A Prize-Worthy Life...

A win is always exciting to watch.  We let Carter stay up to watch the Steelers game on Christmas evening. It was a nail-biting victory, after coming from behind for the entire game.  There was great uncertainty up until the final seconds whether they would win or lose the game.  When the winner is the underdog, or has to undergo a great trial, or has to come back from a great deficit, it makes the win truly more glorious.

1 Corinthians 9:24 NIV

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

What does it mean to live a prize-worthy life?  I've been pondering that for the past week as we battled our way through another round of sickness during Christmas...the dreaded stomach flu.  Talk about discouragement...talk about extreme fatigue.  There were moments I was truly in despair...moments the strength to keep going wasn't my own, but straight from the Lord.  This was a time, already heavy-laden with emotion as holidays often are...a time of reliving past Christmases and thinking about those who are no longer with us...

How, Lord, how can I keep my head held high when it seems like the odds are so stacked against me?
How can I race forward for that coveted prize when I feel like I can barely place one foot in front of the other?  How can I maintain the motivation, the focus, the drive, the perseverant spirit to press on and not give up or give in to discouragement?

 Psalm 119:32 AMP

I will [not merely walk, but] run the way of Your commandments, 

when You give me a heart that is willing.

I don't have what it takes on my own.  God gives me the "heart that is willing."  He gives me exactly what I need, when I need it.  He gives me the desire to run, not just walk.  He enables me to overcome my fatigue, my grief, my greatest struggles and gives me that desire to "win."

Philippians 4:9 AMP

 Practice what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace (of untroubled, undisturbed well-being) will be with you.

I love the Amplified version of this verse...His Peace offers us "untroubled, undisturbed well-being."  This kind of peace isn't shaken by the trials we go through...it is enduring.  

I long to live a life worth of the prize.  Coming to the end of one year and beginning a new one gives reason to pause, to look back, to re-evaluate, and to set new personal goals. With the new year, might we all find Hope in the One who offers hope in our darkest hour and might we desire to live a life that is truly prize-worthy...

Christmas comes quietly...

 Christmas is here...though it doesn't feel like it this year.  As much as I planned ahead and prepared...wrapped gifts and baked cookies...this year Christmas is drifting in quietly without much fanfare or the usual traditions taking place.  Everyone in our house has been sick on and off for a month and this week another wave of sickness has us pretty much quarantined from the world.  I haven't had more than a few hours of sleep any night this week...the kids are stir crazy from being trapped in the house for so long...I don't feel ready for Christmas to arrive...

As Christmas Eve comes to a close, I am thinking more about the real meaning of Christmas...the events that took place over 2,000 years ago that give us reason to pause amidst the holiday craze, to acknowledge the sacrifice that God made for us, in the form of a tiny and helpless baby...His own Son.

I couldn't help but dwell on some of my Christmases past tonight while sitting in church...of the way things once were...of the loved ones lost...of the grief I am carrying.  I shed a few tears tonight, just remembering...   I could not help but wonder about the future...what memories my children will carry with them from their own childhoods...what Christmas will look like 10 years ...20 years from now...how things will be different.



The message my Pastor gave was not the traditional Christmas story...but a message of hope....of love...of trusting in the Lord, even amidst great trials.

Fear not...

You are Mine...

All the frustration, the fatigue, the pain I have been carrying like a leaden weight across my shoulders falls away when I read those words.  I dwell on the birth of a Savior tonight...One Who knows me...by name...and calls me His own.

I think about the night He was born...there was no great fanfare, no eager crowds to welcome Him, not even a legitimate room for Him to be born in...just a lowly stable.

And in this humble setting, He came...love in it's purest form...giving up everything, expecting nothing in return.

He came for Me...He loves me...I am His.  There couldn't be a greater gift at Christmas time.

Comfort and Joy...

Sleeping peacefully...during the daytime!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4:12-13

This is the season that abounds with things that bring us comfort...we enjoy crackling fires, snugly sweaters and blankets, warm mugs of hot cocoa, and evenings spent indoors in the company of family and friends.  We sing familiar Christmas carols, many proclaiming messages of  peace, joy, beauty and love.   We bask in our long-founded traditions...in the familiar...in the comfortable.

But life doesn't always allow us the luxury of staying in these places of familiarity and routine and predictability.  I now find myself in a place which I'd affectionately call, "the newborn haze."  These are the most dreaded times for any parent...operating on barely any sleep...spending more time awake at night than cozy in bed.  And the days are long too...the demands constant...  In this place of nearly constant dis-comfort, how do I find joy?  When life is less than comfortable, how do we still find contentment and peace?  Does God care...does He see our struggles and really care about them?  Does He have reasonable expectations of what we can truly handle?

Something my pastor said in his sermon on Sunday that really challenged me was that, "If we had the power of God there are many things we'd change; but if we had the wisdom of God, we wouldn't change a thing."














