Contentment...

 I read a very thought provoking poem last week, written by a 14 year old.  It reads like this...

It was spring but it was summer I wanted;
the warm days and the great outdoors.

It was summer but it was fall I wanted;
the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.

It was fall but it was winter I wanted;
the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.

It was now winter but it was spring I wanted;
the warmth and the blossoming of nature.

I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted;
the freedom and the respect.

I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted;
to be mature and more sophisticated.

I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted;
the youth and the free spirit.

I was retired but it was middle age that I wanted;
the presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

As I found myself feeling inundated by my kids requests and demands and just the constant mess and noise in my house this week, I was reminded to STOP wishing away the place I am in right now and find things to appreciate, even in the chaos.  As I found myself longing for family members to be present for the holidays who are no longer with me, I was reminded to cherish the many wonderful memories I do have and to focus on making new ones with my family now.  We can truly always find something to complain about, but it takes a lot more resolve to thank God for what we have today and have hope in what He has in store for us tomorrow.  As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, I hope we can all take some time to reflect on what we can be thankful for, even in the midst of the most difficult days.

God Doesn't Give You the Ticket Until It's Time to Get on the Train...

I ran across this photo of sweet Lawson last night from 2016...and it brought to mind a quote I remember from Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place."

"God doesn't give you the ticket, until it's time to get on the train" was a line from the movie. And the meaning behind this is that God will supply the strength you need—just in time...

Today is my mom's 78th birthday. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease over 9 years ago, it was in the midst of one of the darkest times of my life. My brother had just passed away and I vividly remember a conversation I had with my aunt, telling her that I could not bear losing my mom as well, that it was absolutely impossible for me to accept that future for her.

And yet, here I still am, 9 years later....not because of my own strength to endure, but solely because God has supplied for all of my needs, just as He said He would.

It has been far from easy. My mom has not known me for over 5 years now. She is asleep almost all the time these days...

Last night I read 2 Corinthians 1:8-12 (NLT) and the passage spoke to my heart in a powerful way...

"We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through...

We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure,

and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die.

But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God,

who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again.

We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us..."

It hit me that only in these places of deepest suffering do we sometimes recognize our desperate need for God...we finally stop relying on ourselves and learn to rely ONLY on God.

And so while my heart is indeed very heavy today, I felt like God wanted me to share this message. He will supply for our needs, just in time. His timing is always perfect. And while it will often be very difficult, we can have CONFIDENCE in Him and know that He will continue to rescue us.

I Won't Waste it....I Promise!

 Our family took a trip last week to Bedford, PA.  It was a beautiful crazy-warm day for November, 80 degrees and sunny.  On the way we passed near the Flight 93 Memorial, which I have been wanted to visit for years.  So we took a little detour and stopped to walk through the site where the plane had crashed that fateful day, over 23 years ago.  

I remember that day all too well as my brother was living in New York City at the time and could see the twin towers out of his dorm room window.  I remember the events unfolding as I sat, glued to a television in horror...for hours

Walking through the memorial museum, there were photos and videos, recordings from that day, and several letters that people had written that day to thank the passengers for their courageous act, which saved so many other lives.  One such letter brought me to tears.  Someone who was staying in a hotel right next to the Pentagon on September 11th had written it.  He expressed how he certainly could have lost his life, had Flight 93 not been diverted.  At the end of the letter he said that the way he saw it, the passengers had given up their lives so that he could keep his. He ended by saying, "I won't waste it.  I promise."

How many of us live our lives with a sense of purpose?  Or do we allow our circumstances to carry us through our days and hardly even stop to think why we are here or what purpose our lives might serve?  Since seeing that letter at the Memorial, I have been very contemplative.  It has been a very exhausting few weeks for me as all of the kids have been sick again.  Life has just felt hard.  Driving past an electronic marquee the other day along a busy road I often travel, I found myself asking God to give me a word, a bit of encouragement to keep pressing on.  And immediately this verse appeared on the marquee, 

Psalm 85:12

The Lord will indeed give what is GOOD.

Just like the letter I read that affected me so profoundly last week, I have a choice daily to see my life as one that has been saved, redeemed.  I have been rescued from my own demise.  Jesus Himself came to save me, and to give me a second chance at life.  I did nothing to deserve this, but He offers this gift to me all the same, if I will only believe.  How often to I forget the sacrifices He made, for me?  How often do I appreciate all of the GOOD that God has poured into my life, and choose only to focus on the bad?

I have a choice, to not waste my life, to make it count for something more, something greater than just the here and now.  A price has been paid, my punishment was cancelled out, and I now have HOPE.

Today I read Psalm 68:10 which says, 

"What a Glorious God.  

He gives us SALVATION over and over, 

then daily He carries our burdens!"

He not only forgives us, but He cares about our day to day needs.  Daily...He carries our burdens.  Daily, He longs for us to be in close communication with Him.  

I read the life purpose statement of Jonathan Edwards this morning and it touched my heart deeply:

RESOLVED, never to lose one moment of time, but to improve it in the most profitable way I can.

RESOLVED, to live with all my might while I do live.

RESOLVED, never to do anything I should despise or think meanly of in another.

RESOLVED, never to do anything out of revenge.

RESOLVED, never to do anything that I should be afraid to do if it were the last hour of my life.

A great price has been been paid for my life.  God I recognize this today.  Help me, help me, help me not to forget it.  There is so much ahead to be joyful about.  Let me not take a single day for granted.  My life is so precious.  I won't waste it.  I Promise!