Love is Patient...

 Well, it's January 30th, which means we are kicking off our 16-day countdown to Valentine's Day.  This is our 3rd year doing the Conversation Heart Countdown, and the kids really love it.  Well, let me rephrase that...they love getting a Hershey kiss every morning when we read our new heart and talk about that aspect of Love.  I'm trying to have them memorize the full scripture this year too, and they are off to a great start.

So anyway, today was "Love is patient"...and it's funny how whenever I'm trying to teach the kids a valuable life lesson about something, it gets turned right back around and smacks me in the face.  The day started out with Sienna dumping and entire bowl of oatmeal on the kitchen floor, smearing Vaseline all over her arms and shirt, and unrolling a whole roll of toilet paper.  Who needs to work on patience today...me!!

My patience was certainly tested this week, not having my refrigerator since Tuesday.  I have never been so thankful for a new appliance as I was today when the delivery men brought our new one!!!  I clearly would never have survived in the days before electricity.  hahaha

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Fun...

I'm not sure what is more fun.....having a baby spit up all over you 20 times a day or having three loads of laundry to put away.  Perhaps Lawson's spitty-ness is the reason he's in the 10th percentile for weight.  Not sure the reason...I do know that if he doesn't pack some meat on his bones by summer, he won't have a prayer of fitting into any of Carter's old clothes.  I think Carter was wearing 18 month sizes when he was 9 months old.  Lawson is still wearing a few 3 month sizes.  He certainly does his share in contributing to the laundry these days.

I'm not sure what is more fun....having your refrigerator break and being "fridge-less" for most of the week, or having Sienna skip her nap multiple days this week.  Yes, that sorry fridge finally bit the dust and I'm not at all sorry to see it go.  However, NOT having it around does make you appreciate having a refrigerator SO much.  We were very lucky to have some freezer space in our basement freezer and cold weather to store everything else either on the deck in the snow or in the garage.   It is totally NOT fun cooking meals for 5 people though when you are constantly running back and forth from the garage to the kitchen to get the ingredients.  "Oh you want ketchup on that burger?  Hang on while I go dig it out of the snow for you!"  Really hoping our new one will be here tomorrow!!!!  I might just hug it...  And yes, to top off the additional stress of not having my food in the kitchen, Sienna has chosen this week to start skipping naps again.  She is the most strong-willed child in the universe, I am convinced.

Yesterday, Carter came downstairs and after he'd been awake for about 15 minutes, turned to me and said, "What happened to my tooth?"  It had been extremely loose when he went to bed and when he got up it was gone.  We went up and sure enough, there is was in the middle of his bed.  So he was super-excited about that and he and Reese both set to work writing letters to the Tooth Fairy.  "Wut do you do with the teeth?" was the question they both asked.  I made sure to give them a reply last night and told them she was building a huge tooth castle with them.  Man, this kid really knows how to make tooth-loss interesting!  When I was a kid, mine all fell out the "normal" way.  Carter has now swallowed two, lost one on Christmas Eve, and lost one in bed overnight.

His Eye is On the Sparrow...

When I was younger, I can vividly remember sitting in church one Sunday.  A young boy came up on stage to sing and I marveled as he belted out, acapella, the words to "His Eye is on the Sparrow."  Such a beautiful song, with a beautiful message and sung by one so innocent.  It's just one of those memories, one of those moments that will stick with me forever.  I've never been able to find a rendition that comes even close to the quality of his.

This past week, I was reading in Luke 12:6-7 which says
6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29 also says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care."

How Great is God's care for us.  As a parent...no as a human being, I am so tempted to worry about every little thing.  But how and why do we spend so much of our time whittling away in worry when we read a passage like this?  Not even the sparrows, birds so common we hardly even take notice of them, are forgotten by God.

My pastor said something a few weeks back that has resonated with me in the weeks since.  He said that "Worry is just a mild form of atheism."  Talk about convicting....talk about an eye-opener.  How much does my worry distract me from my focus on God and His provision for me?  Do I let it get to the point where it actually draws me away from God?

When I see a sparrow now, I will always remember these verses...and I will remember how much He cares for me and that He is watching over me all the time...

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

1. Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
   Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
   When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
   • Refrain:
     I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
     For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
2. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
   And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
   Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
3. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
   When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
   I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
   His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

The "S" Factor

I used to watch this silly show called the Jaime Kennedy Experiment...something like a modern day Candid Camera.  He would disguise himself and put people through all these ridiculous over-the-top scenarios and then tell them at the end of it, "You've been X'd"

I feel some days like I'm living my whole day in one of those over-the-top experiences...and I'm just waiting for someone to jump out of one of my closets and yell..."You've been X'd!!!"  Or in my case, "You've been S'd"...that's the SIENNA Factor.

