It's a Wonderful Life...

While parenting young children, I feel sometimes, (even daily) I need to remind myself that I am not the product of my circumstances.  Putting it more simply...though the days are long and the nights are short, though my clothes are often covered in spit-up, marker and crumbs, though I often feel unappreciated, beat down and washed up...my purpose is not dependent on all of that.

I look at my life now, compared to what it was before children, and there are times I will admit to feeling less of a person now than I was before.  People say to me all the time, "I could never do what you do."  And usually I chuckle, because most days (no, EVERY day) are a struggle for me.  If ever you have the impression that I'm good at this parenting thing, let me put that rumor to rest. I'm not a pro at this, just because I've been through it four times now.  I've got NO CLUE what I am doing most days.  I just know that when the kids are finally in bed for the night, I have to dust myself off, take a deep breath,.... and get ready to do it all over again in a few more hours.

My purpose isn't in achievements, or salary, or titles I've earned...it's not in my spouse or children either.  It's not in how many "likes" I get in a Facebook post.  No, my purpose is to take what I'm given each day, like it or not, and be grateful for it.  My purpose is to look out for others before myself, to help wherever I can, to pray (A LOT), to teach, to learn, to love.  

Winter is always the hardest time of the year for me.  You have the dark, gloomy days, the cold, wet weather, and the sicknesses that inevitably hit (again and again).  But there is still wonder in the little things, there is still beauty when you take the time to look for it, there is still warmth, in the hug of a loved one, in the twinkling eyes of a little one staring up at you, in a home-cooked meal shared around the table together.

Every year, around Christmas, I catch some part of the movie It's a Wonderful Life.  It's definitely one of my favorites...and I definitely cry every time I see it.  And the message of the whole story is so poignant, so thought-provoking.....What would the world be like if I were never born?  Stop and think about that for a few minutes each morning before getting into the daily grind.  What difference have I made and do I still have to make in the world I live in?

It really is a wonder...this life we live.  Every day brings something new to discover.  Every day is an opportunity...what you make of it, no matter how mundane it may seem...well that's where your purpose is found.  God doesn't desire me to waste a single day, languishing in despair or obsessing about how I am EVER going to get my house clean again.  (however tempting that may be).  So I try my best to look forward to tomorrow, knowing that at times it will still be hard, but also knowing that God's got my back...that He doesn't want me to be discouraged when the kids are acting out or demanding more than I can give.  When I'm down on my hands and knees cleaning up a spill for the 9th time...I can truly say, "My cup runneth over."  I am so blessed to be "in the trenches" with my kids right now.  It truly is a wonderful, crazy life...

The Help

It's a jungle out there...quite literally!  We've been seeing all kinds of fun critters in the yard lately and the kids are enjoying it.  Sienna wants to peek in on the baby blue bird every day.  His two siblings already left so I'm guessing he won't be sticking around for much longer.  We saw a flicker and another rose breasted grosbeak over the weekend.  It's cool when you stop and pay attention to all the different animals you see every day.  We also were trying to attract some blue jays with peanuts, which worked yesterday...but today we had another visitor cashing in on the free food....Derrick's favorite chipmunk.  I guess he tired of eating all my tulip bulbs...sigh.

Flicker

Rose Breasted Grosbeak

Baby Blue Bird

The peanut thief!

My little "helper"

Sienna has been such a little helper lately...she always wants to be doing whatever we are...which is actually, usually, not very helpful at all.  Like the other morning, for example, when she "helped" take her diaper off, which was pretty wet, and was just standing by the open front door, totally buck naked.  Ugh!

She has gotten used to and now really enjoys going out with me to get the mail every day.  It's gotten to be a little scary almost though, how eagerly she anticipates this small task.  She must have razor sharp hearing when it comes to our mail truck, because she hears it when it's still half-way down the road and yells out "MAIL!!!  GET IT!" over and over again.  As soon as it's delivered we have to go out and get it and the minute she has it in her grasp, she starts on a ripping spree. She is mad if I take any letters away from her, she loves to tear them all open.  Usually I'll leave her on the floor with a pile of junk mail and return a few minutes later to find it shredded into bits all over the floor.

She helped me clean up breakfast by pulling a chair over to the counter, grabbing an enormous slice of watermelon, and trying to eat it, which meant most of it ended up on her shirt and on the floor.  She helped me make dinner today by tasting all the carrots I was peeling. Apparently they were quite tasty!  She also helped me make chocolate chip cookies by waiting for me to walk away from the mixing bowl and reaching her hand into the raw dough, scooping out a big handful, and smashing it all over the counter.  Yummmmm...

She loves to "help" with the laundry...which means she throws it completely unsorted into the washer and sometimes the dryer.  She will randomly sneak in a dirty shirt when I'm throwing the clean clothes into the dryer, leaving me to pick through every item to find the one dirty thing.  That's fun!  She loves to unfold a huge pile of just-folded laundry...I see her coming and I cringe.

Tonight she helped call the older kids to dinner by yelling, over and over, "Guys!  It's ready".  At first I wasn't sure what she was saying, but that was definitely it and it cracked me up.  She's getting to be so big!

This was a total "Pin Win"!!!  I've had some major flops lately, but this was easy and the kids LOVED doing it.  It didn't take very long and the finished shirts are actually pretty cool.  They did fade a bit after washing but are still really cool.  Got the shirts for $3 at the craft store and used sharpies to color...then did a dropper with rubbing alcohol to make them bleed together.  Cool tie-dye effect!  Here's the link I used for the full instructions.

Ahhh...the weekend

Saturday morning...a time every tired adult looks forward to all week.  A time to kick back, relax, and recharge the batteries.  I was just reading another one of those articles last night while working out on my elliptical...you know the ones written for people who still have lives and get 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep every night.  Yea...I remember those days...vaguely...  Anyway, it was about the best ways to stay stress free and keep your hormones in balance.  The list was something like this:
1. Sleep - at least 7 straight hours a night (failed)
2. Meals - three balanced meals a day (do goldfish crackers and cheese sticks count as a meal and are frequent snacks allowed due to pregnancy hunger pangs??)
3.  Make some time to relax and do something you enjoy (Um...the only time I have to relax is after about 9:30 or 10 pm...by then the only thing that sounds relaxing to me is sleep....FAILED)
4.  I can't remember the rest of the list but that is probably due to failing #1

Ah yes, Saturday...a time to sleep in and....oh wait...what's that I hear?  It's only 6 am and someone is screaming "Mama....mama....mama!!!"  Yes, well sleeping in isn't that important, right?  It can still be a totally relaxing morning, right???  Oh wait...I should have responded to the screaming sooner...now there are three kids awake before 7 am.  What was I thinking?  OK, it's all good....not a big deal.

