Carter was flipping through the mail the other day when he saw a story about a man who ate the most hot dogs ever while playing ping pong. Seriously? Yes, seriously! He brought it up to me later that evening and asked if the man would be in "the Venus book of fly records?" "Um, you mean the Guinness Book of World Records, Carter."
I showed Reese a picture online of a baby at 20 weeks gestation, in anticipation of my ultrasound. She looked carefully at the image and asked me, "Why doesn't the baby have any clothes on?" Now I've been showing her these emails I get every week for the last 20 weeks so I'm not sure why she asked this question now, halfway through the pregnancy. "Well, how would it get clothes when it's inside my tummy, Reese?" "I don't know."
Yesterday I took the kids out to the library and Trader Joe's for some groceries. Lawson has been really difficult lately whenever I take him out...see, all my comments about what an angel he is have now come back to bite me! Anyway, the library didn't go so great...he was banging on the fish tank, running down the rows, and even poked Wilbur, the library guinea pig on the nose, which is a huge No-No! In Trader Joe's he refused to sit in the seat of the cart so I put Sienna there and put him into the cart. He was hitting Sienna and trying to climb out. I stopped at the place where free samples are given out in hopes a bite to eat would pacify him for a few minutes. I managed to knock over a glass bottle of juice while getting the samples, which thankfully did not break. The woman working the samples that day was so sweet and sympathetic. She told me she had 4 grown children. We moved on to get more groceries and another store employee came up to me with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses. "These are from Karen." I was so blown away...the first woman wanted me to have flowers just to brighten my day. I walked back over and she just gave me a big hug and said, "We all have those days." Seriously...best part of my week, hands down! You just never know what a few kind words or an act of kindness can do for someone.
Yesterday was also the big 20-week ultrasound. We decided to find out what we were having again this time since the kids were very eager to know. The tie has officially been broken and the girls are coming out on top...we're having a little girl!!!
What kind of parent are you? Do you often find yourself frustrated, discouraged, ready to give up and give in? Do you feel exhausted, confused, disbelieving at the antics your kids pull right in front of your very eyes? Do you revel in their accomplishments only to feel the sting of disappointment when they turn right around and make a very bad decision almost immediately afterwards? More importantly, when your kids don't live up to your hopes and expectations, what is your reaction? I think about these questions often...wonder how I truly measure up as a parent...wonder how my kids will someday perceive me as a parent and remember their childhood experience. When I think about model parenting, I am drawn to the verses in the Bible that describe the love our Heavenly Father bestows on us...His often-wayward children.
1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
He lavishes His love on us, regardless of the way we behave or how devoted we are to Him. He gives us good gifts...day in and day out. And much of it is taken for granted. Hmmm...it does sound a bit familiar to my own parenting experiences. Only He offers so much more than I ever could to my own children.
The other morning I read a passage from John 1...
He is always full...overflowing. His love is boundless, limitless, unconditional. I love the Amplified version of "grace upon grace"....it reads "spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, favor upon favor, and gift heaped upon gift" How often do we perceive the full measure of His blessings, His favor and the good gifts He bestows upon us? Do we even take notice or are we too busy complaining about the things we don't have? When I think about the kind of parent I am, rather than looking more to the failings of my children, I need to carefully examine my own failings and identify ways I can point them back to God, their PERFECTFather. As much as they disappoint me at times, I disappoint them too...but He never will. I want to model for them, as much as I am able, a spirit of thankfulness.
We can never truly appreciate all the gifts heaped upon gifts if we aren't making a conscious effort to see and be thankful for them.
Before going to bed last night, I read a verse that I have heard countless times before...but it struck me in a whole new way...
1 Corinthians 11:23 "...the Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me."
On the night He was betrayed...on that very night He knowingly and willingly gave Himself up for you and for me...He gave thanks! He was not ignorant to the unimaginable torture and suffering He would soon endure on our behalf. He knew full well it would all culminate in the most painful death imaginable, with the very people He loved so dearly spitting on Him and jeering at Him as He took those last anguished breaths. But what did He do, in anticipation of all this suffering....He gave thanks!
