F is for Failure??

A warmer Saturday morning gave me the urge to get outdoors with the kids and work on a "project."  Why not wash the cars...they were filthy from the salty winter roads and needing a good cleaning.  The two volunteers I was able to recruit were not the most skilled washers, but their enthusiasm to try outweighed any of my doubts.  I stood back and watched as they blasted water and scrubbed soapy sponges rapidly down the sides of the car.  When the entire car was "finished," (after about 5 minutes!) I asked a little incredulously, "Are you sure it's all clean?"  Lawson made a quick go-round with his sponge again and then assured me it was done.  As we were drying it off, I went back over the areas that were still covered in dirt.  Could I have washed the car myself that morning with a much better result??  Of course!  But then would they have had that opportunity to try...and learn?  

Do you have days where you get to the end and look back and just think... "I've failed!"  I have these often.

Do you ever have seasons where you look ahead and find yourself constantly thinking,
I can't wait for this to be over...
Things will be so much better when....
In a few weeks/months/years, this will be easier...

Don't' wish the day away...not one precious day!  Our days, in the grand scheme, are so few.  Yet our perspective often has us always looing back, or ahead, and not appreciating the present.  

A verse that is often read out of context is Philippians 4:13.  

Philippians 4:11-13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I can do all things.  What this verse is really saying is that we can find contentment in all things, both the good and the bad.  We can find contentment in today, even in our apparent failures.

In the past week, God has brought me back to one verse multiple times, 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

But what does this passage mean for me...or for you?  Do I constantly look to things, people, purchases, to-do lists, or future plans to find happiness and purpose in my days?  Am I wasting my time?

I am so quick to focus on the negatives or the things I don't have, and not rejoice in the blessings. I am habitually drawn to my mental checklist of everything I need to "do" and "accomplish" in my day but this often leads to missed opportunities of just being present...looking up to God for my strength, being willing to pray for or with a friend,  listening to someone who needs to talk, looking into my kids' eyes when they talk to me and to spending quality time with them.  And ultimately when the end of the day draws near, I find the most meaning in the moments when I was leaning on God for my strength, when I was talking to Him, dwelling on Him, expressing my inability to Him.

When I am weak...then I am strong.  My failures are slowly transformed into something beautiful.  Side by side...I walk with Him...me in all my inadequacies and shortcomings, He, seeing past all of that and filling in all the gaps and mistakes with His perfect and all-sufficient grace.  I see His tender love, hear His gentle reminders to trust Him. 

I have failed...yes, so often!  And I will continue to do so.  And ever so gently, He is waiting to come alongside me and "clean up" the messes I leave behind.  He wants me to lean on and depend on Him and His grace, for then I can truly be strong.