I come downstairs and the first thing I see is that the cat threw up right at the bottom of the steps....on my new shoes.  Oh and there are ants ALL over it.  Seriously?  Do these kind of things happen to normal people???

I finish cleaning that loveliness up and...wait...what's that?  You all want different breakfasts?  Well, that's nothing new...sure Reese you can have eggs, sure Carter you can have a pancake, sure Sienna, you can have fruit and a bagel.  Oh wait, now Carter wants eggs too, and Sienna wants a pancake (with whipped cream). She says "shhhh" like the sound of the whipped cream shooting out of the canister.  Well, why not...we want everyone to be full before soccer starts.

Derrick left with Carter at 8:15 for the first round of soccer and my only to-do's were to get the girls and myself dressed and ready for the second soccer practice at 10 am.  No problemo!  Two poopy diapers later, I am still in my pajamas trying to clean up breakfast.  I go up to my bathroom to try and get myself looking presentable.  Sienna's favorite activity while I'm getting ready in the morning is to empty out the entire bottom shelf of my bathroom closet and also empty out everything she can from under the sink.  There are now boxes of bar soap ripped open and lying all over the floor, tampons and pads everywhere, bottles of hair products and face cream, she is gnawing on my tube of toothpaste and she's trying to climb the toilet to pull the cat's tail as he sits in the open window above it.

I try to collect some dirty laundry next and toss it downstairs, then get Reese ready.  Now it's cleanup time.  Every room I walk into is a disaster.  Sienna has pulled out books and toys in her room.  There is a tampon, a bottle of sunscreen and my drooled-on toothpaste sitting in Reese's room now, and she's currently in my closet trying on my jewelry and dropping various pieces around the floor in my room and down the hall.  One of my bracelets is pushed up her arm all the way to her armpit.

Let's just suffice it to say that this is pretty much how the whole day went....how every day seems to go around here.  Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean they give us any sort of break or downtime.

We got home at 8 pm tonight from grocery shopping and I let my guard down for 1 minute thinking, "they are tired...they won't get into trouble."  I turned around and Sienna had found my ultrasound pictures sitting on the desk and a marker and was just about to color them!!!  Yes, it was another relaxing Saturday, for sure!

I am MOM

It was an ever-so-romantic Valentine's Day yesterday.  I was sick as a dog (still am) and spent my morning going to the dentist.  As I sat there, she began with the probing questions about my life...not sure why they see fit to do this when you have got multiple sharp objects probing around in your mouth and can't even give good answers to the questions.  But she rambled on about her daughter looking for a college.  When I mentioned Grove City as my Alma mater, she laughed and said it was "too academic" for her daughter.  The top priority was a school with a really good football team.  Well, I tried to interject with how much I loved Grove City and the wonderful friends I made there and how important an academic school is, and she looked me in the face and said, "Yes, but does it really matter?  I mean, look at you now."  Shock...unbelief...dismay...I cannot believe another woman and mother would say that just because I chose to leave the professional sector and stay at home with my kids.

I want to make this very clear, I loved college and I think it shaped so much of who I am today...it was invaluable both in a professional sense and for personal development.  I loved the job I left when I had Carter.  I read and reread my final performance review probably 20 times with tears in my eyes because I felt really fulfilled in my job, liked my boss, was doing really well in the company with huge potential for advancement.  But more importantly, I knew, and had always known, I wanted to be at home with my babies...wanted to be the one who was raising them.  And I am so unimaginably blessed to have a husband with the same values who is able and willing to be the one to work so I can be here.

Yesterday, on a day when Sienna literally kept me on my toes from before sun-up until bedtime, I was a little peeved to be pondering my value to society.  We started the day at 6:20 AM with her throwing a tempter tantrum because she saw a lollipop on the counter and I wouldn't give it to her for breakfast.  This was followed by me getting her a real breakfast and nearly falling on my face because I slipped on a bead necklace she'd thrown on the floor...this caused me to drop my own breakfast and in the process of trying not to fall on my face, stepping backwards on her cup, which she'd also thrown on the floor, causing it to fly into the wall and pop open, shooting water everywhere.  Throughout the day I caught her coloring the wood floor with a pencil, coloring the fridge three different times with markers the kids kept dropping on the floor.  We were upstairs in my bathroom where I was trying to get dressed and she emptied out both bathroom cabinets, was ripping open boxes of bar soap from the closet, dumped out a huge box of tampons onto the floor and was tearing them open.  Then she heard the phone ring, yelled "Nani", because she thinks everyone who calls is my mom, and ran out into the bedroom to grab it and bring it back in to me.  Fortunately she didn't turn it on since it was a work call for Derrick!  Later, back downstairs I caught her scrubbing the hallway wall with the toilet brush....ewwww!!!  She was into her daily chair climbing routine, emptying my kitchen cupboards of pots, pans, lids, and bottles.  She got into the tissues and was pulling them out of the box as fast as her little hands could move.  She was begging for the same snack that she saw Reese eating and then proceeded to take it right out to the couch and dump it (cereal) out all over the couch.  When the kids were watching a movie, she kept going out and turning the TV off.  Reese was sitting in a rocking chair while trying to watch the movie and she kept going over to it and rocking it as hard as she could.  And after dinner, she somehow got her little fingers on an extra hamburger patty that was sitting on the table and was walking around the family room with it.  She should have had "Chaos" for a middle name....and this was all in just one day.

Yup, look at me now!

