Unbridled Joy...

Joy....

we sing about it often...it's on so many Christmas cards...it seems to be part of the accepted "lingo" that goes along with the holiday and this time of year.  But what is Joy...what does it truly mean to you...and where does Joy really come from?

On Sunday, the church sermon was about waiting on God, about having the patience to go through difficult times and trust that He is still in them, that He is still working through them, and the faith to keep believing in Him and knowing that our blessing for believing and living in Him will far outweigh any earthly suffering we may have to endure.  The key point he was trying to make was that Joy is not something that is circumstantial.  Joy doesn't depend on the things that are happening around me, on people, on the weather, on finances or health.  All of those things are constantly changing...can never fully live up to our expectations and needs...can never give us complete and lasting fulfillment...all of them, at some point, will fail us.  No, true and lasting JOY comes from the Lord, from a relationship with Him, from an understanding of His Omnipotence and his Eternal Nature.  Trying to fill your life with the things this world has to offer and expecting them to bring lasting joy will only bring frustration and disappointment, over and over again.

There is something else about Joy that I have personally experienced in the last few years.  Joy is POWERFUL and has the ability to coexist in the midst of difficulty and suffering.  Even on days when there is great pain and sorrow, there can still be joy...because there is still HOPE.  Even when it seems you are walking in the darkest valley, there is still a joy that, though subdued, will never completely vanish.  The other morning, while driving in the car, I had tears in my eyes from the pain I was feeling, but looked ahead to see a gorgeous sunrise with beams of white light streaking through dark clouds.  To me it was a visual image of what I was experiencing inside at that very moment...the power of Joy to exist in the midst of darkness and suffering...a reminder of how powerful a God we serve and His ability to work in our lives even in the most difficult situations.

Psalm 126:5  Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. 

Isaiah 35:10   Those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away

John 15:11-12  "These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

Galations 5:22-23   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Christmas 2015

From remote control cars, to drones, to plasma cars, to Star Wars light up Death Star wall art...we had a fun-filled Christmas celebration with family, lots of food and WARM weather.  I don't remember a Christmas where we we outdoors in summer attire!  Well, at least Carter was.

Lawson wasn't able to keep the level of stamina of the older kids and was passing out on the floor in the middle of the gift-opening frenzy.  Poor baby...he wasn't as excited about opening his three presents as the older kids and didn't appreciate them all being up at 5:30 AM!!

Sienna proudly wore her new ice skates while opening and we desperately tried to get her to take them off before she gouged someone.  Only when she opened a new package of socks did she agree...and then put all 6 pairs of socks on her feet instead!





Carter got another 1,000 piece puzzle, candy wrappers, and is already almost 75% of the way finished putting it together!

Pinkalicious Skates

New Puzzle!

Yay for Pinterest!

I'm addicted to freezer paper stenciling!

Legos...always a fan favorite

Wishes

What's on your Christmas list this year?  I'm sure we all have a few "wishes" on our lists which is perfectly fine.  This year though, I have a heightened awareness of the "gifts" I've had all along the way in my life and the things that are truly to be cherished.  I was hoping to start a tradition this year, something Ed shared with me that was truly beautiful.  He was the first person to tell me about wish lanterns and how they are released during the new year celebrations in Thailand.  He also released them at his wedding.   I purchased some wish lanterns and we released them last night in a little remembrance of Ed's life.  It was beautiful to see them floating up into the night sky and off into the distance until they disappeared from sight.  

Part of me felt like the lanterns were soaring up to heaven to be with God...like prayers you could visibly see...taking our wishes, our sadness, our hurts, our longings, and our fears, right up to the Father's very heart.  If only our prayers could be that "visual" all the time...if only we could take them more seriously and know that they aren't just floating aimlessly in dead space but reaching the ears of the Maker of the Universe the instant we utter them.  

My wishes this year are less about "things" and more about people, about my relationship with those around me and with the Lord.  I was reminded of the beautiful words from John 1 as I was watching the lanterns float off last night.  "The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."  I was reminded that in Him I have an eternal hope, a hope that can never be extinguished no matter how dire my circumstances may be.

