My Mother's Recipe...

Psalm 90:14

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy 

and be glad all our days.

I pulled out the little plastic recipe box I've had since childhood and flipped through my dessert recipes for an old and well-loved family favorite.  Every summer, growing up in New Jersey, my family would head out to the blueberry fields to pick pounds and pounds of blueberries.  Many years we'd buy 10 pound flats of the berries even after we'd picked 20 pounds ourselves.  We just couldn't get enough blueberries.  For those few short weeks they were in season, there was always a huge container of them in our refrigerator.  When we'd come home from picking my mom would carefully wash them and then spread out towels across our kitchen counters and table and pour out the berries in a thin layer on the towels to dry them.  We froze gallon size bags full of the berries and they would last until the following spring.  My first real job, when I was 12 years old, was picking blueberries for which I earned a whopping 25 cents per pound.  Summer would not be the same without blueberries and my mom's favorite recipe to make year after year was a delicious Blueberry Kuchen.  It's as simple a recipe as you could find, but one that is universally loved.



I've made the kuchen many times myself over the years and probably have the recipe memorized by now.  As I started to measure out the ingredients the other morning, the simple act of doing something my mom used to do put a lump in my throat.  I remember watching her make it, remember seeing her hands knead the dough together and pressing it into her dented, old spring form pan.  I remember the smell of it cooking in her over, and how she carefully selected only the largest berries and set them aside to pour on top for the final layer after baking.

I carefully slid my kuchen into the oven to bake and set to the task of cleaning up the kitchen.  Twenty minutes later I peeked into the oven to see filling bubbling and crust browning.  Memories came flooding back to me of eating kuchens with friends and family, eating kuchens late at night on our screened porch while playing games of pinochle, eating kuchens around our dining room table while enjoying conversation together.  If you knew our family and spent any amount of time with us in the summer, then you would have eaten a blueberry kuchen.  How could this simple dessert evoke so many strong memories?  How could things have changed so much in such a short period of time?  And the most heart wrenching thing is, my mom doesn't remember any of this anymore.  God, how can this be that you've taken even these simple joys away from her?  It just doesn't seem fair or right or possible. 


I pulled the kuchen, perfectly cooked, out of the oven to cool.  I had my measuring cup on the counter with 2 more cups of blueberries set aside for the final layer.  I had chosen the largest berries for this layer, just as mom used to do.  I poured the berries over the still-bubbling filling and could sense that this was exactly what Mom was always trying to teach me.  She raised me with the mindset of always doing my best, whether I was picking blueberries in the field, choosing the largest ones for a kuchen, or later in life, raising my children. She raised me to enjoy the simple things in life and not take them for granted.  She raised me to value a good work ethic, to live life to the fullest, and to always look for ways to serve others.  My mother had a joy about her that was contagious.  Kindness spilled out of her.  And most importantly, she showed me what it meant to show love to others.  My mother had a faith that was unshakable and she inspired me to hold fast to my own faith, even in my darkest hour.  My mother's recipe for kuchen is a worthless piece of paper to most but a treasure trove of memories to me.  My mother's recipe for life is worth far more...it is truly priceless.

I asked Sienna and Lawson to stand next to our largest sunflower plant today so I could snap a photo.  I think it must be at least 10 or 12 feet tall and it still isn't even blooming yet!  I then grabbed a single sunflower seed from our bird feeder and showed it to them.  Lawson held it in the palm of his hand and looked down at it.  "Did you know that the huge sunflower plant came from just one of these tiny seeds?" I asked him.  "It did?" he asked incredulously.

Isn't it amazing how God can bring such beauty from one tiny seed?  Isn't it wonderful how He so intentionally created this world that we live in to demonstrate for us, day after day after day, how much He loves and cares about us?  One seed becomes a blossoming, towering sunflower plant.  One wiggly caterpillar becomes a majestic butterfly.  God IS love.

What's your "recipe" for life?  What inspires you, motivates you, and carries you through each day?  I marvel at this world we live in because it is like an ongoing love letter from God to me.  In spite of the difficulties, the hardships, the pain I experience, I cling fast to the promises God has made to me.  I know in my heart that even when things appear to be very bad, He is still working for my ultimate good, because He loves me.