Am I a value to society or a drain on it?  Does the fact that I am not using my degree (Business) in a professional setting make me lazy or unproductive or less valuable?  Or is there perhaps application for the things I learned in the everyday life of being a mom?  I always dread filling out forms where it has a space for Profession.  Do I put "n/a", "homemaker", "Stay-at-home-mom".  I really don't feel that any of those adequately describes what I do.

Someday, when my kids are older, I do hope I'll have enough brain cells left to work again.  Or maybe I'll write a best-selling book.  Or maybe I'll continue to be at home and look back over these years I've spent with fond memories, zero regrets, and not-a-small sigh of relief that I've managed to survive it all. Regardless of how the rest of my years play out, I will never regret my education.

I'm the one with the crying baby...

You know that Mom...you've seen her a dozen times and thought, "Oh my gosh, I would never look like that with my kids!"  Or, "Oh my gosh she needs to get it together!"  Or "Thank God that isn't me!!!"  Yep, well, I am that Mom.  Sad, but true.  Let me just recap a tidbit of the awesomeness of this day.  Let's see, where shall we start...perhaps at midnight when I finally crashed into bed?  Or maybe between the hours of 3-5 am when the baby would not sleep?  No, let's fast forward to 11 am.  I walk into Reese's gymnastics class with the three kids, through the pouring icy rain.  Peek into the covered up car seat only to see a very awake Sienna.  NOOOOOO.  I had counted on her falling asleep since there had been no morning nap yet.  But she was having none of that...oh no, Sir!  After trying to hold the squirmy pants for 40 minutes, I decided to change her diaper, only to be welcomed by an enormous poop explosion that I was totally unprepared for.  Not about to run through the rain again to get all my supplies, I made do as best I could.  But this is not the end of my story. 

As I was leaving the gym, I asked Carter to hold the door for me since I was pushing the stroller and had my hands loaded up with bags and gear.  He of course was playing a game on the Kindle and though he acknowledged me, he walked right through the door and let it slam in my face.   Gee...thanks...

I next drove the kids to the library, because after three months of this ridiculously depressing weather I am determined to get out of the house as much as possible.  We got there and my plan was to feed the baby in the van while the kids sat in their seats and ate lunch.  After just a few minutes though, Carter turned to me and said, "I really have to go to the bathroom."  (Translation for non-parents...I'm going to pee my pants if we don't get to a toilet in the next 60 seconds.)  Why do they do this to me?????  So everyone's lunch was cut short as we raced again through the rain into the library, where not just Carter but also Reese had to go.  Amazing how it's somehow contagious!

While at the library, Sienna was having no part of staying in her seat, so I had to carry her.  We looked for books and filled a huge bag with them.  Then I decided to do what no parent of three should ever attempt...I ventured into the ADULT section of the library.  I checked to see if the book I wanted was available, which it was, I knew right where to find it, and I figured we could be in and out in just minutes with little disturbance to the other adults in the "quiet part of the library."  We made our entrance, found the section where the book should be...but no book.  By now Reese was rolling around on the floor, Carter was trying to pull Sienna out of my arms, and she was squealing.  I went back to the computer and was trying to type in the name of the book again with one hand when a kind librarian came over, and in a hushed voice asked me, "Can I help you find a book?"  Wow, I had no idea they offered a concierge service at the library that would pull any book you wanted for you while you waited.  Or perhaps she looked over from her desk to see a flustered mom with two kids dancing in circles around her while she tried to hold a squirming baby and type and had pity on her.  Nonetheless, I took her up on her offer and while she was back in the shelves looking for my book, a fight broke out and Carter punched Reese in the eye.  She was never able to find the book and I left as quickly as I could.

On the drive home, Sienna finally fell asleep.  Ahhh, at last...a break!  But she woke up just 15 minutes after we got out of the car.

I know these scenes are not uncommon...any of us with a couple of kids has had numerous days like this.  And when you get to the end of them, you can't help but laugh, just a little bit, and shake your head, and think, how do I survive this crazy ride of parenting sometimes???

The Speed of Life

 

The days go by slowly but the years go by fast.  Oh how true this is!  Each day can sometimes be agonizingly slow to survive, especially when it's winter time.  But when I stop to look at the progress of my kids, how they've grown, all that they can do, everything they have learned, it is absolutely astounding.  I've been at this job now for more than five years, and sometimes it seems like it has just happened in the blink of an eye.  I am so thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to be a mom. No other job could afford the great "privilege" of giving your all for another person, so sacrificially, so completely.  And oh, what this kind of sacrifice can teach a person, if they will only stop to see their own progress and growth.

Yes, things do move fast.  It's hard at times to keep up with the constant motion and list of demands in a busy home. I was feeling a little overwhelmed by it all yesterday while shopping with Carter and Reese.  At the first store, I was about to leave and realized I had something in the cart that I hadn't paid for.  This has happened twice this week already.  So I had to put that back on the shelf before leaving.  In the second store, I made it all the way to the checkout line and realized I hadn't grabbed the grocery item I needed to make a recipe waiting at home.  Old age??  Dementia??  Lack of sleep??  Oh but apparently it's not that.  Here is a conversation at the dinner table last night:

Carter: "I know what I want to be for Halloween....an Angry Bird." 
Derrick: "Really, which one?"
Carter: "I want to be the Eagle bird from Space Angry Birds or the Dragon from the other Angry Birds.  Or I want to be Mario, or Yoda, or Puss in Boots."
Reese: I want to be the Black Angry Bird.  Mama, what are you?
Me: I'm a tired Mama.
Reese:  But you don't need any sleep!

Seriously, we are planning for Halloween already!?!  Those sound like some SUPER easy costumes to make too.

Oh, and here's another all too familiar conversation:

Derrick (at dinner table): Carter, do you want anything else to eat?
Carter: No I can't eat another bit.  (He gets up and puts his plate in the sink, then turns around and asks) Dadda, can I have a cupcake???

5 Months and Memories

 I can't believe my baby girl has already crossed the 5 month mark.  Time is just flying by...and it ain't because we're having fun.  hahaha

No things haven't suddenly gotten any easier.  Today I felt like I was up to my elbows in...well...poop, to keep it G-rated.  Sienna had three leaks, Reese had to poop at least 4 times and tonight Reese peed her pants...no idea where that even came from.  But seriously...do they all coordinate these events?  Like, on Wednesday, let's all triple team Mama whenever we need to use the bathroom.  UGH!!!

