The end and scope of life...

I've started watching a new show on TV for the past few weeks.  It's called The Wheel and the premise is very simple.  The contestants are placed in different environmental zones (tundra, rain forest, island, mountains, etc) and for 60 days they have to survive.  They are totally alone and need to live off the land with only a few basic supplies given to them...a fishing net, a tarp, a rope, a flint, and a knife. Every few days, a siren sounds and they are moved to a new zone and have to figure out how to survive there.  If they can outlast the other contestants, they win...but there is no prize...just the satisfaction of lasting the longest.

Last week, after surviving for 39 days, one of the contestants made what I thought was a rather profound statement.  He said that he deeply regretted the amount of time he spent on his phone, prior to going on the show...that he didn't even miss it during the time he had already been away...that as soon as he got home, things would change.  From here on out, he would place his phone in a basket by the front door and not let it be a distraction to him while he was in his house.  He wanted to focus more on what was truly important....his wife and kids.

Life is filled to the brim with distractions.  Everywhere we turn there is something new vying for our time and attention.  As I read Matthew last week, a verse I had heard many times in the past spoke to me in a new way when I read it in the Amplified Version...

Matthew 1:21

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [the Greek form of the Hebrew Joshua, which means Savior], for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God].

What is the true end and scope of life?  Do you often struggle with this as I do? Sometimes I need to get back to the basics, to step back from all the 'to-do's" and the distractions and just dwell on the essentials.




You're making a terrible mistake....I'm your parent and I know what is best for you...You may think this is good, but really it will only hurt you in the end...Don't lose sight of what's truly important....These things seem right and good to you for now, but they will never make you happy.


Can I let God be God?  That is what it all comes down to.  If I'm dead-set on making all the decisions, operating by my own playbook, then I leave little room for Him to dwell in and direct my life.

Philip Yancey, in his book Prayer: Does it make any Difference?, says this:

"Be still and know that I am God": the Latin imperative for "be still" is vacate.  As Simon Tugwell explains, "God invites us to take a holiday [vacation], to stop being God for a while, and let him be God.:  Too often we think of prayer as a serious chore, something that must e scheduled around other appointments, shoehorned in among other pressing activities.  We miss the point, Says Tugwell: "God is inviting us to take a break, to play truant.  We can stop doing all those important things we have to do in our capacity as God and leave it to him to be God."  Prayer allows me to admit my failures, weaknesses and limitations to One who responds to human vulnerability with infinite mercy.

To let God be God, of course, means climbing down from my own executive chair of control.  I must un-create the world I have so carefully fashioned to further my ends and advance my cause.  If original sin traces back to two people striving to become like God, the first step in prayer is to acknowledge or "remember" God - to restore the truth of the universe.  "That Man may know he dwells not in his own," said Milton.

Heaven forbid I live out my years on this earth and miss the true end and scope of it all!  Repeatedly, in desperation sometimes, I must kick my own pride to the curb and surrender my will to Him.  The giants of FEAR, DISCOURAGEMENT, DEBILITATING DISEASE, SORROW, GRIEF, MISUNDERSTANDING all loom over me and I say to God, "This is just too much for me.  I need to do this my own way.  You are asking too much of me.  I throw myself passionately into things that serve as distractions from the pain...I self medicate on the temporary and ignore the eternal...

But the truth is,  I can't do it on my own.  I'm too weak.  I fall on my face.  I get to that point of utter desperation and that is where I cry out to God again, "Be God in my life!"

User Error...

 I try to do a fairly frequent inventory of the clothes hanging in my closet, to see if there are any items that I no longer wear.  Yesterday, my eyes caught a blue striped shirt that I haven't used for quite some time, so I figured I'd give it one last chance.  I shrugged it on over my head in the pre-dawn, dimly-lit bathroom as I readied myself for another long day.  Throughout the day, I was tugging at the shirt occasionally because it just didn't seem to fit right anymore.  By dinner time, the neck was feeling downright uncomfortable.  Certainly, this shirt was destined for the Thrift Store bin.   I looked down for a moment as I tried to adjust it and...lo and behold...the shirt was on backwards.  It took me the entire day to even realize it!

 OK, so you may be thinking I'm not the most observant person.  I'd like to blame some of this on my lack of sleep and the "many distractions" running around my house 24/7.  There have however been other ...ahem... cough...cough... "Incidents"...if you will.  Like the time I had the parking brake on in my car and drove all the way home...a ten minute drive, without realizing it.  The whole way I kept thinking...something isn't right with my car.  Why isn't it responding as quickly?  Hmmm, yes...let's not tell Derrick about that one, OK??

The truth is...in the moment, while both of these situations were unfolding, I was quick to lay the blame on something else other than me.  I was ready to get rid of a shirt...ready to tell Derrick that something was wrong with the car...in both cases though, it was just...Me!

How often in my life am I quick to misdiagnose a situation?  How often do I look at a problem I'm facing and blame God for it...or question His reason for allowing it...only to discover later down the road that it led to something far better in the end?

The words of Isaiah...my thoughts are not your thoughts...came to mind last night as I was falling into bed.