In the end, what I always come back to at the end of my very long days, is LOVE.  God loves us, and that love gives us a purpose and a hope and a reason to keep going day after day.  His love is the most real and unchanging thing we have to cling on to.  His love is more real than anything else we could ever experience.  If you're looking for a recipe to carry you through your days, look to God first. My mother taught me how to live and how to love so that I'd be able to carry on long after she wasn't able to be here for me anymore.  I hope to do this for my own children as they grow older.  Love is a gift that we are given, so let us share it also with others. 

1 Peter 4:8  

Above all, love one another deeply.

Psalm 52:8  

I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever.

Blueberry Kuchen 

1 cup flour

1/8 tsp. salt

2 TBS plus 2/3 cup sugar, divided

1/2 cup butter, slightly softened

1 TBS white vinegar

5 cups blueberries, divided

1/8 tsp. cinnamon

In medium bowl mix 1 cup flour, salt, 2 TBS sugar.  Cut in butter until particles resemble coarse crumbs.  Sprinkle with vinegar.  Shape into dough with lightly floured fingers and press into loose-bottom 9" layer cake pan - about 1/4" thick on bottom and less thick and 1 inch high on sides.  Add 3 cups blueberries.  Mix 2 TBS flour, 2/3 cup sugar, and cinnamon.  Sprinkle over blueberries.  Bake middle or lowest rack at 400 degrees for 50-60 minutes; crust well browned and filling bubbles.  Remove from oven to rack.  Sprinkle with 2 cups of blueberries.  Cool and remove rim of pan.

Ask Where the Good Way Is...

Jeremiah 6:16  This is what the Lord says:

“Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.

I took two of the kids to McConnell's Mill State Park on Thursday.  We were driving by the park entrance and I almost passed it by since we'd already had a busy morning and Eva was tired and cranky.  But on a whim, I decided to pull 

in just to show them the mill and covered bridge.  And I am so glad that I did.  As we drive down the canopied road towards the old mill, memories flooded back to me from the many times I'd visited the park in the past.  It was a favorite place to hike during my college years and I spent many an afternoon there, in all sorts of weather, hiking the path through the woods.  We pulled up to the mill and not-surprisingly, all of the parking spots were full.  (It was a gorgeous day and there are only four spots by the mill.)  But as I turned the car around, someone backed out of one of the spots...a tiny miracle, but a miracle nonetheless!  We pulled in and I took the girls over to see the Mill and the gushing waterfall next to it.  

Do you want to take a short hike, I asked them, half expecting an immediate "No."  But Sienna enthusiastically embraced the suggestion so we forged ahead into the woods.  I have hiked on this path many times before, but this time it was different.  The decade plus years that have passed since my last hike at the Mill have brought many changes in my life.  Lush foliage and moss covered rocks surrounded us as we hiked further and further into the woods.  "Can't we keep going?" Sienna pleaded with me.  "A little longer," I told her.  Footstep after footstep we plodded down the rocky path, admiring boulders that have perched precipitously along the way for centuries.  "How can that tree grow on top of a rock?" Sienna asked incredulously.  "Look at the roots growing over the sides."  Talk about a picture of adversity, of perseverance, of determination to survive.  I have felt like that tree all too often, clinging to life in an all-too-precarious manner.

Somehow, walking on that path that has been trodden by many thousands of feet before me was a comforting reminder.  It reminded me of the path God has for me, His specific plan for my life.  He longs for me to ask for and stay on the good way.  There is much to be learned from studying the lives of those saints who have walked before me and walking in their footsteps.  Too often I find myself trying to find my own way, to forge my own path...but that is not the good way.

