2010: A Look Back

How far we've come in just one year....

Reese eating real food...
Reese sleeping through the night...
Reese now walking...
Reese clapping, giving high five and waving bye bye...
Reese starting to talk..

Carter learning ABCs and basic counting...
Carter doing puzzles on his own...
Carter learning songs...
Carter able to undress himself...
Carter learning to use the potty...

Today was a very warm day and I asked Carter if we should take the dog for a walk.  His response was, "I don't think she'd appreciate that very much."  Ok then!

At dinner he asked which family member's birthday is coming up next and we told him it was Derrick's.  I asked what he thought we should buy him for a birthday present.  He thought about it and said, "Army men! And a GIANT cape!"  (He got both of those for his birthday.  His cape has a letter C on the back.  We asked him what letter we should put on Derrick's cape and he said, "W!!!"

Berad Christmas #3

We celebrated Christmas #3 today with the Berad side of the family.  The kids were very well-practiced in the gift-opening ritual by now and were practically salivating over the gifts as soon as we walked in the door.  Of course you know after the gifts were open, they were playing with magnets off the fridge, dog toys, boots, random Christmas ornaments...you name it...other than the toys they received.

Carter asked for help going to the bathroom as we were finishing up dinner and I was the lucky helper this time.  He told me he had to poop so I was assisting him with this.  As we were sitting there in the bathroom, I asked him if he was done and he said to me, "I have to poop a LOT.  When I was playing I sneezed a lot.  And when you sneeze a lot it means you have to poop a lot."  Well duh, why didn't I think of that...next time I'll remember.

Carter, Reese and their cousins

Carter received an activity set of all different Disney figurines.  I guess someone told him it was an "activity set".  Later on he told his uncle, "Look, I have a nativity set..."  Complete with a Buzz Lightyear, Ariel the little Mermaid, Nemo, and Mickey Mouse...oh good grief!

 Reese wore a new outfit today and when I took off her tights there was a ton of white lint in between her toes.  As I was changing her diaper she was quite taken by the lint and was picking it out.  I wasn't paying attention and when I next looked at her...yup you guessed it...she was eating it.  Oh...so...gross!

Carter got his first Nerf gun for Christmas and Derrick was showing him how to use it...aka...having way too much fun shooting various targets around the house.  Derrick accidentally shot Carter right in the face and Carter said, "Put Dadda in time out...you shouldn't shoot people in the eye, Dadda!"  Derrick dubtifully sat in the timeout chair and did his hard time for his iniquity.

Our Christmas

 This felt, in a way, like our first real Christmas.  It was the first one, at least, that Carter really understood what was happening and that made it a lot of fun. Seeing him come down the stairs this morning and run over to the tree...the look on his face was just priceless.  (Yes I know Christmas was 3 days ago but we weren't in town so we had to push it back this year.)

 We left some cookies for Santa on a plate on the kitchen table last night and Carter was very pleased to see that they were all gone and that Santa had even left a note for him!

 He was super excited to find some tiny presents in his stocking.  He loved the mini harmonica he received!

 Reese got right in on the action as well.  She really likes ripping paper...big surprise since she rips books almost every day.  So she is really well-practiced at it, I guess.  Sigh...

 Both kids saw the BIG present first and even though we had hoped to save it till last, that just didn't happen.  Carter's face when he saw that it was a Christmas train....priceless!

 We had to set up the train right away and both kids enjoyed watching that for a few minutes, but then it was back to the presents.  We were very blessed to be able to give our kids gifts this year and share such a wonderful Christmas together at home.

Christmas, take 2

 So our Christmas celebration is a little different this year since we were out of town on the actual holiday.  We decided to postpone our family Christmas until tomorrow.  Carter asked me several times over the last few days when Santa was coming and I think I totally confused him.  I mean, we were counting down every day until Christmas on our 2 advent calendars all month, then Christmas day arrives and I tell him... "well, we asked Santa to wait a few days to come to our house when we get home."

We celebrated Christmas Eve with my side of the family as they've done my whole life.  It was a wonderful time to see family we haven't seen in a while and reminisce about Christmases past.  We saw my aunts and uncles and Grandmom, the kids' Great Grandmom.  (She celebrated her 91st birthday last month.)  When I was a kid and we used to all meet and celebrate Christmas Eve in her basement, my Grandpop would always read the Christmas story from his Bible and my cousins and I would act out the story, complete with costumes.

Reese and Great Grandmom

Uncle Ed got recruited to help with the gift opening and set-up

Christmas morning everyone slept in fairly late (6:45 am...REESE!!!)   But, since the kids didn't really understand it yet, we took advantage of their ignorance and waited till around 10 to start on a few gifts.  They enjoyed opening the presents and helping everyone else open theirs too!  