But, in all seriousness ...time really is flying.  Kindergarten registration is in just a few weeks and I can hardly believe I'll be sending my first "baby" off to school this fall.  I feel like I literally blinked my eyes and he grew up overnight.  I find myself looking at Sienna during our middle-of-the-night feedings and thinking...this was Carter just a few years back, where did the time go?  I was in his room the other night and looking at a little shelf on his wall that has a pair of his baby shoes and a bank that is a baby bottle thinking...oh my gosh, where did my baby boy go?  For all the difficulties and frustrations, tears and sleepless nights, I'd do it all over again in a second.  I can't believe how fast it all flew by...can't believe sometimes that I survived it not once, not twice, but now working on my third go-round.  And it seems to pass by more quickly with each child.



The days that are the most difficult are so easy to take for granted...but now looking back, I'd do the hardest days over again just to keep my babies little for one day longer.

The Descent into Mediocrity...

I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday...dark circles under my eyes, spit up on my shirt sleeve, and a screaming baby under one arm and thought...how did I get here???  For as much as I tell myself I am shaping the future of America...well it's hard not to feel a little down about my profession/plight as a parent every once in a while.  Maybe it was the sunup to sundown weekend of the baby's screaming that pushed me over the pity-party edge this time...or lack of sleep...or the apparent need of my older two to trash the house at every opportunity and speak only in screams.  Regardless of the cause of my downward spiral, I realized this morning when the baby woke me up at 5:30 and Reese was up at 6 that I had to snap out of it.

I had to dab some concealer on the quarter-sized bruise/goose egg in the front-center of my forehead. This was a result of running into a wall yesterday.  When I told some friends about it last night they asked, "Oh you mean in the middle of the night."  Oh no, it was in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon yesterday that it happened.  I blame the lack of sleep...

Parenting is a thankless job...this is true.  I mean, what delusion was I under that my kids would pop out and immediately say, "Oh mommy, thanks for giving birth to me...whatever can I do to repay you???"  Ha!  It's the realization that many sacrifices are overlooked for the duration of their childhood (and possibly adulthood too) that suddenly makes you appreciate what your own parents sacrificed for you.  THANKS Mom and Dad!!  Now there's an understatement.

It's tempting to feel like I live a pretty mediocre existence these days.  Wiping dirty bottoms, making meals, and a never ending task of cleaning the house/kids/clothes.  But then I really stop and pay attention to the things around me.  I  feel the warm weight of a child on my lap while we read a book together.  Look deeply into the inquisitive eyes of my daughter.  Tumble around on the floor with my son.  Make goofy faces at my baby and watch her smile and biggest smile in delight.  No, this is not mediocrity.  This is a precious gift.

Information Age

I have been increasingly overwhelmed lately by the amount of information I'm feeling I need to be teaching my kids.  Maybe it's the fact that we opted to skip pre-school.  Maybe it's the fact that I'd rather not have my kids learning life's most important lessons sitting in front of the computer or the television.  But take away these outlets and that leaves me with a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time and a tank running on empty when I'm up half the night with a crying, hungry baby.  We've mastered the alphabet....at looooong last, and numbers are going well too.

But what about some of the more complex life lessons?  My kids are at an age where they are absorbing information like little sponges, and I want them to be aware that there is so much more to life than the acquisition of new toys.  I want them to understand what it means to truly forgive, and how/why we should do unto others what we would have them do unto us.  I want them to know about being thankful for blessings we receive every single day and to begin to grasp what poverty is, and that much of the world does not live the kind of lifestyle that we do.  These things in particular stand out in my mind at this very materialistic/consumeristic time of year.

In an age with an unfathomable amount of information available at the touch of a few keys, it can be difficult to discern what is most critical for raising intelligent and well-balanced kids.  When I take them outside for a walk, I don't want to be solely focused on the physical activity, but also make them aware of their surrounding environment, pointing out leaves and birds and other parts of nature.

I asked Reese last night if she wanted to sing a Christmas song rather than our usual "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and she didn't know a Christmas song for me to sing.  And it hit me, I've got to teach her the songs I was raised singing the way my mom and grandmom taught me.  I asked Carter if he knew how many feet tall he was, and the difference between left and right, and how much a penny was worth.  So many teachable moments...so little time.

Last night Derrick commented to me that "parenting is an impossible job."  Oh how true that is!  Part of being a parent is acknowledging that you will Never Ever be able to be everything your child demands, teach them everything they need to know, and shelter them from the unfortunate realities of life for very long.

When I find myself slipping into the "I am a failure" mode, I try to pray for whatever is troubling me. At that very moment of admission that I can't do this on my own, I am SO grateful that God will step in, give me a little pat on the back, and say, "Let Me take it from here."

At lunch yesterday, Reese asked me, "Why are you eating quinoa and spaghetti squash?"  For a three year old to know this...well, that has to count for something, right??

Speaking of quinoa, here's what's for Dinner tonight, Quinoa Butternut Squash Gratin.

Halloween Fun

 We took the kids to a farm nearby for a birthday party today.  They all had a blast with the Halloween activities and Hayride there and just spending a lovely afternoon with their friends.

Sienna slept the entire time and had one of her best nights last night so she wins the good baby award for today.  Good thing too, because she was definitely taking the worst baby ever award, hands down.  I was feeling a little desperate yesterday after she spent about 3 hours wide awake on Thursday night and was up every hour.  So I came up with a few ideas a tired Mom could use to make life a little easier on those barely-keeping-my-eyes-open kind of days.

When it comes to eating and drinking, well, it gets pushed waaayyy down on the list of things to do when you've got three kids screaming at you simultaneously for different things.  So I thought, why not have your hydration right on hand at all times?  I've got this handy Camelback I could just wear around the house all the time and would merely need to tilt my head to the side for a nice drink of cool, refreshing water.  Not like I'm going to be using it for any long hikes anytime soon so I might as well put it to good use now, right?   And when it comes to eating, there is just never a food that is easy enough to eat when your hands are tied up.  So why not just puree it all and have it available to drink out of a cup when I'm so hungry I'm starting to shake.  Who needs a knife and fork and dirty dishes when you can drink it from a cup?  Hmmm, just wondering how that stuffed pepper I ate for lunch would taste in liquid form??