How quick are we to go so far as to dismiss God, His Promises, His Word as true and relevant and vital to our existence just because things aren't lining up the way we think they should?

This just doesn't fit my lifestyle...it isn't comfortable anymore...it isn't working out the way I think it should...something just doesn't feel right to me.  

But wait!  Don't be so quick to dismiss Him...don't be so self-assured that you miss out on the greatest blessing in your life. Tonight as I was out for a blessed 1/2 hour of alone time, jogging around the neighborhood, I ran into a neighbor friend who I haven't talked to in a while.  I slowed to walk with her for 10 minutes and as we rounded a bend, we both looked up at the sky. There were billowing black clouds all around, but throughout the clouds were openings where brilliant beams of golden sunlight were shooting through.  "That's like our lives," she told me....she who lost a husband 5 years ago...I who lost a brother.  "If we can just get outside, it broadens our perspective on things." she said.

Indeed it does....

Get outside of yourself, your preconceived notions about life and God, your quick tendencies to blame Him rather than accept His plan for your life, regardless of what path it may take you on.

Accept....Trust...Submit to His perfect will.  Don't write Him off the second things go wrong.  Accept that there will be some user error along the way...we imperfect humans tend to mess things up pretty badly sometimes.  Remember that our ways are not His ways.  Learn from those moments when you are ready to give up and throw in the towel.  Then turn...turn to the One who has written the complete "Guide to Life and How to Live It."  Grab hold of that Users Manual and dig in to His amazing Word.  Revel in the knowledge that He cares about us and has a plan for all of us...

I have a plan for you...says the Lord...

God is with her...

I met her when she was a spry 99...feisty, elegant, and ready to share a word of wisdom anytime she had the opportunity.  I never expected to forge a friendship with someone like her...so many years separated us...such different life experiences...but over the months I spent getting to know her in my Bible Study, something beautiful happened...we became good friends...Miss Sally and I.

We spent a precious hour with 102-year-old Miss Sally this afternoon to spread some more love and be blessed by her keen wit and sense of humor.

God is truly the essence of this woman's being...the very fuel that keeps her going, day by day. She inspired my children and I today in so many ways...the very first thing she shared with them as they leaned in toward her on the couch was this, "I need to tell you something very important. If there is anything you need, or anything you are worrying about, all you need to do is say, 'Help me, Jesus,' and He will!"

She has such a keen insight into each of the kids and their personalities, from telling me to "mind that third child...she is going to need some extra attention and cuddle time." (Spot on!)...to telling Carter, "It's OK just to be you...you don't always have to be the older brother." She also told Carter, with a twinkle in her eye, a saying her dad used to use when she was a child, "It's better than a kick in the face." That got him laughing...

As we were preparing to leave, she told the kids, "You study hard in your schooling. Always remember that knowledge is power!"

Sally has told me many times how she still manages to live at home by herself, even navigating a steep flight of stairs daily to get to her bedroom. She comes down the steps in the morning reciting the Lord's Prayer...and she walks back up them at night reciting Psalm 23. As I pulled the door shut behind us, I looked back a little wistfully...wondering if I will see her again. At 102, each day is a precious gift and I know my dear friend will one day soon be gloriously joining her Lord in Heaven.

A friend shared Psalm 46:5 with me yesterday and I thought of it again today after spending time with Sally...this truly encapsulates who she is:

So many days are spent worrying about things we cannot control, feeling like we cannot get ahead, no matter how hard we try, searching for true meaning and purpose. I came away from this humble and unassuming woman today, re-energized and encouraged beyond measure. The words of Jesus "Seek and you shall find" seem to echo through her house. Thank you, Miss Sally, for your friendship, for loving me and my family, and for sharing your tremendous wisdom with us whenever we meet. We love you dearly!

Love Never Fails...

I glanced down at my wrist this afternoon at my only Valentine's Day gift...a pink, red and white rainbow loom bracelet Reese had made me.  Oh what a far cry from the "old days" of being wooed with flowers and special dinners.  Don't get me wrong...those things are wonderful too....but I wouldn't change this for the world.  This almost-decade of being a parent has taught me so much...this season of intense self-sacrifice has taught me, if nothing else, what it means to love someone.  What better day than Valentine's Day to reflect on what it means to truly love?  We say the word so much...to the point of exhaustion...but what does it really mean?

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 AMP

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Love never fails 

 I watched tonight as my mother held our sweet Evangeline...a moment for me of such intensely sweet joy intermingled with an aching heartbreak.  Here is a woman who gave everything for me...who greeted me in the morning on days I needed to wake up early by coming into my room and gently pulling back my curtains while she sang "You are my Sunshine."  I wish I could somehow pay her back now for all that she did for me...I wish there were something I could do to help her during this most difficult time...

Love bears up under anything...   but God why does there have to be so much hurt and sorrow...why this pain that never seems to go away these days?

Its hopes are fadeless under ALL circumstances...  God there is still SO much I have to learn....so much that I truly do not understand...so much of the bigger picture, of your plan, that I have yet to see...