Carter & Nori

 Carter got to meet and hold his first real, live bunny rabbit.  My brother and sister-in-law were kind enough to tote their pet bunny down all the way from New York City.  So brave of them!!  The kids absolutely loved the bunny!!!  Still haven't stopped talking about her.

We had a wonderful visit and got to see a lot of friends and family over the last few days.  Now the kids are sleeping and "Santa" needs to get to work hauling all the presents down the steps, er...um...I mean chimney and getting everything ready for tomorrow morning!

Twas the Night before Christmas...

...and all through the house,
the subwoofers were booming,
while grandpa showed Carter his new Play Station 3.

Yea, not quite the same ring to it as the old poem, but I never was much for rhyming.  Carter did try his hand at his first video game today and absolutely loved it.  I think he got a better score than my dad and Derrick, somehow...don't ask me how.

We visited some family friends today and Reese received a new bunny...she was SO happy!  Bunny is her absolute favorite thing, she calls it Baba now.  So to get a nice new one totally made her day.  Pure love!

Carter got to feed their cows....so he was pretty happy too.  He's never gotten this close to a cow before!

The "Stuff My Kids Won't Eat" Diet

I think I am adopting a new diet...and I'm calling it, The "Stuff My Kids Won't Eat" Diet.  Original...I know.  It is harder and harder for me to justify throwing away all the food that my kids don't eat...  Every meal, every snack...there are ALWAYS leftovers.  The more they eat, the more waste they leave behind...and my inner food conscience is screaming out every time I turn to throw another plate of food down the disposal.  THE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA!!!!

But really...maybe this could work for me.  I mean, if I only eat the stuff they don't touch at every meal, well that's an automatic portion control on my intake...plus we aren't wasting the food anymore.   Here's an example...my lunch today consisted of a pizza crust, some cut up avocado, a few noodles, half of a baked sweet potato from dinner last night, and half a banana Reese didn't eat at breakfast this morning.  Not too shabby.  Now the catch to this "diet" is that I don't eat everything that is left over.  I don't want to be eating all the junk food that they eat or this will totally sabotage my plan.  So no cookies, crackers, cake, or chips...  booo!

Now instead of making myself breakfast or lunch, I'll just wait till after the kids are done and see what's left over that I can use for myself.  I will not do this at dinner...got to have at least one normal meal a day still, right?  But at least I can maybe cut back on a little of the wasted food by applying this principle to the other meals of the day.  Crazy?  Yes!  Trying to waste less food is always a noble effort though, right?

2010 Christmas Card

With Love Chartreuse Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shutterfly Christmas cards

View the entire collection of cards.

I want, I want, I WANT!

I feel like I am often a slave to my children.  From the minute they wake up in the morning, until their heads (finally!) hit the pillow at night, I am all their full disposal.  It is incredibly exhausting at times and I feel like one or both of them is constantly demanding something from me.  I want this, I want that, I want a drink, I want something to eat, I want my truck, Reese pooped, Reese needs a new outfit, Reese threw food all over the floor...etc, etc, etc.  Some days I handle this voluntary slavery better than others.  There are definitely times I want to just tune them both out and pretend like they aren't there...which is never a good idea, by the way.  

Today they completely trashed the entire house while I was trying to pack for our trip and clean the bathroom...so essentially we are somewhat packed and have a clean bathroom while the rest of the house lies in ruins.  Carter HAD to go outside for his 20 minute quota and while I was dressing him, Reese ate his breakfast and threw a whole bunch of napkins all over the floor.  While I was reading books to Carter, Reese got her hair stuck in the zipper of their play tent which is currently filled with balls and sitting in the middle of my living room.  While I was on the phone this morning, Carter took my clean sweaters that were on a drying rack and was using them to mop the dining room floor...and Reese was trying to tear up more books.  It's been just that kind of day...again.

I don't know how they come up with so many ideas for how to be bad.  Is there a book out there that they have access to?  "The Complete Guide to Driving your Poor, Tired Mommy Crazy"  No, it's just built into their brains I am afraid and there is no way to re-program them.

A thought came to my mind though, as I was doing some deep-breathing exercises to avoid losing it...when I am so tempted to get frustrated and angry with my kids...I need to take a step back and think about how I sound to God.  I think my relationship with God is often a very one-way street kinda deal...heavy on the "I-Wants" and pretty light on the "What is Your desire for me's?"  Sometimes, when I do get time to pray, I am sure I sound just like one of my whining, demanding children...I want this and this and this and this...  So my conclusion is, I need to have the grace to listen to my children and not be angry with them...they are only human, after all.  And I need to remember how they sound to me and apply this in my prayer life.  Maybe I just learned something from my kids today...there is a silver lining to the chaos after all.

