Where Does My Help Come From?

I sat at my kitchen table, next to my mom yesterday....and I let my mind wander...

I longed for the conversation I knew we should have been having...about life with six kids, homeschooling, the approaching holidays, a new recipe I tried for dinner...about anything at all.  But conversation was missing.  It's been like this for some time now.  And I knew that it would be, yet it is still so incredibly hard.

These past few months, dealing with sick family members, a newborn, and a global pandemic have certainly been difficult, to say the least.  Last week on a particularly busy day, I felt lost, broken and very discouraged.  And it was then that God reached down and gave me a hug.  

Have you ever received a hug from God?  No, I don't mean a literal hug, but just something that came about that you knew came from Him, at a moment you really needed it?   Last week my "hug" came in the form of an invitation to hear a cellist play in a dear friend's backyard.  It was a gorgeous warm, sunny afternoon and as I sat there, the leaves were falling all around her while she played beautiful hymns, I knew God was near and that He cared.

Again and again in the past two weeks, He has brought verses from Psalm 121 to my attention.  Again and again I have read that chapter, absorbing the words, letting them soak in when I feel like I have reached the end of my rope.

Where does my help come from?  

A few days later, on a Sunday morning, I drove out to visit a dear friend of mine, a widow who is mostly housebound.  We had a lovely visit, and as I was driving home, enjoying the spectacular fall colors, it struck me that even though I was not physically in a church building that morning, that I had experienced "church."  My sorrow of not being able to worship in the way we once had was replaced with a new kind of joy in this revelation that, indeed, where two or more are gathered, He is present with them.  God reminded me, ever so gently, that sometimes, many times, my perceptions of things and how they should look are not in line with His will and His way.

Today was another day when I reached my physical limit, I was cleaning up broken glass while the baby cried, on the phone with my dad asking him to look for a Thanksgiving turkey at the store.  I hung up my phone and saw a text that had just come in from a neighbor who asked if I needed a turkey. She had a free one from work that she wasn't going to use.  

While some cello music and a free turkey may seem insignificant, they remind me of an ever-present Father Who cares about me so much more than I even realize.  He knows my pains, my trials and my sorrows.  He knows my physical and emotional limits, and He provides the help I need, ever single day.

God, I surrender my will to You.  I seem to get so bogged down by my circumstances every day and I overlook all that you are doing for me so often.  Help me to see things through Your eyes.  Help me to courageously press on in the difficult times and trust You to guide my steps.  Thank you for reaching down to remind me, again and again, where my help comes from.

Psalm 121: 1-2

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.