When the day is coming to an end and I have the choice of going right to bed or getting a shower, more often than not I'll opt for the extra 30 minutes of sleep.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a chronic showerer when I have time and adequate shut-eye, but these days, I don't have much of either.  Since I spend more of the night looking into the beady little eyes of my very-awake daughter than sleeping, every minute becomes priceless.  But, I've found there are some unforeseen benefits to not showering.  I've actually received several compliments on my hair on days when I've gone 2 or even 3 days without showering.  Apparently glossy, smooth hair is a by-product of my slovenliness   While some women spend hundreds of dollars on keratin treatments or precious time blow-drying their hair to perfection each day, I can just skip the suds for a day or two and, Voila!, great hair.  (and more sleep!!)

We were piling into the car yesterday to run some errands when I realized, just in the nick of time, that I was still wearing my slippers.  And I got to thinking...shoes are SOOO overrated.  I mean, it is WAY easier to pull on some slippers when you are holding a baby as opposed to tying on a pair of sneakers.  And whoever thinks Velcro is just for toddlers...well that is just so wrong!!!  They should use Velcro on EVERYTHING.  Outlaw all shoelaces, ties, buttons, snaps and zippers.  Everything should be elastic and Velcro.  That would make the world a better place for tired and time-strapped moms.

You can thank me for my time and sanity-saving tips...I know...I'm a genius.  Or maybe a lunatic...you decide!

Thank Goodness...

Thank goodness for my friends!
Thank goodness for the two friends who came over yesterday with meals all made up for my family...one to freeze for when the baby arrives and one to eat right away...so perfect on a day I had nothing prepared!
Thank goodness for two different neighbors who fed me and the kids lunch two days in a row this week.
Thank goodness for the chance to get together with some of my other mom friends and swap stories of our parenting triumphs and woes.  It's a good reminder that we're all in this together...and nobody's kids are perfect!
Thank goodness for the neighbors who are organizing a meal train for my family to bring us lots of great dinners after the baby arrives.
And thank goodness for the chance to go out this morning and get a haircut.  What blissful alone time before a new baby comes into the world.

I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends looking out for me during this crazy transition for our family.  It certainly helps ease some of the tension as the big day approaches.


Last night Carter somehow got onto the topic of other countries and different languages.  He asked me what a language is and I tried to explain how people who live in different countries use all different words than we do.  He asked, "Like Nani and Pop Pop."  And I said, "No, New Jersey isn't a different country, it's a different state and they speak the same language."  He was still struggling with the concept so I asked him if he ever heard someone speaking but didn't understand any of the words they were saying.  He answered, "Yea, Alex!"  (His little friend down the street.) hahaha

Pizza for Breakfast and Bath Time Bribery

They know how to get you...that is one thing I have learned and continue to learn every day.  I don't think you ever truly master the art of being a parent.  Whenever you do feel you are making some progress a new phase commences, and so the fun begins...all over again.

I feel like we might be through the worst of the temper tantrum phase with Carter...at least the ones that happen out in public in the most inconvenient places and at the most inconvenient times.  So Reese saw fit to carry on right where her brother left off and is really starting to put my patience to the test with some full-fledged freak-outs at places like the grocery store, and the library.  

Carter has been making some real progress with his manners.  We had an awesome day on Tuesday where he was constantly using "Please" and "Thank You" and "No Thank" you and being super helpful with anything I asked him to do.  Fast forward one more day and it was..."I want this...I want that.  NO NO NO!"  Well, I'll have to take the good days with the bad and just be thankful they aren't all bad.

Bath time has gotten to be a real challenge lately for some reason.  Both of my kids started out loving their bath time.  Now it all hinges on finding the appropriately appealing bribery method to get them to cooperate.  Yesterday I colored the water blue with food coloring and gave them straws to blow bubbles in the water.  Two days before that we did a glow stick bath...putting glow sticks in the water and turning out the lights.  Their enjoyment of the bath is also directly proportionate to the amount of wetness they can cause in the bathroom.  Usually Derrick or I are totally soaked by the end of the bath as well as the walls and floor.

If anyone can send me a recipe for a meal your kids will ALWAYS eat, please send away.  I have yet to find a meal my kids will both eat consistently.  No matter what I make, we are supplementing with something else...or they just don't eat anything at all.  This morning, in lieu of eggs or pancakes or cereal, they both wanted to eat pizza.  Oh well, at least I found something they will both eat?!

My final pet peeve for the week is the night wakings.  I thought this was an infant stage that would be long gone by the time we reached 2 1/2 and 4 years of age...but sadly, there are few nights we aren't woken up at least once.  Reese is the main culprit and since November she's been having a rough go of it.  I don't know if we need to move her to a bed...if she's having nightmares, or if she is some kind of mutant that just doesn't need any sleep.  Two nights ago she woke us up at least 8 times, and Carter was up once screaming too.  It was horrific.   There truly is no rest for the weary parent.

I am reading a great parenting book "Loving the Little Years", recommended by a friend, that encourages me to work through these ongoing challenges.  I'll share a little excerpt:

"It is very easy for us to forget about the progress they make and to ignore the problems that they no longer wrestle with.  If you have been faithfully disciplining your children, I guarantee you that there are many, many problems that they no longer struggle with.... As a parent it is very easy to demean their progress by demeaning the struggle.  Instead of praising them and pointing to their progress to encourage them, we ignore it.  We might even try to make them feel like they never make any progress.....Try to notice the little mile markers on the path of sanctification.  If the sins have changed, it can be a sign of growth.  It is not as though our children are going to emerge from their current problems into perfect holiness ....Another important aspect  of this is that new problems come with age, whether or not we are ready for it.  If you have more than one child, it is especially easy to forget about their progress, because no sooner does one outgrow something than the next takes it up - like the Olympic torch."

