Seed-Like Faith...

How can such towering plants sprout up in a matter of weeks...from just one tiny seed?  Our garden (and yard) are overtaken by huge sunflowers this year.  We often have them coming back from previous years, and in new places, and usually I pull them out when they are just seedlings...but this year we let most of them grow.  And grow they did!  For a very short while Lawson was walking out every day to see if one plant by our shed was taller than him yet.  Now I think it is one of the tallest, probably almost 10 feet tall.

When I'm holding one small seed in the palm of my hand, it may be tempting to overlook all of the potential that lies within.  I may brush it aside without another thought, never realizing the beauty and joy it could bring to my days.

This is a message that speaks deeply to my heart.  Not to take the little things for granted.  Not to deny that a very small seed can grow into an enormous and towering plant. If I have but a meager seed of faith, God can take that and use it to grow and change me dramatically.  If I take that seed and cultivate it, allowing it to grow, the possibilities are endless.

Evangeline has taken great interest in finding puff balls all over the yard and blowing on them with great animation, relishing every last tiny seed she can spread in the yard.  We'll enjoy the "fruit" of all her labors next spring when the yard is overtaken by yellow flowers I am sure!

Oh the power of a tiny seed!  If only I could remember that when I fell like my life is spinning out of control.  Help me, God, to remember that it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains.

Matthew 17:20

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. 
Nothing will be impossible for you."

Coloring Outside the Lines...

This is not a post about my perfectly well-behaved children or our amazing day together which ran just as smoothly as I had anticipated.  No, this is a story filled with messiness, temper tantrums, of kids not listening, of spills and clean-ups, of picking up the pieces and moving on in a far-less-than-perfect state, of acceptance...

Life is messy.

Just take a moment, step away from those Facebook and Instagram posts of everyone smiling and looking put-together to let this fact sink in.  We don't like the messiness of it all.  We don't like to admit things aren't always, (most of the time are not) perfect.

This morning I let Eva use watercolor paints...while she was wearing a white pajama shirt.  And as you might imagine any 19-month-old would do, she made a total rainbow mess of herself.  But instead of becoming frustrated, a smile came to my lips as I realized...this is my life right now...it's just messy...and that is OK!

I'm learning, ever so slowly, not to lower my expectations but to widen them.  What I think is "Right" isn't always the best.  I need to let my kids experience the world around them, getting messy along the way.  Doesn't my own Heavenly Father give me that same freedom? 

Oh how quick I am to jump in and stop my kids from making a "mistake."  Sometimes, I need to bite my tongue and just let them experience...learn...and make messes.  Even some big ones.


My own life often seems less-than-perfect.  As much as I might strive for a clean house, an organized calendar, making it to my appointments on time, getting dinner on the table every night, keeping everything running smoothly and orderly...the reality is I can't do it all and I have to accept that and move on. 

Driving my minivan with 5 kids down the highway today, I called my Mom on the phone and was trying to fill her in about our day.  "Won't you come and sit here next to me on this chair?" she asked me, thinking I was not on the phone but actually with her in person.  "I can't Mom, I'm sorry...I'm in the car right now."  I was clenching my jaw to keep from bursting out in tears in front of the kids...keeping my emotions at bay.  Life is messy...

Widen those expectations...remember life isn't perfect...it's messy here on earth.  Remember too that God knows all of this, and He cares.  He understands our struggles.  He wants us to learn and grow stronger through them.  And He wants us, more than anything else, to turn to Him for help every day.  He pursues me, even in my messiness...He is preparing a place for me in Heaven someday...a place that is perfect.

Sometimes I have to step back and just let my kids color outside the lines from time to time, realizing that my own life is not always defined by the boundaries I self-impose... I can't and I won't understand the messiness at times, and it is in those moments where I must quietly look away from the mess and turn my eyes heavenward...

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

9 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Full...but Empty...

I stepped out onto the deck the other day to find Lawson, sitting down with a jar of bubbles and a bubble wand.  His face was a picture of consternation and he was blowing on the little wand harder and harder and harder, his face growing more and more red, but not a single bubble was being produced.  "These bubbles aren't working," he said to me in almost-despair.  I took the wand and dipped it into the bottle and tried to blow him a bubble but had no better results. 


Suddenly, a shiny puddle next to him caught my eye and I asked him, "Did you spill the bubbles and fill this up with water, Lawson?"  "Yes," he meekly replied. 

The jar appeared to be a normal, full jar of bubbles at first glance...but then I realized the contents were not what they seemed...they were in fact, worthless!  Thankfully I saved poor Lawson from more frustration and directed him to a large tray of bubble solution with a bubble wand, which he loved!

Is your life filled with activities and a never-ending to-do list, and yet you feel very empty?  Does it feel like something is missing?  Something much deeper...like you are going through all the motions but lacking true meaning and depth and purpose? 

Sienna and I enjoyed watching a large swallowtail butterfly flit around the yard today, visiting flower after flower.  She crept closer and closer and finally told me, "I think I can touch it."  And she did!  She was so excited when the butterfly let her hold it for just a few seconds.  I think often about these little glimpses of beauty...the complexity of nature and the delicate balance of the world we live in.  So much of this passes our notice day after day because we focus so much of our attention on "more important things." 

Are you full...but Empty?  Are you going through the motions each day but coming up short?  I hope you might take notice of all the ways God has demonstrated His love and care for you.  I pray you let Him into your life, filling you to overflowing. 

Apple Pie on the Fourth of July...

 It was a hot and sticky 4th yesterday.  We enjoyed the traditional family picnic, and finished up the day with some fun backyard fireworks.  I enjoyed a sweet moment shared between my Mom and the ever sweet-seeking Eva, who was begging for a taste of Mom's apple pie and ice cream.  This seemed such a "normal" and carefree interaction, considering the turmoil we are in the midst of right now. 

Later last night, I pulled out a folded up piece of paper my Dad had given me...it was part of what Mom had written down in a journal for her Last Will and Testament, from 2013.  What hit me was that she knew even back then that a storm was coming.  She knew and she wanted to let me know the things that she wanted to leave behind for me to remember her.  I felt like I lost another piece of my Mom last night, felt like there was so much I missed back then...so much I could have done differently to help her... She wanted me to have her camera and binoculars so that I could enjoy the beauty of creation as she had, particularly the birds.  She wanted me to have her bike...  These things seem small perhaps but to me it is a precious and priceless reminder of the vibrant, active, intelligent, inquisitive, nurturing and adventure-seeking person my mom once was. 

There is something beautiful and special about our family traditions.  The whole point of establishing traditions is to create memories together that we'll carry with us for a lifetime.  I have so many memories of the many July 4th holidays shared with my own family...and am passing some of those down to my kids now. 

More than anything else, I hope I can pass on to my kids...and their kids...a strong faith in God.  I can't imagine going through a storm this intense without the strength He provides to me daily.  People come and go from our lives, but we always have God.