I know, it seems like I pick on her an awful lot, but she still manages to be the most difficult child in this home, hands down, for 2+ years running.

She is my EVERY morning, screaming at the top of her lungs alarm clock.  And once she's out of her crib, it's no turning back.

Today was the day for the children to sing all of the songs they have been learning at Bible Study.  Derrick even came down with the older kids to see her big debut...and she didn't even open her mouth (except to shove her fingers in it) once the entire time.  But of course, the entire way home in the car she was singing all of the songs, one after another.

I told her when we got home that my dad would be there.  She thought about that for a second and said, "I not hit Pop Pop, he's a good boy."  Well, that's good to know, Sienna!

This afternoon I realized that my washing machine was running...with no clothes in in.  Thank you Sienna...

She asks for a drink and I give her a cup and she says, "No I want the OTHER sippy cup!"  I give her another and she says, "I want ICE in it!"

I read her one book before bedtime and she insists on having three more...even though we've just been downstairs reading books for an hour before going up to bed...

Some days I do think she's just seeing how far she can push me before I crack under the pressure.  Or maybe this is all some crazy reality show that is playing itself out and one day some guy will pop out with a big camera and yell, "You've been S'd!"

House of Cards

Yesterday I was beaten by a stuffed dog at a game of cards.  No, he didn't cheat...no I didn't let him win.  He beat me, fair and square.  My life has come to this???

I have now lost two pairs of gloves in the last 4 weeks.  I am resorting to wearing my cherry red stretch gloves with my purple winter coat.  Style-schmyle...I just want warm hands.  I'll wear my kids' gloves if I have to...

Yesterday was also Day 1 of Lawson's new sleep training regimen.  I put him to nap in his crib and he slept for a whole 5 minutes before he started screaming.  Day 2 of sleep training went a little more smoothly...it went something like this...I didn't even try it.  Hahaha...my perseverance is not my strong point right now.  Come to think of it I'm not sure what is....maybe my willingness to play cards with stuffed animals??

Sienna was watching some pizza dough kneading in the electric mixer this morning.  I turned my back for a minute and heard a metallic sound as she dropped something into the dough.  I turned it off and finally dug a metal screw out of the dough.  Oh Sienna....

Last night all three kids decided to go completely bonkers, running around like insane maniacs for about 2 straight hours.  The older ones were saying they wanted to skip dinner so they could "go outside and play in the snow."  (There was NO snow left outside.)  They were screaming...they were destroying the house...I was about ready to tear my hair out.  TODAY, when it had actually snowed...no one wanted to go outside.  Go figure.

Carter and Reese enjoyed ice skating again today.  They are really doing well with their lessons and I hope we can keep it up for the rest of the winter.  They are always really excited to tell me how many times they fell each week...it's getting to be less and less every week.  As soon as their separate groups were finished today and they announced it was free skate time, Carter made a beeline right for Reese so they could skate together.  It is so nice to see them sticking together, even unprompted.  Apparently I need an ice skating rink in my backyard...wish they would get along so well at home!

I think the kids realized after two days of beating us into the ground that they needed to work on their behavior a little.  After their bath tonight, Carter and Reese raced downstairs ahead of us and when we came down with the little ones, they were in the kitchen making a snack.  Carter was ready to plug in the popcorn popper and Reese was trying to peel an orange...with a nutcracker.  Derrick looked into the popcorn popper fortunately, to find that Carter had put in about three times the amount of kernels he needed.  So after slightly adjusting that, he plugged it in.  A few minutes later, I was sitting on the couch with Lawson and Reese brought me a bowl of popcorn and asked, "Mama, would you like some popcorn that I almost made all by myself?"

T-Rex Treats

The weekend has flown by with the usual intensity of a house full of crazy kids.  We did get out on Friday to the Natural History Museum, which was a lot of fun.  The kids love the show Prospectors on the Weather Channel so we thought they'd get a kick out of seeing all of the gems and minerals on display there.  They spent at least an hour looking at them and absolutely loved it, as well as the other museum staples, the dinos, the birds and the bugs.

When we were driving there, Sienna informed us, "I'm going to feed the dinosaurs with my cup."  Well, she didn't get to do that...she was too busy feeding herself and trying to dodge the museum employees with her illegal snacking.  She even climbed into Lawson's car seat to try and munch a few crackers.  

A tasty morsel....just kidding!!!!