Carterisms

Derrick was trying to clean something today and Carter kept asking him over and over again, 

C:  "What is that, what is that called?"
D: "Comet."
C: "Oh like Cupid? Santa has Comet and Cupid!"

Carter's latest response to me when I tell him something, "If you say so, Momma."

Playdough time

She really likes shoes...any shoes

Making Christmas Memories

We have had a very busy week here, and last night was the much-anticipated "Santa Night" where Santa came riding through the neighborhood on a decorated fire engine.  Carter was hyperventilating he was so excited when the truck came into view.

Carter is in full-blown Santa Mode now.  He is so excited to make cookies for Santa and see what presents Santa brings him this year.  He said to Derrick the other night, "You are NOT getting any presents from Santa, Dadda, because you were very bad!"






A few other things he's beens saying:

At dinner last night, "Dat's Wadikalus!"  (ridiculous for those who don't speak toddler.

Today, "Dat's AMAZING!"

Driving past the Pittsburgh Convention Center today, "That looks just like Nani's house."  Then when we told him what it was, he corrected himself and said, "That looks just like Church."


 I stole an idea from friend Mama K and made some cinnamon/applesauce ornaments with Carter this morning.  He had a blast helping out...don't worry the large skewer is for poking holes in them to hang them and he was fully supervised!

 Reese "helped in her own way by spreading out the cookie cutters all over my kitchen floor.  You can see she had PB&J all over her face...this was Carter's lunch that she ate after she ate her own lunch.  Sigh...

Cookie Cutters make great toys!

Wearing my shoes

 I figured rather than letting my glass balls collect dust in the basement for the next decade, I'd use them in some alternative locations to spruce up the house.  I tied them in clusters just using wrapping ribbon...very easy and a nice touch...especially above my kitchen sink where I spend a significant amount of my day!

Hanging from my light in the Dining Room

Over my kitchen sink

Appreciating Change

Change has a way of creeping up on you.  One minute you're young and carefree...the next you are married, working long hours, raising a family.  Kids....oh the changes they bring to your life.  It's often hard to appreciate children, when it seems most of the time they are taking so much out of you...your money, your sleep, your sanity!  It is hard, amidst the stress, the pressure, and the long nights, not to sometimes wish away your kids childhood.  "If they only reach this milestone, it will get easier."  "Once he can walk I'll be able to do more with him."  "Once she is eating solid food, she'll be happier."  I find myself, almost every day, thinking this way at some point, because it is hard being a parent.  In the moment, it is hard not to get frustrated, to want a break, to want things to get easier again.

So many people are trying to turn "back the clock."  Our culture has such a hard time embracing change and aging and just the stages of life.   There are all kinds of gadgets, products and health foods that promise you a "younger looking complexion," "thicker and more shiny hair," "fewer wrinkles," ...  We want to stay young but we want our kids to grow up as quickly as possible.  


It is ironic that I started writing this post this morning because this has become the kind of day where I feel like my kids have knocked me down, trampled over me, chewed me up and spit me out.  It's been a rough one.  And this is just the kind of day where I'm starting to think, "oh by next year things will get easier."  But I've started to notice a few things lately that make me want to put a halt to this kind of thinking.  The kids are growing out of some of their clothes, Carter is graduating to new, longer books, Reese is starting to read more with me, Reese is starting to say a few words.  They are growing up, all too fast, and I suddenly realize how fleeting and precious these moments are that we share with them as babies.

I want to do a better job at appreciating the changes in my life.  I want to embrace the challenges of parenthood and accept that things are really hard as you go through the different stages, but remember that it doesn't last forever.  I want to remember that they are only little for so long and not wish a second of that away.

Let them eat cake

Eating in the Berad household is quite the daily ordeal (as I'm sure it is for most parents of young children).  I can't exactly call my kids picky eaters, because for the most part they are pretty adventurous in trying new kinds of foods and do eat some more unusual things like mushrooms, grapefruit, olives, pickles, broccoli, avocados, beans, etc.  The problem with my kids lies in the fact that from day to day I never know if they will be in an eating mood or not.  On some days one or both of them will just pick at everything I give them and barely touch it.    On other days, you would think they were sumo wrestlers in training they way they pack it in.  I'm really not joking.  Reese had just such a day this week.  She must have eaten at LEAST 12 meals...almost every hour she was literally begging for more food.  I don't know where it all goes...she's just a tiny little thing.