I don't think I can possible hear the word grace the same way again. When I think about what it truly means to be a recipient of His grace...and not just once but grace given over and over and over again...I am simply overwhelmed...speechless...thankful beyond measure.
I'm unbelievably thankful for this grace upon grace...that He gives me love regardless of my too-often failings...that He isn't a God of grudges and comparisons but of forgiveness and encouragement.
He gives us more grace (James 4:6)...and for that I will be forever grateful!
Today could have been like any other day...rushing through to-do lists...making and cleaning up meals...barely keeping my head above water most of the time. But this afternoon in a period of just 20 minutes I was given a little "gift" if you will.
It began with a bird that landed in a tree in the backyard, one I didn't recognize immediately. I grabbed the camera to get a closer look, and discovered we had a cedar waxwing in our yard. At that very moment the kids squealed as we spotted the first monarch butterfly of the season, flitting past us. I came back to the deck to sit down and admired the big yellow sunflower we have growing in a pot on the deck...complete with two buzzing bees. Minutes later, I stopped to admire a ruby throated hummingbird at our feeder.
As I sit here thinking about these little glimpses of beauty, so glad I didn't miss them, I'm reminded of :
Psalm 33:5 - The earth is FULL of the goodness of the Lord.
The kids have been enjoying some of our summer staples...the annual Fire Truck Parade and our yearly trip to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Reese's birthday and play in the fountains. Lawson was a little wary of all the sirens at first, but warmed right up to the parade as soon as he got a lollipop. As usual, the kids got way more candy than they will ever possibly be able to eat!
Reese loved her special birthday lunch yesterday, ordering the same things she has ordered I think three years in a row now...French Fries and corn dogs...and topped off with none other than Reese's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake. And no, she did not eat that whole piece by herself!!
The kids all enjoyed splashing in the fountains after our lunch. Lawson stayed in the longest...the cold water didn't bother him a bit. Poor Aunt Laurie ventured out on the confusing Pittsburgh roads all on her own to join us for this special trip all because of a comment Reese had made to her the night before. When she initially said she didn't think she'd be coming Reese quipped right back, "But you said you weren't a party pooper!" Well, she wasn't!!! We loved having her share this special day with us!
To me, summer is the epitome of things coming to fruition. It is the ultimate symbolization and culmination of newness and life. No matter where you look, there is evidence of this astounding growth spurt, this annual surge of all that is beautiful and alive and fresh.
We caught a glimpse of a newly emerged cicada the other day...huge and iridescent...so transformed after spending all of it's life up to that point in darkness underground.
The kids reveled in picking two almost-3-pound zucchini from the garden the other night. From tiny seedlings to weighty vegetables, it is a marvel to watch this kind of growth in the garden every year.
Our first sunflowers began to open up as well as many other flowers in the garden. After many months of staring at bare ground, it is a refreshing sight to look out the windows and see all of this vibrant color again.
It reminds me while I'm going through seasons of darkness and little growth to keep hoping in the promises of God...to remember He is working in and through our trials...to have full faith that He can bring streams out of deserts.
So I had to succumb to the "mushy" factor and post just one photo of Reese from her 1st birthday party. Wow, it is truly hard to believe she's already 7 years old! This year we did an ice cream theme...which is really perfect for a hot July birthday party. The Pinata was a "hit" as always and lasted through many beatings from the girls and Carter. The pinata contained a clue for a scavenger hunt which led them all over the yard and finally to their "prize" which was pink t-shirts with each of their names on them.
We opted for cake pops and ice cream sundaes rather than a cake this year...the kids didn't seem to mind a bit. I'm not sure how many more of these parties I can pull off. I already started hinting to Carter that we may have to curtail after they hit age 10. :)
Sienna ran to me with great urgency in her eyes and held up her hand to my face. "I got a cut, Mama!" I sighed...only about the fifth one in two days. I held up her hand to my lips and gave the injured finger (barely a scrape on it) a big juicy kiss. "Better?" I asked her. She smiled her little grin and ran off.