John 1:1-14

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was 

with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 

He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, 

the world did not recognize him. 

He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name,

 he gave the right to become children of God—

 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Grief...and HOPE

It is OK to grieve...

At times I feel guilty for being sad, especially around my kids. But I also want them to know that when you lose someone, you will inevitably always miss them from time to time.  I know that the raw and jagged bitterness will, in time, fade to more of an ache.  I know that this first year will be the hardest and most poignant when we come to milestones like the holidays.  I also know that God has spoken to me more clearly, more powerfully, and more frequently this year than He ever has in my entire life.  And there's something to that, I think.  He doesn't want me to suffer, but wants to bring comfort to me in that suffering.  

Allowing myself to grieve though also opens up a whole new perspective on life and the way I want to live it going forward. There is a certain sense of duty now...of purpose...of wanting to make each day truly count for something...of realizing that all of it could be taken away in an instant and not to take anything for granted. There is a new sense of thankfulness for all the things I DO have...God let me never lose sight of all that...

If nothing else is gained, I can at the very least hope that going through so much pain will give me a life long change in perspective.  I want to live with my eyes on the prize...I want to remember the "end goal" each day as I go through the mundane, same-ness of life.  I want to have a heavenly perspective, even while my feet are firmly planted on the earth.  

There is a new perspective to be gained when you are in that white-knuckled moment of desperation, of hanging on for dear life, of questioning if your faith is really strong enough to get you through even this.  Will you be strong enough to overcome even the greatest trials?  Probably not....but God comes to us in our weaknesses and at those moments, HE is our strength.  Remember

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10   But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There is NO OTHER NAME but Jesus....I've been listening to this song  a lot over the weekend.  That seems a very over-simplified formula for getting through life, but it's so true.  When you cry out in the night in your pain, cry out to Him.  He is the only one who can truly offer you Hope and Help and Comfort from the burdens of this world.  

Sweet Sienna

 Sienna has been driving all of us crazy lately every time we go out anywhere in the car.  We always have to lock the dog in her cage when we leave since she has a bad habit of chewing things up when left alone.  (GRRR!)

Sienna started to ask to let Hershey out of her cage when we got home a while back.  Then it became a coveted responsibility and the kids started to argue about who would let the dog out.  Finally, the others lost interest, but not Sienna.  She'd start to ask to let the dog out as soon as she knew we were heading home from whatever trip we were on.

Then, after a few weeks of that, she'd start to ask to let the dog out when we were leaving home.  Then after a couple more weeks, she'd start to ask to let the dog out before we'd even left home, sometimes before we even put her in her cage!  This was then accompanied by whimpering and crying to emphasize how much she wanted to let the dog out of her cage.  Now, pretty much every time we go out, she is asking to let the dog out for the entire time we are out and when we near home, she is full-blown screaming and sobbing that she wants to let her out, even when we are trying to reassure her that she can do it as soon as we get home.
This often-repeated episode has brought Derrick and I to near-insanity on more than one occasion as we try to reason with and reassure our completely inconsolable daughter.  This week we gave up, gave her the ultimatum, and just started telling her she's not allowed to let the dog out of her cage ever again.  This has not helped one bit...

Her other "vice" right now is her complete insistence that only I can put her to bed at night...and many other things during the day too, she will refuse help from Derrick.  Poor, poor Derrick.  She'll say right to his face, "I don't want YOU!"  I hope she will be a sweet and polite teenager who wants nothing more than to please her parents....hahahaha

This "sweet" little girl knows how to drive us crazy!  The other night at Target, I wouldn't let her push the shopping cart (after she proved unable by crashing into several displays).  When I told her she couldn't, she immediately started to cry and went boneless.   When I put her in the cart to pay, and her reaction was to take her shoes and coat off, just as we were able to go back outside.

Santa Night 2015!!