My  personal comfort isn't necessarily paramount on God's to-do list.  As much as I'd like it to be, that just isn't the case.  But just because I am in a place of difficulty, of trial, of struggle, of pain, I should not lose faith.  God's infinite wisdom gives Him a perspective so much greater than mine.  He is working, even in the midst of the most difficult days and times.  He is shaping me into the person He wants me to be, in spite of and even THROUGH the difficult seasons.  Therefore, my joy is not and should not be contingent on my comfort

When I pause to do some real soul-searching, I realize that it is always in the difficult times that I feel closest to God.  I cry out to Him more, not when my days are breezing by easily, but when I'm gripping on that narrow ledge of sanity by the very tips of my fingers.  I can to All Things...  How many hundreds of times have I heard this verse and paid little heed to it's true meaning?  I have joy in my heart today...not because anything in my life has been easy or comfortable for the past two years...

I have joy because I Have God.  

Coming into Focus...

The drive to the hospital was a harrowing one. Every bump, every shift, brought on a new wave of nearly-unbearable pain.  The end goal of a soft bed, warm blankets, a tiny baby, was all my mind could focus on.

As I sat in recovery with those wonderful, warm blankets tucked over me, brand new baby on my chest. I could not help but think of another baby...born at Christmas time.




I thought about that Christmas night when Mary could feel her own childbirth pangs coming on.  Riding on a donkey at 9 months pregnant.  No hospital...no doctors, not even a bed . A smelly, animal-filled stable was their last resort...scratchy hay to lie on. Here the Savior of the world was born, in total obscurity and in the most humble and lowly of settings.


Maintaining our focus on God in the midst of all the pressures and distractions we face each day can be difficult...especially during the holidays.  At the very time of year He should be at the forefront of our thoughts, He is often pushed to the back burner.  Being with a newborn right now forces me to be very focused on only the most critical daily functions...Eat...Sleep...Shower...there isn't time or energy for much else.  Perhaps I should apply so much focus to my walk with the Lord...realizing there really isn't anything in life that deserves the kind of attention and devotion and time commitment that He does.

Jeremiah 9:24 ~ "Let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.  For in these I delight," says the Lord.


When I fully understand and KNOW God, I can't help but keep Him in focus.  I look at my new baby and am speechless that He exercised that kind of love for me...that He went so far as to send His own Son...for ME!  And in the form of one so completely and totally helpless. That kind of vulnerability...that kind of humility, is mind-blowing...coming from the Creator of the Universe!  He delights in showing me love...I stopped to think about that this morning.  The pressures, the stress, everything else seemed to fade into the background as that fact soaked in.









May you take some time also, as we near the Christmas holiday, to redirect your thoughts toward Him...to appreciate all that He has done...continues to do...for you.  May you truly Know Him...and Understand what it means to be loved by Him.

She Bears Good News...

  Four years ago, while lying on the couch with then newborn Sienna, I happened to watch part of a documentary on Harriet Beecher Stowe.  I was fascinated by her story and decided to read her novel, Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I finished during the many hours of nursing a tiny baby.  The book was so gripping...the characters drew me in...the story was heart-wrenching.  One character in particular tugged at my heart, and this was the little girl, Evangeline.  I loved her compassion, her kindness, her love for everyone she encountered, her faith...the way she ministered to, encouraged and loved "Tom".  Her plight brought me to tears and I knew after reading the book that if I ever had another daughter, that would be her name.

A month ago, I looked up the meaning of the name Evangeline and was delighted to see it meant "the bearer of good news."  In a season where my family has had to deal with SO much bad news, I cannot help but feel the depth and significance of this new blessing so much more potently.  Her middle name is Ruth, which was my dear grandmother's name.  Ruth means "compassionate friend."  I hope that her namesake is what she will indeed live up to...a woman who will spread good news to the world around her while she offers compassion and friendship to others.

In these first days we have had with her, I have watched my other children embrace her with great big smiles and open arms.  I feel a joy, so much deeper than I have felt for a long time...experiencing again for the fifth time now the miracle of childbirth....the instant of transitioning from the most excruciating pain to the most intense joy for a new life.



We are excited to welcome little Evangeline into our family this week...such wonderful "good news" indeed!

Good Medicine...

"Come and take your medicine!"

Ah, a phrase I dread all year long...one that always seems to plague us over some major holiday or during the entire winter.  This year, it was Thanksgiving that was sabotaged by all four kids being sick and then passing it on to me.  39 weeks pregnant and sick...oh what fun!

No one in my house likes to take medicine...well except for the perpetually (even-while-sick) happy Lawson, who cheerfully gulps his down and immediately, enthusiastically asks for "more???".

As much as I hate administering medicine, I am so thankful for it when we truly need it.  You gain a new perspective on the awful-tasting stuff when you have multiple sick kids who are in misery and you observe what effect it has on them.  After this long stretch of illness in the family, I read a verse the other morning that touched my heart...Proverbs 17:22.

How can I have a cheerful heart...even on the difficult days?   What steps can I take to opt for optimism rather than focus on the problems in life?

"A cheerful heart is like good medicine..."

The key is the heart...something that may seem so underwhelming...so trite...perhaps so forced at times.  Am I really expected to be "cheerful" right now, Lord?  Nothing seems to be going my way.  While others seem to walk an easy road, mine always seems to be uphill and covered in potholes.  

Be of good cheer... a message we hear more at this time of year than any other.  I haven't the strength, the willpower, the faith to conjure up this cheer on my own.  Flood my heart with cheerfulness today, Lord God.  Teach me what it truly means to be thankful, appreciative, to dwell on the good, to keep my focus and perspective in the right places, and never to allow a spirit of defeat hold me back.