Glory-Strength

 My forehead is furrowed, fists are clenched tightly, and stomach is all in knots.  I'm experiencing one of those moments in my day where the kids are all fighting, the baby is crying, and I just want to join in crying too!  Can't you all see that life is hard enough right now without you adding to the stress?  Can't you all just get along?  Haha, if only they could be reasoned with so easily!

Within minutes, the fight dissipates, the baby settles...all is at peace in the world again. Lord give me Glory-Strength when these trials arise.  Give me the kind of strength that results in joy.

Watching the interactions of my children is like a microcosm of what happens outside our home on a much large scale.  Like their "problems" that come and go, I can comparatively see my greater trials and tests in a new perspective.  I'm given this unique opportunity to parent and watch them mature and grow - and this then gives me a better picture of what I look like to my own Father, God.

So what does it mean to have Glory Strength? 

 It would appear, when I read this passage from Colossians, that the very things I think of when I envision strength are to be abandoned.  It seems to me that glory strength is not something you achieve overnight...if it can be achieved at all.  It seems like it is more an act of surrender, a realization that I cannot endure the trials and tests of life on my own.  Glory strength is infused into me when I do finally surrender my will and my way over to Him...and the result is JOY.  The joy comes naturally, a wave of relief washes over me because suddenly the crushing burden has been lifted.

I relax my clenched jaw, stop digging my nails into my palms...even dare to smile the faintest smile when the next tense moment arrives.  Life wasn't meant to be endured...it was meant to be appreciated.  He gives me the strength to experience and triumph in all things.  He gives me Glory Strength!

Surely the Lord is in This Place!

 There are the tiniest inklings of spring now.  Oh, how the winter has dragged on this year, even doling out our heaviest snowfall - two days into Spring!  It wreaks havoc on the soul, it brings weariness to my heart.  We even had an unexpected visitor to our yard for three days,  An Eastern Meadowlark, confused by the late snow, was desperately searching for some food.  He found what he was looking for in a patch of the yard that was cleared where the kids had been out playing.  I watched him hop around for those three days, his beautiful colors, striking against the snow...a reminder to me that surely, the Lord is in this place!

In the front yard, my tulips which have been struggling against the cold, are growing bit by bit.  After two days of sun, one of them is starting to open now.  This flash of color, this phenomenon of nature that seems to defy all odds, always brings me such joy.  Through the frozen and unforgiving earth, the delicate leaves make their annual ascent toward the sunshine.  These tulips were given to me by my brother, Ed.  Though he is no longer here, they bring me remembrance of him year after year.

 I struggle to discern the will of God.  The desire to know it, to do the right thing, to seek Him continually is there...but I often feel like I am falling short.  I struggle to make sense of His plans for me when I feel at times like I'm trapped in a  perpetual winter.  I long to make progress, to grow, to find relief from my trials.  And then, He gives me a glimpse of the road ahead, He shows me that though the growth may not come in a way and at the rate I perceive is right, it is indeed happening. 

Surely, the Lord is in this place!

Just like the powerful sun, the Lord brings warmth and light to my cold, dark places.  The void in my heart is filled by His love, the dormant state of my spirits springs to life as I cannot help but reach out toward Him, seeking Him and the comfort and strength He brings.

Surely the Lord is in this place!

I trust Him, trust in this process, trust in His timing.  I turn over my doubts and fears to Him and wait to see what will happen next.  My spirit rejoices in the revelation of His love for me.  Life will continue to be hard - a daily struggle - but I do have hope because...

Surely the Lord is in this place!

Take Courage and Do Not Lose Heart...

 Spring is here...though the deep snow we received today was not the way I was expecting to usher it in!  Yesterday I looked out the front window to see my first tulip, just beginning to open.  Now it is covered in 8 inches of heavy snow. 

The unpredictable and confining weather has certainly taken it's toll on the kids...and their moods.  They seem determined to get into every kind of trouble imaginable, and it is all but wearing my patience down to it's very last thread!

A few days ago, Eva crept into the laundry room where there was a box of sidewalk chalk that the kids had gotten out and never put away.  She opened the box and dumped some of the chalk into the dirty laundry basket.  I was not aware of this and never saw it when I threw the full load of laundry into the washer.  As I was pulling out the clean clothes I found one...two...three...four...five pieces of chalk. 

Little meddler

I ventured out to the library yesterday with the 5 kids...always an adventure!  It was (of course) another chilly day and I was desperately trying to give the kids a chance to get out of the house.  By the time we made it to the library, Eva had pulled both her shoes off.  I gave up trying to put them back on and just took her in with her socks on.  We had to stop at the garden center on the way home to pick up a few things and when I took her inside, I was a little embarrassed that now she not only had no shoes but also had removed her socks.  Well, I won't be winning any mother of the year awards I suppose!