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!!

The kids spent at least 3 hours outside in the very chilly weather today playing in the "snow".  This clearly proves what a disappointing December we've had so far as it was barely a dusting...but they managed to scrape enough off the deck and from the yard to make a couple of mini-snowmen.  I can't say I want the warm weather to end yet but it would be nice to have a couple decent snowfalls for them to play in.

Christmas memories...

 I love the traditions of Christmas and making new memories together with the ones we love.  That is truly what makes the season so special.  At times I wish we made more effort to do these types of special things more often.









This week I was able to catch up with my Grove City friends for our annual Christmas Tea.  We paid a visit to the Natural History Museum yesterday with all the grandparents.  And tonight we took a drive up to Butler to see the Shadrack Light Show...it was awesome!

Little Miracles...

I've been reading to the kids from Charlotte's Web for a couple of weeks now and they LOVE it.  It's great to see them enjoying a classic that I enjoyed when I was their age.

I read one passage today that I thought was really touching.  Fern's mother is concerned that she spends all her time in the barn with the animals and goes to see the good doctor to ask his opinion and whether he thinks she is OK.

"Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider's web?"
"Oh, no," said Dr. Dorian.  "I don't understand it.  But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place.  When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle.  But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle."
"What's miraculous about a spider's web?" said Mrs. Arable.  "I don't see why you say a web is a miracle - it's just a web."
"Ever try to spin one?"  asked Dr. Dorian.
Mrs. Arable shifted uneasily in her chair.  "No," she replied.  "But I can crochet a doily and I can knit a sock."
"Sure," said the doctor.  "But somebody taught you didn't they?"
"My mother taught me."
"Well, who taught the spider?  A young spider knows how to spin a web without any instructions from anybody.  Don't you regard that as a miracle?'
"I suppose so," said Mrs. Arable.  "I never looked at it that way before.  Still, I don't understand how those words got into the web.  I don't understand it, and I don't like what I can't understand."
"None of us do," said Dr. Dorian, sighing. "I'm a doctor.  Doctors are supposed to understand everything.  But I don't understand everything, and I don't intend to let it worry me."

I read this passage and for whatever reason it stuck with me all day today.  Couldn't we all relate to this little scene at some point in our own lives.  Don't we all experience times when we don't understand something and we don't like what we can't understand?  And don't we also, so often, overlook the everyday miracles that are lying right beneath our noses, giving us a perspective of the bigger picture.  I find this is a wonderful reminder to take pause, especially during a busy holiday season, and observe the myriad of miracles that we come across every day.

You say WHAT'S in the closet?

Sienna was in a helping mood yesterday...which doesn't happen all that often for her.  Her moods typically range from whining loudly to screaming uncontrollably.  So, needless to say, I was appreciating the quiet and the "help".  I walked into Lawson's room after putting some laundry away in the other kids' rooms and she called out from his closet, "I'm getting all the hookers out of Lawson's closet."  Wait...what!?  Ohhhhh, she meant COAT HANGERS.  hahaha  She was taking down all the empty coat hangers and throwing them on the floor.

Dinner time in the Berad home has not improved at all...I keep hoping one day we can make it through even half of a meal without someone screaming loudly...but that has yet to happen.  Usually it is just Lawson who screams.  It is very odd because this baby is pretty much angelic ALL of the time.  And then you put him beside Sienna and he appears better than perfect.  For whatever reason though, his one vice is screaming all through dinner every night.  Lately, Sienna has been craving a little dinner-time attention of her own and has been demanding to be helped with her food and fed like a baby.  When help is not immediately offered, she joins in on the screaming which is oh so pleasant.  So Derrick is feeding Lawson with his free hand and I'm feeding Sienna with mine.  Will I truly ever miss this someday??  I think not!

Lawson learned a new word this week, which is very appropriate in our house.  He now says "Uh-oh' all the time and it's incredibly cute.  There are a lot of uh-ohs around here to be sure...

