To Lie Down in Green Pastures

 
Do you ever feel as though life is getting ahead of you, no matter how hard you try to keep up?  The to-do list is growing exponentially, and it seems like there are never enough hours in the day.  Fatigue is your constant companion.  The ear-filling chatter of a world full of sorrows and demands and distractions overwhelms all of your senses and ability to focus.

Yesterday, I took a drive to the country, to a farm we had found, to purchase some meat for our family.  Driving down winding roads through open farmland was so peaceful, such an escape from all the things that crowd my days and keep my mind from ever finding rest.  As I turned up the driveway for the farm, I had to stop and snap a picture.  All I could think of as I gazed up the 1/4 mile long driveway was the passage from Psalm 23 where David writes of God, making us to lie down in green pastures.   

The kids have all memorized Psalm 23 over the past few years, so I hear it frequently as they recite it to me.  But I often fail to really meditate on the words and the true meaning of this passage.

As we have started back to school in the last few weeks, as summer winds to a close, as I am trying to figure out how we navigate in a world still battling a pandemic, as I am trying to process the atrocities occurring in the Middle East...my mind is so weary.  I feel so overwhelmed, so inadequate, so incapable of doing all the things I want to do and that I'm supposed to be doing and doing them well.

God stopped me in my tracks yesterday while I drove up that driveway.  He reminded me to allow myself to pause...to gaze into His glorious presence and just rest...

I took a bit of time to look up Psalm 23 in several different versions of the Bible today.  I love comparing passages in this way because it always helps me to better digest what the words really mean.

Psalm 23 NLT
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.

Psalm 23 NKJV
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;

Psalm 23 - MSG
God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.



That last passage..."You let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction"...how that hits me tonight. I've had another day...the baby seemed to need me non-stop all day, I didn't get anything done I'd intended to do.  And yet...there it is...He gives me rest, He cares enough about me to desire for my rest and my ability to refocus on Him.  

How can we find this rest?  Start by looking up...looking up and away from all the distractions and really seeking Him.  Last night a huge storm swept through our neighborhood and dumped 2 inches of rain in a matter of an hour or two.  After the storm passed, I looked out to see a beautiful sunset.  I grabbed the baby and set her in her stroller and we went out for a walk.  The air was damp and fragrant with that "after-a-summer-rain" smell.  It was a green pasture kind of moment.  A moment where all the cares of my day faded away and I was given some much needed rest.

Today, if you are reading this and feeling the weight of the world, heavy on your shoulders, I pray that you stop and find a way to refocus.  Ask Him to help you.  Ask Him to give you comfort, peace, strength, renewal of spirit, exactly what you need in that moment.  Ask Him for a rest that will restore you and put you back on the right path again.

When We Fall Apart

I had the radio on this morning as I was driving in to church, and the song "When We Fall Apart" came on.  As I listened, the words touched my heart so deeply and tears started rolling down my face.  It's funny...I just spent a difficult hour with my mom yesterday and managed to make it through without any tears.  Being "strong" is such a façade...

So much of life feels like a cover-up...not the reality that lurks inside of me waiting to catch me off-guard.  It's often in those moments where I'm alone...with fewer distractions around me and when I finally have time to think...

I've spent a lot of time trying to pray and trying to figure out how to pray over the past few years.  I've tried to appreciate the memories, focus on the silver linings, etc, etc... and today that song just reminded me that sometimes we just need to cry, and that's OK.  Life is hard.  Losing your loved ones is very hard.

God's been speaking to me a lot in these difficult days, and I wonder...I wonder...would I have heard Him as clearly if everything had been going smoothly?  Would I have taken the time to even think of Him, to cry out to Him, to dwell on His promises, and really cling to them as I now do?  Of course, sadly, I know that the answer is no...

This summer, more than ever before, I've observed that God loves me in ways that are sometimes subtle...using His Creation to speak to my heart.  Seeing my kids' enthusiasm over a single butterfly or flower brings me joy and reminds me not to overlook all the beauty that still surrounds me even in the pain.  

When I need a word of encouragement, He sends it to me...in a song, in a phone call, in a sermon, in a note I receive in the mail, in a verse I read.  It is uncanny how many times this has happened to me and I know it's not just a coincidence, it's God, coming through on His promise to never give me more than I can handle.  It's His promise to never leave or forsake me.  It's His promise to draw near to me when I draw near to Him.  It's His promise to love me with an everlasting love.  It's His promise to always direct my path when I'm seeking Him.

Today after the sermon was finished in church, the gentleman sitting next to me, who I have never met before, leaned over and handed me a piece of paper that he'd written two verses on.  Psalm 94:19 and Isaiah 26:3.  All he said to me was, "Young lady, God told me to give these verses to you today."  I didn't get a chance to look them up until I had left church and when I did my breath caught in my throat.

Psalm 94:19  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. 

How could he have known this is exactly the word from God that I needed to hear today?  Oh, but He didn't know...he just listened and obeyed what God laid on his heart to share.  For this, I am so so grateful.

The joy we receive from God is not a joy dependent on our circumstances that are temporary and ever-changing, but on Him, on the eternal and never-changing Lord of the Universe.  I feel so small and unworthy to be the recipient of His notice and care.  I feel so humbled that He makes so many attempts to break through my fog of indifference and distractedness and help me see...see Him, see what's really important, see that there is more to come beyond the here and now.  

God, I thank you, so much, for reaching down today, in this small, but very significant gesture from a stranger, to help me.  I am clinging to those verses as if I'd heard them shouted down from heaven.  I'm looking to You for that perfect peace that is not shaken, even in the storm.  Hold me together when I feel like I'm falling apart.  Amen