As I was trying to work on some school with the kids later that same day, I heard a splashing noise and found her playing with the toilet brush in the toilet.  Well, you have to give her kudos for trying to help out with the chores...right??

We spotted this beautiful Eastern Meadowlark in the yard today.  I've never seen one before and it was really amazing to watch him as he foraged around in the few patches of grass that were showing, trying to find food.  To me it seemed an appropriate reminder...to be strong...not to give up. 

Life often throws us unexpected curve balls...snowstorms in spring... difficult days with the kids... sickness...discouragement... trials we never anticipated.  Reading a passage from Joshua last night reminded me to keep God's Word in my mind always...at the ready for any unexpected situation.  Don't turn right or left...don't be discouraged and don't give up!

                                                                                                                                                                           

Good Morning, God...

 Bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, I wake up to another long day.  I flip open my devotional and a single verse stands out to me: Psalm 143:8.  It warrants a second read....I let the words sink in and it's like a morning hug...

Good morning, it's Me...you know...GOD.  Here to remind you...

I  LOVE  YOU

How could I forget this?  How could I let it ever slip from my mind?



The very heavens declare it!  Nature cries out praises to the Creator.

I witness love, in human terms, every day.  Watching the relationships in our own family.  It's a beautiful thing to see people interacting in loving ways towards one another.  How much more amazing is the perfect love of God for me?  He offers an unfailing, never changing love to me.  Will I completely trust him with my life? 

Problems, pain, fears, doubts, sorrows crowd my mind, vie for my attention, my focus, my energy.  I can let them win, you know.  I can hand over my heart to be crushed day in and day out by these too-heavy burdens.  But there is a better alternative.  I need to be reminded of it all too often.  I try to take over, to fight the battles on my own.  Show me God, where to go, what to do, how to live.  I trust You.

Tomorrow I'll wake up with the same worries.  Like a tiny cloud that tries to blot out the light of the powerful sun, I'll look beyond them...

Are you ready to trust, because I'm always ready to love.  I've never stopped loving...never will...  

Yes God, I'm ready...I trust You...

Potty Cakes and Fancy Pants

We have reached a new and much-anticipated milestone in the Berad home...the completion of potty training for Lawson.  It was an event I long-wondered if we'd ever see.  It took him nearly 3 1/2 years to decide that he no longer wanted to wear diapers and then, overnight, he was done with them.  OH HAPPY DAY!  He even went out last week for over 3 hours and used the potty twice while we were at Bible Study.  As a reward for staying dry, I told him he could pick out a dessert at Trader Joe's.  He quickly chose a delicious looking chocolate cake and we went home to eat lunch and share it together.  After lunch was over, he excitedly asked for a piece of his cake.  I set it on the table and was ready to slice it up, but he stopped me and told me he wanted candles on it...and wanted us to sing  to him.  That got everyone laughing! 

Lawson was so eager to go to Carter's last basketball game the other night.  He decided he would dress in uniform, convinced that if he did he'd surely be able to play with the big kids.  A few minutes of standing on the court with the older kids towering over him during warm-up was enough to satisfy his desire to play.  Can't wait for the day he's out there playing on his own team.  This kid has HEART!

Derrick took the girls to a Father-Daughter night with their American Heritage Girls troop on Friday.  He was getting ready to leave and changed out of his work clothes.  As he was coming out of his closet, dressed for the night out, Sienna commented, "Dada you're wearing jeans?  Are you going to a wedding or something?"  You can see we're a casual kind of family!

Only the essentials...

It was a moment of desperation.  I was standing in the grocery store parking lot with a cart full of food.  The cold wind was whipping in my face, and Lawson was whimpering just to "get in the car."  This did not help my already semi-panicked state as I dug around in my purse for the keys.  In that moment I realized something, my purse is overflowing with things I never use.  I've got four tubes of lip balm in there, along with a bag of lollipops for the kids (bribery!), but the one thing that was most critical at that moment, my car key, was nowhere in sight.

One minute later, we were seated in the warm car...but this whole episode got me thinking. There is such an urgency to surround ourselves with all of the comforts and conveniences we can carry.  When I drop these "things" by the wayside and truly allow my focus to be on God, unencumbered, I finally find peace.  When I make my days more about Him and less about me, I have true meaning.

How often do we carry along a ton of extra baggage that only serves to distract us from the things that are truly important?  God's Word is the key to life.  Do I allow myself the time and quiet focus to truly study and meditate on it, day and night?  Do I keep it within sight at all times?

I don't want to find myself, trapped and desperate, when the solution is clear as day.  It's time to de-clutter....and I don't just mean my purse.