One Step at a Time...

Last week, I decided to incorporate some art into the kids daily home school schedule.  I thought they'd welcome something new and "fun" into their routine, but that first day, I was met with sobs of, "This is too hard," and "I can't do this!"  OK...I wasn't ready for that, but I also wasn't ready to give up.  Little by little, each day, they warmed up to "art" more and more.  Now, every day, they are coming to their desks and choosing to do art first, using YouTube tutorials to draw some pretty awesome pictures.  I had to laugh today, when all five kids were working on various art projects, in their free time, and having fun.  (I must say art rather loosely as Eva's idea of art is scribbling with crayon all over a paper, getting half of it on the floor, then taking scissors and cutting the paper up into tiny bits!)  How did we get from the crying and complaining just two weeks ago to this point?  I'm so glad we didn't give up!

In order to do anything well, we have to practice, and have patience in the learning process.  And we also have to be willing to learn, to be teachable, to be receptive to instruction.  Sometimes, breaking things down one step at a time helps us to realize they aren't as difficult as we first think.  It may take many attempts to master something new, but isn't it worth the effort and the potential risk of disappointment, to be able to say, "I did it!" 

In so many ways I can see this same scenario playing out in my faith walk.  I experience a deep valley, am tested with something that seems "just too much" to handle, and I want to give up.  I like the familiar, the safe, the easy road.  But, one step at a time, day by day, God gives me just the strength that I need to get through whatever that trial or test may be.  It is a humbling experience to be sure, to step out into that unknown for the first time, not knowing what might happen.  But doesn't this kind of test also cause us to lean in closer to God more than ever?  Doesn't it deepen our faith and reliance on Him?  And if we really stop to ponder all of this, isn't that the kind of relationship He wants with us, every single day, one of total dependence and trust?

I read Hebrews 12 yesterday in The Message, and there was something about reading it in that translation that really hit me.  It reminded me that Jesus is the perfect model for me to follow when times are tough, that I can learn so much from His example, and gain courage to face whatever seems impossible to me, knowing He already faced it and that He is ready to walk with me through it.  God pushes me to do things, to try things, that I may not feel comfortable with, that I may not want to do, and that I may not feel capable of doing.  The walk of faith is an ever-deepening one.  It is never meant to be easy. 

Hebrews 12:1-13 (The Message)
1-3 Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

4-11 In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

12-13 So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
 What is God calling you to do or try today? Don't back down from His discipline and training, but embrace it as an opportunity to grow even closer to Him.  You won't regret it!

In the Presence of Giants....

 December has been a whirlwind of excitement and morning sickness for me!  Yes, we will be welcoming baby #6 in July of 2020, and yes, perhaps we just may have lost our minds...ha!  But the excitement in the house is certainly palpable and we are excited for what God has in store for our family in the new year.

In the past few weeks, Eva turned 3 and is now almost entirely potty trained, Hallelujah!  We chopped down a Christmas tree and had lunch in a castle afterwards. We've made about  20 dozen Christmas cookies, watched lots of great Christmas movies, the kids decorated the entire Christmas tree by themselves this year...and I didn't even "fix" it (yikes!), the kids have hunted for their Elf on the Shelf with great enthusiasm every morning, there have been a few fun days of ice skating in the backyard, we've been reading the Christmas story verse by verse each day, we got to go to a Penguins game because a very generous neighbor gave us tickets, and this week we had an amazing field trip to see the Goodyear Blimp.  And did I mention I've spent most nights sick on the couch???

When I look back over all that has happened this month, it brings me such joy...because in spite of all the high and lofty expectations we put out there every year for what Christmas should be like, it never really goes down the way we expect it to, does it?  The house has been a crazy mess most days. My to-do list seems to grow longer and longer.  I guess that's why I'm trying not to put my hopes and expectations in a perfectly executed Christmas, but in a perfectly faithful and trustworthy God. 














Standing in front of the blimp this week, I was just astounded by the sheer size of it.  I couldn't even capture it all in a single picture.  I've seen it many times, over the years, flying in the sky, but never imagined what it would be like to stand right beside it, and even touch it!  And even there, right in the same room with it, I still felt like I would never fully be able to grasp the full magnitude of it...it was just too big.

Isn't that how God is to us...but so much more?  His glory extends so far beyond our horizons of comprehension.  His love for us is so much deeper than anything we have ever or will ever experience from anyone else.  His grace and forgiveness, again and again, are so incredible they leave us speechless.  But He didn't leave us to only wonder about Him from afar...He became close and personal with us.  And His humility, to come to earth as a tiny, helpless baby...to give of Himself that much for people who deserved nothing from Him...is absolutely incredible. 

At Christmas, we think of God in terms of His incarnation as a tiny baby...but let's not limit Him to that image alone.  He humbled Himself so much, and He wanted us to be able to grasp Him, to be able to be in the same room with Him and not feel overwhelmed, to feel like we could actually reach out to Him and have a close relationship with Him.  And when I think of this, I am truly speechless, I am flooded with a same sense of awe and wonder, that a God so vast and magnificent and perfect and powerful would do that...for me.  

How many people can say they touched the Goodyear Blimp??

This Christmas, whenever you see a Nativity scene, think about how the God of the Universe, too vast to comprehend, has made Himself accessible to you and me.  Born in a dark and dirty stable with farm animals, growing up not as a King but as an apprentice to a humble carpenter.  What better gift could I ever ask for at Christmas?  How much I want to abandon all the materialistic trappings of "Christmas" as we have come to know it so well, and put more focus on this one simple truth.  At Christmas, when you stand before the Christ child, lying in a manger, you are in fact standing in the presence of a Giant God.  May He flood your heart with joy and peace this Christmas season.  May you be filled with wonder at the thought of being loved so deeply and so unconditionally as He loves you.