Do the Right Thing

As I was looking at the window this morning, a hint of rosy light just touching the horizon, a thought came to my mind.  (I know...scary at that hour of the morning, right!?)  I thought to myself, "Each day gives us a new opportunity to do the right thing."

It is SO easy for me to get caught up in the day-to-day craziness of being a parent of two children.  It's easy to complain about how hard they are, how much sleep I am deprived of...to just step back and shake my head when they are misbehaving and throw up my hands in defeat.  It's easy to feel like I'm not doing the right things...like my parenting isn't effective or doesn't matter.  (Even though I know that it does.)   It's easy to take out my frustrations on my husband or others around me.  It's easy to let the things that troubled me yesterday, carry over to today.   


But I want to put those feelings in check.  I want God's peace to wash over my doubts and frustrations and worries about how my kids will turn out.  I want to take this opportunity today and each new day to have a fresh start.  Days often seem long, sitting at home, alone with the kids (especially in these winter months).  But when you stop and put it all in perspective, you remember and realize that our lives are but a breath.

I have so little time with my children in these "baby years" to teach them everything I possibly can, to provide them with love and support and nurturing, to give them boundaries, to teach them right from wrong, to show them that it is better to give than to receive.

So what if loving them means I have to get up before it's light every day, so what if it means I have to read the same book to Reese 20 times a day, so what if they only want to eat bananas and granola bars at every meal.  Loving my children is teaching me daily what it means to love unconditionally, the way that God loves me.

So I am trying to put all these things in perspective today so that I can start out this day and this week by doing the right thing.  With God's grace and strength, I hope to be the very best parent and wife I can be today.  Give me that strength Lord, to love my children when they are most unlovable and to be the best parent I can possibly be, today and every day.

Focus

 I was blessed with a few hours away from my kids last night to go run some errands.  Nothing all that exciting, but a much-needed break to be sure.  Once summer is over and we change the clocks back, I'll admit to succumbing to some serious winter blues (and yes I know it is not even winter yet).  I realize my patience runs thin a little quicker, my attitude is a little lacking on the positive side, and my ability to tough it out during the tenser moments is greatly diminished.  In short...I need to really work on my overall attitude or I will just let my kids drive me completely crazy for the next 5 months!

At our backyard bird feeder today!

While I was waiting in some bad traffic to get home from my errands it was tempting to again succumb to the bad attitude of, "I can't believe I have to wait in this traffic.  I never get out by myself and here I am sitting in lousy rush hour traffic."  And then through the dark and rain...my headlights reflected on a word on the back of the car in front of me.  It said "Focus"...yes, that's as in Ford Focus...I'm a dork, I know.  But I had no where to go and not much else to look at but the car in front of me and it did make me think.

When I stop worrying about all the things I didn't get done today, stop wishing my life were easier...my kids were better behaved or more self-sufficient...or whatever...when I do stop to focus on all the things I have to be thankful for...wow...where do I start?

I need to have more perseverance...to get through the long and trying days of being with the kids.  I need to have a more positive attitude and not let the small setbacks get under my skin and ruin my outlook.  And I need to have more patience to deal with the craziness that is life.

Thanks for that little reminder to focus...


This morning we had a different kind of visitor at our bird feeder.  When Carter told me there was a "really big bird" there, I wasn't sure what I'd see but I wasn't expecting a turkey!  He then asked me, "Is the turkey we eat for Thanksgiving like a real turkey?"  Uhhhhh, not sure how to answer that one, buddy.  ;)

A Referee, a Cleaning Lady, a SAHM

The day dawns sunny and bright and both kiddos, despite being completely exhausted last night, no naps yesterday, and later bed times, are up very early.  But that's OK, I tell myself, I can handle it!

Pep talk over, I set out to occupy my kids with some fun indoor activities because it is not even 8 am yet.  But wait...what's that you're saying Carter, you want to...wash the car???  OK, how many kids ask to wash the car before 8 AM, really?  So since it was still rather chilly our compromise was to go out and blow bubbles for a while first, then wash the car.  Other than their odd requests for entertainment, the morning is starting off relatively smoothly.  Both kids even eat breakfast, which is a rare occurrence these days.

But then the fighting starts...and once it starts, that is when the real testing begins.  Is it just me or does anyone else with kids feel like their days are spent yelling, "No!" and "Stop hitting!" and "Please don't fight!" almost constantly?  Whenever I set out on this journey of parenting I knew it'd be tough, I knew there'd be days I wanted to throw in the towel.  I grew up with little brothers so I knew from personal experience that kids do fight...we certainly did plenty.  I guess I just wasn't prepared for how early the fighting would start and how frequently it would occur.  Carter will play by himself for hours if I let him...completely content, totally wrapped up in his own little world.  As soon as Reese enters the scene, however, it's like a full blown war.

"Reese looked at my Legos!"
"But why did you punch her in the head?"
"She was going to TOUCH them!!!"

Oh my heavens, that would be just unthinkable!  I do not say this aloud because really, what's the point?  Just another typical day in Mommy World.

I feel as if the kids are constantly watching me and waiting for even the smallest opportunity to fight, to make messes, and just generally get into trouble.  They always seem to have this sixth sense about when my guard is down...when they can catch me not watching them, when they can do the most damage, or when we are out in public and there is little I can do.

I pick up the phone to call my mom...moments later...SCREAMING from the other room.  Reese yelling, "Carter hit me!  Carter hit me!"  Carter yelling, "Reese hit me, Reese hit me."

Later in the morning at the Farmer's Market...we cruise down the aisles for a few minutes in relative peace...then it comes time to pay.  There are about 30 people in line with a very slow, newbie checker, and the kids go berserk.  Carter was in the big part of the cart and Reese in the seat in the front.  Both are now facing each other totally battling it out.  To make matters worse, the woman behind me seems to be in an even bigger hurry to get out of the store than I am and keeps bumping into my legs with her cart.

Once home, the kids race from one room to the next leaving behind a path of destruction.  There are trucks and diggers, super heroes and baby dolls, legos and books strewn everywhere about the house.

And then my knight in shining armor comes home from work.  He may not literally sweep me off my feet as he enters the  house, but he does sweep the little maniacs out of my path for a few precious minutes of peace while I finish making dinner....a time that I cherish every day.