Derrick was really examining the bugs in this case as they were all natives of Pennsylvania.  He's memorizing the faces of his most hated garden enemies so he knows who he's battling next summer!

Everyday Miracles...

I was reading the other day about how the Israelites were complaining about needing a miracle, while they were living in the midst of another.  They were longing for some meat in their diet, while failing to be thankful for the daily supply of manna, which was sustaining them.  This particular passage really got me thinking,

"There are miracles all around us all the time, yet it's so easy to find something to complain about in the midst of those miracles.  The simple act of reading involves millions of impulses firing across billions of synapses.  While you're reading, your heart goes about its business circulating five quarts of blood through a hundred thousand miles of veins, arteries, and capillaries.  And it's amazing you can even concentrate, given the fact that you're on a planet that is traveling 67,000 miles per hour through space while spinning around its axis at a speed of 1,000 miles per hour.  But we take those manna miracles, the miracles that happen day in, day out, for granted"  (The Circle Maker)

I am more and more convicted that I should be keeping a running tab each day of all the miracles I do witness, rather than wishing for more.  I've said before that the experience of conceiving, carrying and giving birth to a child is one of the greatest miracles I have ever had the privilege of experiencing.  But even then, it can be so tempting, just months after you go through that miraculous high of having a baby, to find yourself complaining about all the challenges that come with a newborn.  The messes, the laundry, the lack of sleep....  Yes, it's HARD.  Life is hard...no one ever said it would be easy did they?

Miracles can come in all shapes and sizes.  This week, Lawson chose to give us his first laugh and roll over for the first time.  Today, my miracles were when Sienna's teacher told me she had very empathetically offered a toy to another crying child in her class and gotten the other little girl to stop crying.  And when I got home, the second miracle was that Carter and Reese were busily working in their room, unprompted, to clean it very thoroughly.

There are sweet little paper valentines sitting all over my counter and tables throughout the house because they kids have been making them every day this week.  The love of a child, so endearing, so innocent, so accepting of me, even though I can be grumpy and demanding, and feel like I'm failing at this parenting alltogether...that's another miracle.

Trip home...

Well, to summarize the last 4 days briefly, we decided around 3 pm on Tuesday to go to New Jersey the following day...which meant packing for 6 of us in just a matter of hours and loading everyone into the car the next morning for the long trip across the state...the first time with four kids.  And really, aside from the horrible lack of sleep while we were there (THANK YOU SIENNA!!), it all went pretty smoothly.  Lawson did great in the car and was even sleeping pretty well while we were there.

Just as we were nearing the NJ border, I looked out the window and just ahead of us there was a huge bird trying to fly but being swept sideways by the wind.  As we passed by it, I looked more closely and was shocked to see that it was a bald eagle!  It felt rather fitting, for such a special trip...

This was a bittersweet visit for me in so many ways...knowing it will be one of the last times I see my childhood home before Mom and Dad take the plunge and become Pittsburghers... of course I am thrilled that they will finally be closer and be able to see us more often and more easily, but there is something so special about your "home" and it's hard to walk away and feel like you might never go back again.





It was a really special visit.  Not only did we spend time with Nani and Pop Pop, but Uncle Ed was visiting from Indonesia and I was also able to catch up with some other childhood friends.  My dear friend Kaiya and I met up with our 8!?! kids...we've been friends since 4th grade, were home school buddies, had a crush on the same guy for like 8 years...we've shared a lot of experiences over the years...including both having 4 kids, most within months of each other.

Uncle Ed was a champ at entertaining the kids, letting them string his rock climbing rope all throughout the house and even building them a rope swing in the basement.  He also brought them coffee and a little hand grinder from Indonesia and they ground their own coffee...then spent another hour grinding peanuts in the hopes of making peanut butter.  Didn't quite work, but they poured them over ice cream and loved it.

 I made sure I snuck out to take a couple pictures of the sidewalk before we pulled out...of course not without a few tears shed.  I know the memories I have of growing up here will never leave me...but still, there's something so very dear and special about a place that has been such an important part of your life for so many years.  Everywhere I turned, every room I walked through brought back different and wonderful memories.  It made me stop to appreciate even more what a blessed life I have had thus far, especially the blessings of a close and loving family.

Determination...

I would like to make this picture into one of those motivational posters you see in offices.  It would have the word" DETERMINATION at the top...with a caption at the bottom...Never give up on your dreams, even when you have to scrape snow out of the grass for two hours in 15 degree weather to make a tiny little snowman.  They even named him "Happy" after all the grueling work it took them to make him.