Completely Overwhelmed...

I watched the other day as Lawson attempted to pick up four large balls and carry them out into the yard.  No matter which way he tried it, he always dropped at least one.  He started to grow frustrated...I could see the consternation on his face and I walked over to help him before the tears started to fall.  "I can't carry these.  Can you help me?"  Of course I could, and I did.  I grabbed all but one of the balls for him.  My arms were much better equipped for carrying them...it was easy.


I started my day today with scripture and a prayer that I might be able to parent my children with patience.  And quickly, I felt just as Lawson had with the balls...completely overwhelmed.  For a week now Eva has been sick, and trying to get the 5 kids ready and out the door by 9:15 to go to a field trip at a dairy farm was next to impossible.  Her crying and fussiness continued for the entire time we were out and did not improve until she finally passed out in the car 5 minutes from home, at 1:30 pm.

"I can't do this God!  Can you please help me?"

I was walking around the neighborhood with my mom the other day and was struggling to find things to talk about with her.  I remembered so many walks in the past and how easily we fell into conversation ...but now it is so very different.  I still have her here, but she is not able to communicate, to understand the simple beauty of spring, to even know her own grandchildren and daughter.  And it is heart wrenching.... 

"God, take this from me!  I'm not strong enough to carry a burden this heavy!"

This morning I read two Psalms that spoke to my heart...

Psalm 118: 5-6 says  "When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord:  He brought me into a spacious place.  The Lord is with me: I will not be afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?"

Psalm 61:2 says, "I cry to You for help when my heart is overwhelmed.  Lead me to the towering rock of safety."

I long for easy solutions and quick fixes and for immediate answers to prayers.  There are days I am tempted to throw up my hands and give up.  But that's just not how it works.  God is using these difficult days, where the pain just seems to mount up more and more, to teach me...to teach me how much I need Him.

And so in a sense, I can see Him watching over me, waiting for me to signal my defeat and ask for help.  And it's as if He is nodding His approval, saying to me with great love and comfort, "Of course this is too much for you to handle.  That is why I am here."

The Fountain...

Psalm 36:7-9 How precious is your unfailing love, O God!  All humanity finds shelter
    in the shadow of your wings.
8 You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights.  For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see. (NLT)
 I never realized, until today, how many beautiful fountains there are in the city of Pittsburgh.  Places I've driven past dozens of times, and missed because I was in a hurry.  But today, as we traipsed around the city on a gorgeous sunny morning for a tour of the fountains, my eyes were opened to their beauty and the way they truly enhance the city for everyone.

I never really stopped to think about fountains much before.  Water in general has such a calming and healing property.  The sound of it, in the midst of the noisy city, is almost startling.  Several of the fountains, when we were standing close by, were so loud that they drowned out nearly all other sounds.

Fountains have this almost-magical property of shooting out water which reappears over and over again...in an infinite and endless cycle of beauty.

I love to think of this as it parallels to the comparisons in the Bible of fountains.  The Lord is described as "the fountain of life."  He pours out life, for us, day in and day out.  It flows forth from Him in an endless gush of beauty and reveals truth to us.  His awe-inspiring presence drowns out the din and distraction of everyday life.  When we draw near to Him, we are enveloped in His beauty, His love for us, the peace He brings, an overwhelming sense of security and purpose.


I stand in the presence of the greatest Fountain known to man.  Here I find such intense joy, such pure love...He shines forth the light by which I see....

Nature's Classroom

Swainson's Thrush

 We took a field trip today to Powdermill Nature Reserve...in the Laurel Highlands of Pennsylvania.  We were so fortunate to see many new birds that we'd never seen or even heard of before.  The kids got to see the amazing process of weighing, measuring and banding these birds in record time due to the large numbers they catch during migration season.

Magnolia Warbler

Gray Catbird

 One of the staff members took us out for a short hike to see the nets they have set up all over the Reserve...67 nets in all!  We saw a few birds in the nets that he removed for the kids to see up close.

Oven Bird

Rose Breasted Grosbeak

Tennessee Warbler

Cuckoo

 After the banding experience, we got on our boots and visited the nearby creek where another instructor talked to the kids about invertebrates that live in the water and all the special kinds of bugs that live there because the water is so clean.  The kids spent an hour catching many interesting insects as well as 1 fish and a lot of crayfish.

 Sienna caught the largest crayfish of all.  She did NOT want to part with it at the end of the class and was in tears about letting him go.  The instructor was kind enough to let her bring it back to the nature center with us so she could release it in their indoor stream exhibit.  I hope he enjoys his new home!

To the Point...

 The kids and I enjoyed a fun, and incredibly exhausting day, visiting Point State Park and the Ft. Pitt Museum for Home School Day.  We rode the subway over, which was an added treat for them, had a picnic in the park, and managed to keep Lawson from jumping into the fountain and river while down at the Point.  I guess he was hot and the water looked refreshing!

Ready....Aim....FIRE!

We got to see a rifle and musket demonstration outside the museum, which the kids really enjoyed and inside we learned some history about the Point that was quite fascinating.  After we finished there, I walked the kids over to Derrick's building so they could see his office.  They LOVED looking out from the 21st floor and the view it afforded of the city.  They also loved riding the "fast" elevator.  Reese asked me tonight if we could go again tomorrow...sorry, Reese...I can only handle a trip like that about once every 4 years!!