Just another normal day in the life of any Stay at Home Mom...

This story made me feel better about myself tonight...it's been a CRAZY week here and I needed a little emotional boost.

Looking ahead....

I try to live in the present as much as possible.  As I see my kids' "baby years" slipping away, I want to hold on tight to each day I spend with them and enjoy these precious years as much as possible.  All too soon, it will be over.  I was reminded of this ever so poignantly today as I watched all of the neighborhood kids line up at the bus stop for the first day of school.  Several kids we play with were starting Kindergarten this year.  You could feel the excitement, mixed with a little fear, in the air.  And the parents were excited too as they stood with the kids, waiting for the big yellow school bus to arrive.

When you first hold that tiny baby in your arms, school seems so far away it hardly seems real.  Then as the years creep by, you suddenly realize how quickly the time has really passed.  That your once immobile, cooing babe, is now a running, chatty toddler, inching closer and closer to that day.  We still have 2 years until school begins, but somehow, that sounds very short to me now, knowing how quickly the last 4 years have flown by.  (Yes, I was blessed with an extra year to adjust since Carter's birthday falls right after the cut-off, and I can't say I'm sad about it.)

So as much as I want to live in the present, I can't help but look ahead today.  To think of the future, 2 years from now.  That first day of school...the excitement...the fear...the separation from my "baby."  I grow frustrated these days when he still clings to my leg, when he cries if I go too far away from him.  To think in just 2 more years he'll be spending the better part of his weekdays at school...  Perhaps I can try to remember this when he is clenched on tight to my leg...perhaps I can stoop down to comfort him and remember in the back of my mind that in the years ahead, I will miss this.

Time is precious...  Life is precious...  Each day we are blessed with on this earth is not to be taken for granted.  I thank God for the (almost) 4 years I've already had at home with my children, and I look forward to what lies ahead.

Babies vs. Toddlers

I have a number of friends who just had babies in the last 3 or 4 months.  It is hard for me, whenever I'm around newborns, not to compare them to my own children.  Now don't get any ideas or start spreading any rumors about me trying for #3 because that isn't happening any time soon!  It's just that it's hard not to miss those tiny baby moments, those sleepy days of cuddling and cooing, of itty bitty fingers and toes.  Babies get a bad rap because of the whole sleep deprivation thing...but toddlers can be pretty formidable too!

Don't get me wrong, the first few months, perhaps even the first full year of a baby's life is SO difficult, mainly due to sleep deprivation.  And though things do get easier, in a sense, once your kids can start doing a few things for themselves, you also encounter a whole new round of challenges with each new stage.

Babies, for one example, stay where you put them.  You have the oh-so-convenient car seat for much of that first year that you can lug the baby around in when you are running errands or even let them sleep in.  You lay them down on a blanket or a swing or a bouncy seat, and they stay there.  This is a shocking revelation once you have a mobile child on your hands.  Life as you've known it will never be the same...toddlers and older children, yea that's a different story.  You're lucky if they sit still long enough to listen to one page in a book, let alone last through an entire meal, book, bath...anything.  I tell Reese all the time that she's got ants in her pants, and some days I really think it is true.  (I haven't found them yet, but I'm still looking)

Babies are so quiet.  Yes I know they cry a TON more than older children.  I felt sometimes like Reese cried for the entire first year of her life.  But once they learn to speak.  Oh that is when the real fun begins.  I feel like I hear the word "No!" more than any other word some days.  And that's not just a "No!"...it's "NO!" at full volume, in the most annoying screeching voice imaginable.  Carter can rattle on about complete nonsense for hours at a time, especially when it's bedtime or when we're in the car.  And it's not just one-sided chatter.  He wants to ask me question after question after question after question...well you get the picture.  I never imagined it could be so exhausting to answer the questions of an inquisitive child.

When you want to take a baby somewhere in the car, you strap them in the car seat and boom, you're on your way.  With older kids, you've got to somehow bribe them to even get near the car (I find candy bars often work....just kidding...just kidding), you've got to get them in, and finally strap them down.  Hopefully once they are both strapped into their seats, they are still fully clothed.  My kids have an uncanny knack for undressing themselves at the most super-inconvenient times...usually at least one article of clothing is missing by the time we are in the car and ready to drive off.  Sometimes I think the verse in the Bible about the camel passing through the eye of the needle should be applied to getting multiple kids loaded into a car.  It is harder to load two unruly toddlers in a minivan than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

Babies are so easy to feed.  They drink milk.  That first 6 months, it's milk, milk and more milk.  What could be more simple than that?  Once they're older, it's like opening Pandora's box.  I think there must be some correlation between the amount of time you spend preparing a meal and the likelihood that your child will actually eat it.  It seems to me the more variety of foods and the more time I spend making a meal I think my kids will eat, the more likely they are to turn up their little noses and not take a single bite.  Or they will fill their plates, take one bite, and dump the rest out.  They are the most fickle eaters.  Reese will wake up and when I ask her if she wants a pancake she'll say yes.  I'll cut it all up on her tray and without taking a bit or blinking an eye, she'll say, "Grapefruit."  I'll get out a grapefruit, cut it all up, feed her 2 bites and she'll stop eating and say, "Eggy."  (egg, for you non-baby speakers).  This can go on and on for 6 or 7 different food items if I let it, which I usually don't.

Most babies love to sleep.  They seem to spend the majority of their days sleeping and sleeping some more.  Now neither of my kids was big on taking naps by the time they reached 7 or 8 months...  My kids seem to gain energy the later it gets in the day and even more so on the days they (now only Reese) don't nap.  Babies will peacefully nod off after a feeding several times a day....my kids will be ready to wrestle with and tackle me until 9 at night.  By that point I've got the energy level of a sloth and can barely defend myself from their onslaught.

When it comes to making messes, any mobile child has a little baby beat, hands down.  Baby messes tend to be of the "bodily function" variety only.  But toddler messes on the other hand...those are contrived, well-thought-out, full blown destruction of the home.  Within 2 minutes, my kids can transform any room from neat and orderly to utter chaos.  You don't believe me...come over sometime and I'll let you see it first hand.  So who "wins" in the battle of babies vs. toddlers...well, I'll let you be the judge...