And it was a day that took great determination and patience to get through for Derrick and I as well.  We were reminded, quite vividly, why we really don't like to go out to eat tonight.  After Carter's basketball practice, we decided to stop and eat dinner at a nearby restaurant.  Lawson had just fallen asleep at the end of the practice after being awake for a good three hours, so we figured he would sleep through the entire meal.  But, he awoke VERY hungry just 5 minutes after we arrived.  So, since we were sitting smack in the middle of the restaurant at a table, I took him out to the car to nurse him...in the very chilly, dark van.    When I finally came back in, I was putting his carseat back into the sling and didn't even notice that I bumped into the salad dressing on the edge of my plate...which was a very large container and was then dripping all down the front of my jeans and all over my nice UGG boots.  (Let me caption this with the fact that these are the only really nice shoes that I own and Mom bought them for me last year and I LOVE them!  Wanted to cry...)  So now I am literally covered in cilantro lime vinaigrette dressing...I sit down to try to wipe it off myself, my foot, the floor.  Get up after going through all of our napkins to realize it also spilled on my seat so I had also sat in it.  I went to the bathroom to do some damage control.  By the time I got back Lawson and Sienna were both crying and I had yet to take a bite of food.  Sienna ended up on Derrick's lap and Lawson on mine as we both tried to eat our dinners.  Another 5 minutes and Lawson started to poop while he was sitting on my lap.  This was after he already pooped in the middle of basketball practice and Derrick had changed him then.  So Derrick quickly finished his dinner, ran back out to the car to grab the diaper bag, and took him to change him in the bathroom.  Another long 5 minutes later he came back with Lawson with a grimace on his face...the wipes weren't in the diaper bag and he'd had to deal with a poopy diaper and only toilet paper to clean him off with.  He went back in to wash his hands and I put Sienna on my lap to help her eat her ice cream that had come for dessert.  She finished up and we were getting ready to leave and when I lifted her off my other clean leg, I noticed it was now wet...she had peed through her diaper and it had leaked onto that leg.

We might NEVER go out to eat again...

It's a Wonderful Life...

While parenting young children, I feel sometimes, (even daily) I need to remind myself that I am not the product of my circumstances.  Putting it more simply...though the days are long and the nights are short, though my clothes are often covered in spit-up, marker and crumbs, though I often feel unappreciated, beat down and washed up...my purpose is not dependent on all of that.

I look at my life now, compared to what it was before children, and there are times I will admit to feeling less of a person now than I was before.  People say to me all the time, "I could never do what you do."  And usually I chuckle, because most days (no, EVERY day) are a struggle for me.  If ever you have the impression that I'm good at this parenting thing, let me put that rumor to rest. I'm not a pro at this, just because I've been through it four times now.  I've got NO CLUE what I am doing most days.  I just know that when the kids are finally in bed for the night, I have to dust myself off, take a deep breath,.... and get ready to do it all over again in a few more hours.

My purpose isn't in achievements, or salary, or titles I've earned...it's not in my spouse or children either.  It's not in how many "likes" I get in a Facebook post.  No, my purpose is to take what I'm given each day, like it or not, and be grateful for it.  My purpose is to look out for others before myself, to help wherever I can, to pray (A LOT), to teach, to learn, to love.  

Winter is always the hardest time of the year for me.  You have the dark, gloomy days, the cold, wet weather, and the sicknesses that inevitably hit (again and again).  But there is still wonder in the little things, there is still beauty when you take the time to look for it, there is still warmth, in the hug of a loved one, in the twinkling eyes of a little one staring up at you, in a home-cooked meal shared around the table together.

Every year, around Christmas, I catch some part of the movie It's a Wonderful Life.  It's definitely one of my favorites...and I definitely cry every time I see it.  And the message of the whole story is so poignant, so thought-provoking.....What would the world be like if I were never born?  Stop and think about that for a few minutes each morning before getting into the daily grind.  What difference have I made and do I still have to make in the world I live in?

It really is a wonder...this life we live.  Every day brings something new to discover.  Every day is an opportunity...what you make of it, no matter how mundane it may seem...well that's where your purpose is found.  God doesn't desire me to waste a single day, languishing in despair or obsessing about how I am EVER going to get my house clean again.  (however tempting that may be).  So I try my best to look forward to tomorrow, knowing that at times it will still be hard, but also knowing that God's got my back...that He doesn't want me to be discouraged when the kids are acting out or demanding more than I can give.  When I'm down on my hands and knees cleaning up a spill for the 9th time...I can truly say, "My cup runneth over."  I am so blessed to be "in the trenches" with my kids right now.  It truly is a wonderful, crazy life...