It endures everything without weakening...help me to remember that when I am weak, then I am strong.  Help me to see you even on the most difficult days and not to take for granted ALL of the blessings you have given me and still pour out on me, day after day.

Love NEVER fails!  I will not be disappointed...discouraged...dragged-down... the love of the Father was first demonstrated to me by my own parents who loved me.  Becoming a parent myself only heightened my awareness of what it means to love and be loved.  And going through many trials and experiencing devastating loss has shown me that my hope...my one true hope is in God...

...and God Is Love.

 Jeremiah 31:3

Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting 
love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.

Dependency.....

The beautiful "Snow Moon" last night

It's just another typical morning in the Berad Home...little feet rushing down the hall...chattering voices beckoning me out of my warm bed to begin another long and exhausting day.  Meals to be made, laundry to be done, diapers to change, school lessons to teach, errands to run, rooms to clean...  When I look at my kids right now, I see so much dependency...so many needs to meet, so much time and energy and care needed to get them through the daily grind.


There are days, I'll readily admit it, that I daydream of a time in the future when my house will be quiet again.  I imagine what it will be like to wake up in the morning and be able to care for my own needs first, not the incredibly-demanding needs of so many children.

In thinking about dependency, I began to compare my role as a parent to my children to my relationship with God and how it is, in this regard, the complete opposite...He desires for us to be fully dependent on Him...for our whole lives.  He keeps us so close...He cherishes us...even writing our names on his own hands...

Isaiah 49:16 

See I have engraved you 

on the palms of My hands

He knows our weaknesses and shortcomings all too well.  He knows our human flaws and our inability to live life "on our own".  Surely He desires spiritual growth, expecting that we will mature and deepen in our faith over time...but we must train ourselves to keep coming back to Him for that very willpower to progress in our faith.

While I would never go so far as to cut ties with my children, I do want them to be self-sufficient someday.  I would never train them to "need" me forever.  No...my role is to teach them to depend on the One who can truly supply all of their needs.  No human can ever fulfill that role, only God.

Psalm 86:11   Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;  give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

What divides...separates...draws me away from God?  So, so, so many things...

How can I truly have an "undivided heart"...not letting the many distractions around me crowd Him out in my day-to-day living?  I must DEPEND on Him...recognize my human frailties and tendencies...tendencies to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, and to do all my problem-solving on my own.

It's not part of my natural inclination to be so dependent.  It's a need I have to recognize and accept over and over again.

Lord, instill in me a desire today to depend more on You and less on my own strength.  Remind me how much I need you and supply me with all that I need for whatever purposes you have intended for me to accomplish here now.  Amen.

Wounds that can not heal...

I've had my ears pierced...three times.  There's a fact about me you may never have guessed!  But if you look closely, you will only see one piercing in my ears.  As a 12-year-old child I got my first ear piercing, and after months of agonizing cleaning and disinfecting of my sore and bleeding ear lobes, I gave up.  The piercings just would not heal and my skin was extremely sensitive to any kinds of earrings other than ones with gold studs.  About 8 years later, I thought I would try again.  They were able to pierce again through the same hole and this time, they healed, though they are still sensitive even today to the types of earrings I wear.  I thought I would chance it and tried for a second hole when I was in college, but again, they would never heal and I had to let them grow in.

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in some very difficult situations.  Sometimes it even seems that our trials will never end, that we will never find peace again, that we can never possibly heal from hurts inflicted on us.

How do I press on in the midst of great suffering?  How do I go so far, as Paul did, to exult in my sufferings??  I can't say that this is my natural human inclination...so far from it!  I was reading some verses in Romans in my Amplified Bible this morning and love this translation of Romans 5:3-4.

Romans 5:3-4 AMP

Moreover let us also be full of joy now!  Let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.

And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.

When I'm faced with a situation that seems hopeless, where do I find the strength to go on?  Is it perhaps necessary to go through these prolonged seasons of difficulty so that patient and unswerving endurance can be developed?  The runner doesn't build endurance by going for a 2 minute run every day.  He certainly doesn't prepare for a tough race course by walking whenever he comes to a hill.  No, he pushes himself to run farther and faster for months leading up to a race.  He challenges himself physically, building up more and more over time.

I am realizing in these months and years of difficulty that when God doesn't remove a burden, I should not...can not view it as a dead end.  I can't react as if a door has been slammed in my face and retreat into pity and despair.

He will use our wounds, our difficulties, to shape us and prepare us 

for something much greater.

There may indeed be wounds in my life that will never heal.  I may never have what I perceive to be a happy and carefree life, but is that really something to be desired?  If being in a place of trial brings me closer to God, which I think it does, perhaps there can still be great joy, even in deepest sorrow. My human inclination is not as ready to turn to God on the days that run smoothly but He comes to mind much more quickly on the days that are difficult.  

I endure unswervingly through the longest of days, knowing with full confidence there is a prize waiting for me at the end of this weary road.  I look around me and see so many others on this arduous journey...God has given us each other to encourage along the way.  Therefore, press on, my dear friends...press on!