I see the Light

There is something so cheerful about Christmas lights.  Perhaps we appreciate them more because it gets dark so much earlier this time of year.  Perhaps it is the reminder of Christmases past as we drive around at night and see the twinkling lights.  There are so many memories tied up in the holidays.  Perhaps it is just the simple fact that light brings us joy...so much more than plain old darkness.

Light is powerful.  There is a joy each day when the sun rises to greet us and give us light and warmth. It allows us to see clearly.  It brightens our mood.  It brings health and well-being.  It brings life itself, to plants that we need to survive.  There is beauty in both the rising and setting of the sun, as it paints the entire sky in colors more brilliant than man could ever replicate.  Isn't it wonderful that both the coming and going of the sun, our source of light, is such a thrilling even to behold, day after day?

When things seem to be very dark, when times are difficult and seem too hard to overcome, we need the light.  Whenever I am going through a difficult period in my life, I tend to always feel more overwhelmed at the end of the day when it is dark out.  I don't feel the same heaviness when I am outside on a sunny day as I do when I am inside, in the dark, at night.

The kids are always asking me to go down in the basement and play with them.  I can deal with it a little bit better in the winter time because our options are more limited.  But in the summer when the sun is shining I will always say to them, "Why do you want to play downstairs where it is so much darker than outside in the sunshine?"

There are days, far more than I'd like to admit, that I'm stuck in the "basement".  I'm caught up on all the what-ifs and what-could-have-been's, and not able to focus on anything else.  I fail to see all of the promises of "what is to come," of "what will be," and to gaze into the glorious Light.

Light brings Hope!

I started my day yesterday reading this quote,

"Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances we know to be desperate."  G. K. Chesterton

There are so many references to light in the Bible.  The very birth of Christ was announced by a beacon of light...a star that shone more brightly than any other in the night sky.

And at the end of the day, my eye caught this statement on a calendar I have by my bedside,

"With Jesus, bad became good just as night becomes day - regularly, reliably, refreshingly, and redemptively."


Matthew 5:14-16  - You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Psalm 119:105  Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

I shared a special couple of hours today with some dear friends, one of whom is turning 101 years old in a couple of weeks.  A true example of someone who has lived in the light!

The Tree

 Today we took our annual trip to the Christmas tree farm to cut down our tree.  It was so great to be there on a sunny, almost-50-degree day too!  The kids had a blast riding the wagon out to the field and picking out what I think may have been the largest and fattest tree there.  It is massive!

Each of them even wanted to take a turn trying to saw it this year.  That lasted for just a matter of seconds, but hey, at least they tried!

And this evening the kids actually helped with the decorating...the tree is adorned with a mere 1,000 lights this year...ahem...thank you Derrick for that!  And the kids have got it covered in ornaments.  We are ready for Christmas in the Berad household!

Purpose in the Pain

Some days are just harder than others...it's like that for everyone.  We all have to endure trials at times and it is difficult when you are in the middle of a storm to see through the clouds.  Today was such a day for me, but the beautiful promises of Job 23 have been repeating in my mind throughout the day today:

8“But if I go to the east, he is not there;

if I go to the west, I do not find him.

9When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;

when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

10 But he knows the way that I take;

when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

11My feet have closely followed his steps;

I have kept to his way without turning aside.

12I have not departed from the commands of his lips;

I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.

The promises of God ring true for me most on the days I am hurting the most.  They bring me hope, even when I feel so hopeless sometimes.  Human inclination is to look to the world for comfort and explanations...but whenever I stop doing this and instead look to God for my reason and comfort, I hear from Him.

Puzzlers

Carter requested and received his first 1,000 piece puzzle for his birthday this year.  Today, we managed to finish it.  He claims his elf on the shelf, Rudy, put all the hard pieces together last night while he was sleeping.  Amazingly, not a single piece was lost, despite Sienna and Lawson's best efforts.

 Carter and Reese also enjoyed their last ice skating lesson today...in almost-60-degree weather.  There was some thick fog on the ice!