On the days they are both on food strikes, I do find myself offering them just about anything, in the slim hope that they might eat a few morsels.  (Animal crackers with peanut butter for breakfast can't be that bad for you, right?)  I'm sorry but when you've got two crabby kids on your hands who won't eat, even though they are hungry...well all conventional wisdom and parenting advice you've ever heard goes out the window pretty fast.  Today Carter is the picky eater and Reese is the sumo eater.  Carter ate 2 bites of his breakfast then left it on the table...so Reese climbed up and devoured it as if she hadn't just eaten her own large breakfast already.  After a frustrating morning of trying to get Carter to eat and not being able to feed Reese enough food, like any thinking parent, I decided to give both of them spaghetti with sauce for lunch.  Why??  Let's just say the kitchen, and the kids were less than clean after that.

Reese, in addition to being a fickle eater, is a food hoarder.  By this I mean that she stores up as much food as possible in her cheeks until she looks like a chipmunk.  The other night, for some unknown reason, Derrick gave her pumpkin seeds to eat.  And, of course, she didn't just grab a couple of seeds but a huge handful, which she stuffed in her mouth all at once.  I was oblivious to her little stash and about 15 minutes later was on couch reading to her when she spit out a big wad of at least 8 pumpkin seeds on the couch next to me.  Oh so gross.

On the way back from the grocery store today, we drove past the elementary school and I told Carter what it was and that someday he would be able to go to school there.  He was excited and said, "When I'm big, I will go to school there....and I will miss you."  (sniff sniff)  "But the school bus will bring me home and I will see you again."  So sweet.

Christmas lights

Occupied the kids after dinner watching a few of these tonight...Derrick wants to do this next year...
(Click on the video to view in You Tube so it's not cut off)

The No-Napper

 What am I doing wrong????  Seriously, what have I done to deserve two of the most active, non-sleeping children EVER!?  I know, I'm whining, I'm exaggerating, but enough is enough.  What do you do with a kid who simply will not sleep.  Reese is 17 months old, it's not like she's four.  Just this morning I spent a few hours with another mom whose 3 year old is still taking 2 or 3 hour naps and her infant naps 5 or 6 hours a day.  Are you kidding me?!?  Maybe my hair wouldn't be turning white if I got a break like that every day.  This week Reese has been refusing to nap almost every day.  She will literally sit up there in her crib for an hour or more.  She starts by chatting or humming...which soon progresses to louder noises and shaking the crib rail.  And finally, of course, she screams.  I have tried just leaving her in there...I feel like I've tried everything.  Eventually though, you gotta give up.  I thought that by keeping her up longer and waiting to put her down till 1:30 or 2 might work, but no.  I am so depressed....  (Reese is reaching the screaming stage so I guess my posting is done for today.)

Don't be deceived by this innocent grin - she's a little devil child!!!

New Discoveries and random links

Etsy Organic Soap - I found some great soap on Etsy by seller Noirliliana.  Paraben, Phlalate, sulphate and petrochemical free...totally natural and organic.  Heavenly!

S2H Wristband - So I read about this in Fitness Magazine just yesterday and ordered two replay bands last night.  It tracks your activity during the day and you can earn up to 60 points per day for 60 minutes of exercise.  You accumulate points, enter codes online and can win gift cards for all different retailers...sounds like a cool idea to me!

Chili and Cornbread recipes - not healthy at all but this cornbread and this chili were what I made for dinner last night and really hit the spot on a cold evening.  I also made this Black Bean soup...like the easiest recipe ever and really hearty.

Peak 8 Training Method - I started doing some serious interval training about 2 months ago after reading this article.  I modified it so that I work out for 30 minutes on my elliptical.  I warm up for 4 minutes, then do a sprint interval for 30 seconds, every two minutes.  When I get to 26 minutes I do the last interval and then cool down up to 30 minutes.  It works!  I weigh less now than I did in college...it's really really tough but so worth it!

Mother's Helpers are the best.  I've been using a neighbor girl once a week for just an hour, but it's so nice to get that break every Monday.  She plays with the kids and I do laundry, make dinner, clean...whatever is on my list for that day.  Yesterday the kids were REALLY giving her a run for her money and I heard her from the other room yelling, "Stop!  Stop the Madness!!!"  I just about died laughing.