Productive

Productive...what does that mean?  I was reflecting on that word this morning as I collected vegetables from our now, finally productive garden.  Not that we haven't been picking things every day for the past few months, but today it was like a bonanza.  I got 3 acorn squash, 1 zucchini, a bunch of tomatoes, 3 cucumbers, scallions, dill, thyme, basil, and big bunches of Swiss chard and kale.  What am I making for dinner tonight???  Don't even ask, I haven't started yet, Reese is probably going to be skipping her nap again as she hasn't fallen asleep yet...maybe kale chips and grilled veggies?

What does it mean to be a productive parent?  This was rolling around in my head after I brought all my wonderful produce in to be cleaned.  I mean, it's one thing to be a stay at home mom and spend all day with my kids, day in and day out...but am I being truly productive with the time I spend with them?  Am I parenting them effectively?  How will I ever know the answers to these questions until they are in their 20's and in therapy for something I screwed up???  :)  No but in all seriousness, this goes back to a post I wrote years back now about performance reviews.  I used to really look forward to my performance reviews when I was still working.  Why?  Because then I would know how I was doing and what I could improve on.  You don't get that kind of guidance as a parent.  It's so much trial and error, so much praying and entrusting your kids to God and His care.  It's easy to make a mental checklist at the end of each day and then beat yourself up about what you didn't do with your kids.  Well, I played in the sandbox, took them to the playground, fed them 3 decent meals, read books, played cars...but then I had to take time to clean the house and make dinner and do some laundry...did I really do enough for them today?  Did I give each one of them enough individual attention?  Did they feel loved today?  Was the TV on too long?  Am I doing the right things to get Reese to potty train?  Are they eating enough healthy foods?

It would be so easy to drive myself crazy trying to be the perfect parent.  I'm not...not even close.   Sometimes, it sure would be nice to know if I'm at least tipping the scale more on the productive side...but I'll have to keep doing the best that I can and hoping God will fill in all the gaps along the way.  Hopefully, 10 or 20 years from now, there will be a great "harvest" when I can truly see that everything turned out just fine.

Perspective

I read an excerpt from the book, No Wonder My Parents Drank by Jay Mohr last year and it had me laughing harder than I think I've ever laughed at any book.  So I found it at the library today, and thought this quote from the foreword was worth sharing:

"Much like the circus, being a parent seems to be going out of style.  I don't mean the celebrity "bump watch," fancy baby shower kind of parents.  I am talking about the good old-fashioned, hands in the dirt, covered in spit kind of parents.  We are all so busy with our lives and our BlackBerrys and our hybrid cars and our organic diets and our jobs, our jobs, our jobs.  We have to slow down at least a little.  I know I do.

Pretty soon the circus packs up and leaves town.  Sure, we'll have pictures.  And they will come and visit at Thanksgiving.  But mostly you will have the quiet.  You will hear the music and laughter in the distance on some faraway backyard, but for you the circus has moved on and there's just one big empty space where the Ferris Wheel and the high chair used to be. How could all of those endless years have flown by in an eyelash's flutter?  Why was I in such a hurry?  Where did it all go?  This "Greatest Show on Earth"?  Why did I ever complain?  I liked being the ringmaster..."

Yea and who can't use a little perspective...yea I could on a day like today.  Like when we were standing in the library lobby this morning and I involuntarily flashed all of the library patrons.  Why would I do such a thing, you might ask...oh maybe because my wonderful daughter couldn't keep her hands off my skirt for some reason...had been tugging at it all morning and when I finally snapped and told her to cut it out when we were checking out our books...her response was to hike it up to my waist.  Oh the embarrassment...

These 4 Walls

As a parent of little kids, I find myself spending a lot of time in the house.  I was thinking of this as I was driving to a friend's home today...how much of my world revolves around my home, cleaning it, decorating it, buying toys for the kids to put inside it, furnishing it, and then the inevitable de-cluttering which must frequently occur to make room for more stuff.  It is easy to let your identity get wrapped up in your home.  Heck, it's easy as a stay-at-home-mom to just stay inside all the time and never leave but to get groceries and other essentials.


I may be getting WAY too deep here on a Thursday afternoon, but I think it's good to take a step back from time to time (or a step outside) and remember that there is so much more to life and living than your home.  Yes, we all need shelter, a place to relax together, to sleep, to play...but I find it easy to forget that there is so much more to this world and this life than how much we can accumulate in our homes and how nice they look inside.


This is going to sound totally weird and cheesy, but I remembered a scene from the movie The Labyrinth when I was driving and pondering on all of this...there is a scene where the main female character is trying to find her baby brother and find her way home.  She is lured into this seemingly comfortable and familiar place where all of her favorite toys and things are...it looks just like her home and it is wonderful and she is SO tempted just to stay there.  But when she questions it, when she wonders if it is even really real, she breaks out to find out she is really living in an enormous trash heap.  There is nothing comfortable or beautiful about it at all.  Ok if you've never seen it, just keep reading...


I also recall from time to time C.S. Lewis's The Great Divorce in trying to grasp Heaven and reality.   When this man first gets off the bus transporting him from earth to Heaven, he is shocked by how bright the light is there and how sharp every blade of grass feels on his feet.  It's as if his former reality was only a shadow compared to the reality that is Heaven.


We tend to gravitate toward the things that make us comfortable and happy, the things that are familiar and safe.  Our homes can do all of that for us...but sometimes we need to get outside...to nurture relationships, to challenge ourselves in our faith, in our generosity, in so many ways.


Our pastor has referenced this section from C.S. Lewis's Narnia several times in sermons:

“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

Chapter 8, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Chronicles of Narnia

I read these verses today:

2 Peter 1: 5-8  For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We need to possess these qualities in increasing measure.  There should be no status quo in the Christian life...we are to daily be striving to be more like Christ.  We are to challenge the norms, we need to be more willing to get outside our safety nets and get into the world....  All the beauty I can accumulate while here on earth is really about as attractive as a trash heap compared with the awesome splendor of Heaven.