God, please help me to surrender my will to you so that I might find the Good Way.  My feet are travel-weary and I am longing for an easier way.  Guide me to the ancient path so that I might find rest for my soul.  He gently reminds me as I place one foot in front of the other, "Ask."  Isn't that where all my trouble begins?  Isn't that how I find myself lost and beaten down and discouraged?  I come to a crossroads but I fail to ask for His guidance and His help.  Matthew 7:7 reminds me "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  

"Ask for the old paths, the paths prescribed by the law of God, the written word, that true standard of antiquity.  Ask for the paths that the patriarchs traveled in before you, Abraham, and Isaac and Jacob; and, as you hope to inherit the promises made to them, tread in their steps.  Ask for the old paths, "Where is the good way?"  We must not be guided merely by antiquity, as if the plea of prescription and long usage were alone sufficient to justify our path.  No, there is an old way which wicked man had trodden.  But when we ask for the old paths, it is only in order to find out the good way, the way that all the saints in all ages have walked in."  Matthew Henry

Untouched by Trouble

Our 15 year anniversary!!

I sat on my sofa the other night with the ceiling fan whirring overhead, and the house cooled to a comfortable 75 degrees from our air conditioner.  The 11 o'clock news was on and the weatherman was saying that it would feel "oppressive" outside that evening due to the combination of humidity and heat.  I scoffed just a bit at this description. "It's not that hot," I said to myself.  The next morning I woke up early to go for a run and I soon regretted that criticism.  A short distance into my run, the sweat began to pour from my body.  By the time I had finished running I was drenched and exhausted and very ready to get out of the heat and back into my cool house.

Derrick and I had been planning to do some fun outdoor activity like biking together on our anniversary, but with the extreme heat this week, we opted for a short walk in the park and most of our time spent indoors.

I was thinking about this heat over the past few days.  Naturally, if given the choice, most of us will opt for the cool of the air conditioning when the temperatures soar into the 90's.  But we aren't always given that option.  As we've now been married for 15 years, I can definitely say that we have weathered some very significant storms together.  It's easy to think, at the beginning, that marriage will be easy, straightforward, smooth sailing.  But one thing I've learned...about marriage...about parenting...about life in general...is that it is never a steady state.

The girls received awards for memorizing verses

July has been a busy and exhausting month for our family and I'm thankful for the chance to spend so many days enjoying the warm weather together.  I am particularly thankful that, regardless of how my days are going, of how crazy, unpredictable and tumultuous life can be, I always have a place to rest my weary soul.  Like that cool blast of air-conditioned air hitting my face when I go inside on a hot day, I can always find comfort in my faith in the Lord, and in His Word. 

Proverbs 19:23  The fear of the Lord leads to life; 

then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

Carter got to be in our annual Firetruck Parade!

Reese's 10th at Cheesecake Factory

I can rest content each night when my head hits the pillow, knowing that He is near.  Like the realization the other morning when I was trying to run in the oppressive heat and humidity, I quickly recognize that I don't have the strength in me to fight my battles on my own.  I am so thankful that I don't have to face hardship alone, but am sheltered from the brunt of it because God is walking beside me.  I still have moments and days that are very difficult...the nightmares still sometimes waken me at night, the tears still catch me off-guard during the day... but these difficulties only give me more reasons to be thankful for the ways I have been blessed and the ways God touches my life with His beauty and grace, day in and day out.

And Just Like that They Grew...

 I looked out the window the other morning and was surprised to see how tall the sunflowers had shot up in the backyard. They had literally grown and started to bloom overnight and the display of color was beautiful to behold in the early morning light.

Similarly, as we were singing happy 10th birthday to my daughter this weekend, I was amazed to see how quickly she has grown up right before my eyes.  How can it be that these days, months and years pass us by with such speed?

Often, in the day to day, I take things for granted...let moments pass by without appreciating all of the blessings surrounding me.  When I witness growth, it causes me to be more thankful, because suddenly I am faced with the reality of how fast things are changing around me all the time. 

Take no day for granted.

Learn to see blessings every day.

Overflow with thankfulness.

While everything is in a continual state of change, there is certainty and stability in a wholehearted faith in God.  He offers us solid ground where our roots can grow deep and wide.  He offers us everything we need to feel loved, to feel fulfilled, to feel joy even in our times of difficulty and sorrow. 

I pray that I might grow deeply into Him.  In an ever-changing world, I long for something constant, something I can wake up to every morning and hang on to every day.  He and only He can meet that need and leave me overflowing.