Identity Crisis

A few years back, when Carter turned 1, I jokingly wrote a performance review for myself, judging myself as a new mom.  Ever since I quit my job, my performance is no longer judged based on the productivity of the team I'm managing, or the quality of work my employees put out.  No, nowadays it is based on things like how quickly I can change a dirty diaper, how many loads of laundry I can fold and put away during Reese's nap, and how many books I read the kids each day.  It's hard, transitioning from a career woman to a stay at home mom.  For some this change may have been easy, but for me, I still feel like I've lost a part of myself.  I feel that people don't look at me the same way...that I'm an undervalued member of society just because I don't have a "career." You work so hard and for so many years to get a diploma, a degree, and perhaps even (not me) go on to graduate school.  But when it comes time to be a mom...well all that goes out the window.  I don't feel for a second that my education was a waste and I do hope to be able to return to work someday, but in the meantime, it can be difficult to feel appreciated and to have the respect of my peers.  At times I do feel like I'm having a bit of an identity crisis...trying to redefine myself as a mom and gain the same satisfaction out of my current "job" as I did from my previous one.  I get questioned all the time...When are you going back to work...when are you putting the kids in preschool/daycare?  I just wish people could understand and appreciate that for right now this is my full time job, not some temporary gig.

So my struggle continues...there is no evaluation at the end of a year when you are a mom...there is no employee recognition, no pat on the back, no free lunch and no employee bonus.  But I do get big bear hugs, I love you's, and I get to see my kids learning something new almost every day.  If I could write another performance review for myself, some things I might include are as follows:

Motivation to Leave the House:  D-
Yes that is a D, not because I don't like leaving the house...I actually go kinda crazy after just a day or two of staying at home.  It's the mental desire to leave actually translating into the physical act of getting the kids fed, dressed and loaded into the car along with all their gear that makes it hard to get out sometimes...a lot of the time... And there are just SO many good excuses not to leave the house.  "It's winter" works from about November through March here.  Then there's, "It's too Windy," "It's too hot," "It's raining","It's an air quality action day."  Yea I know that last one is a stretch but you get my point.

Patience:  Somedays - A....Other Days - F
Yea this one needs some work...enough said.

Educational Activities: A
Well, since I read my kids about a gajillion books a day and we go to the library every week, I think I'm on the right track with this.  I hope...

Cleanliness: C
Are kids ever really clean????  And the house...well, I try!

Multitasking ability: A+
You should see me talking on the phone while changing Reese's diaper with Carter climbing on my back playing horsey.  Or making dinner while feeding the kids and watching the weather forecast.  Or cleaning the house, and doing laundry, while holding the baby.

And with those thoughts, I will sign off for tonight.  Mothers of the world, I salute you!

The Man Who Ate Pig Food

We've been reading Carter a story out of his kid's Bible every night before bed.  He told me just the other day, "I love to read my Bible every day!"  Melt my heart.  The funny thing is, his favorite story right now is about the prodigal son whom the father welcomes home after he's squandered all his riches.  (Luke 15).  His Bible calls this story, The Man Who Ate Pig Food.  So every night now Carter requests to hear the Man Who Ate Pig Food for his bedtime story.  I find it funny he is so fixated on this story rather than the more popular Jonah or Daniel or Noah or Adam and Eve.  But I guess he knows a good story when he hears one, and this is a great story about forgiveness.

We inadvertently had a chance to teach Carter about generosity today as well.  I had a big bag of toys, books, clothing and kitchen items to drop off at Goodwill.  He caught sight of a firetruck of his in the bag and was flipping out about it for about 15 minutes.  This was a toy he hadn't played with in a very long time.  So we told him we were giving it to someone else who couldn't afford to buy many toys for Christmas.  It took him a while to calm down and understand it but I do think he did by the time we reached Goodwill.  There were other kids there dropping off toys and it was good for him to see that I think.  You can never start too early teaching your kids to appreciate what they have and to be generous to others who have less.

Snow Creatures

Dec 10 2009

 No I'm not just referring to my children and my husband who have an insatiable appetite for playing in the snow, but also the snow creations they build.  Yesterday marked the first snowman of winter.  Derrick has some internal monitor that tells him when the conditions are perfect for snowman creation.  That monitor must have sounded the alert yesterday because as soon as he walked in the door from work, he was gearing the kids up to go outside.  Half an hour later, the snowman, whom Carter named "Frosty," stood in my backyard.  Despite the rather thin layer of snow, they managed to scrape together a pretty decent sized snowman.  This is just a prelude for what is to come...if you'll recall the snow behemoths Derrick constructed last year.  We had people parking in the street and walking up in our yard to take pictures with our snowman last year.

Christmas Day 2009 - NJ

New Years 2009 - Pittsburgh

The weathermen are calling for a big storm here tomorrow into Monday and so I think the excitement is building in anticipation of building another snow Goliath.  We'll see if the snow comes or not!