No parent likes to see their dear one suffer any kind of pain, but sometimes they need to go through painful situations so they can become stronger. The amount of pain I could tolerate a child has been magnified exponentially after now having been through 4 childbirths. When things don't work out exactly as we like them to, that's when we experience real growth....
If there's one thing I've been trying to work on over the past year, it's been my prayer life. And I don't ever want to come across as someone who makes it all sound easy...because it's not...not even the slightest bit. For me, not only finding the time to pray but finding the time when I'm not completely exhausted or when my mind isn't going in a million different directions...it is real, serious work!
My ideas and concepts of what prayer is and the benefits of prayer and why we should pray...all of this has evolved and changed over the past 3+ decades of my life. Moving from very simplistic request-driven childhood prayers to the meatier prayers of a seasoned and trial-tested Christian woman has taken a lot of time. And there are many days I still feel like I'm in the infancy stages of my prayer life...that I still have SO far to go.
It's hard for me, so hard sometimes, not to pray with only my own agenda in mind. But I have to remind myself that'd be like calling a dear friend on the phone and only talking about myself and all the things I wanted and then hanging up. No, prayer is a conversation...we have to Listen as much as we do talk. We can't expect that God will answer all of our prayers in the way we want them to be answered. And when He doesn't, we shouldn't immediately give up praying or blame Him for things that aren't going our way...
Prayer is a lot more than submitting our "wish list" to God every day and hoping for immediate answers in the affirmative. Prayer is a conversation...a means of drawing nearer to Him...a means of discerning His heart for us and His will. It's a time to confess our shortcomings and sins, to be enveloped in His forgiveness and grace, and to thank Him for all the blessings He gives us.
I love the wise words of Proverbs 30:8-9... "...give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread...." Give me exactly what I need for today, Lord...just as Jesus taught us to pray... "give us this day our daily bread." There's a reason for this...when we have more than we need, we don't think we need God as much. I'm as guilty of this as the next person.
He'll give us what we need...we're promised that. It's just a matter of reminding ourselves that what we need and what we think we need are sometimes very, very different. I'm also comforted by the fact that God knows our sadness and our pain. He experienced unimaginable trials while on earth and He knows every tear that falls from our eyes. Psalm 56 even beautifully describes how He keeps track of our sorrows and keeps all of our tears in His bottle. He knows...sometimes it's just enough to dwell on that....He knows and He cares....deeply.
I waited patiently for the Lord;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
~ Psalm 40:1 ~
When I awoke this morning there was a prayer on my lips...a prayer I have prayed countless times. And as the day wore on, I began to be discouraged...I have prayed, could keep on praying this prayer for years to come and I may never receive the answer I want. I had just read Psalm 5:3 yesterday... a verse that speaks about praying and leaving our requests before the Lord...and then waiting, expectantly. And so I am waiting...I will continue to wait on Him.
I have great expectations for the prayers I send up to God. Wait....Hope...Trust...Surrender all to Him
None of this is easy. I wasn't ever told that it would be.
Tonight as I mowed the lawn, I enjoyed my time to listen to some of my favorite music. I listened to the words of Hillsong's "Touch the Sky" again and was again touched by this anthem of surrender...the reminder of our Hope in "Forever" with Him.
I will continue to pray...never giving up hope...and expecting great things....
Yesterday I took the kids out to the library and Trader Joe's for some groceries. Lawson has been really difficult lately whenever I take him out...see, all my comments about what an angel he is have now come back to bite me! Anyway, the library didn't go so great...he was banging on the fish tank, running down the rows, and even poked Wilbur, the library guinea pig on the nose, which is a huge No-No! In Trader Joe's he refused to sit in the seat of the cart so I put Sienna there and put him into the cart. He was hitting Sienna and trying to climb out. I stopped at the place where free samples are given out in hopes a bite to eat would pacify him for a few minutes. I managed to knock over a glass bottle of juice while getting the samples, which thankfully did not break. The woman working the samples that day was so sweet and sympathetic. She told me she had 4 grown children. We moved on to get more groceries and another store employee came up to me with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses. "These are from Karen." I was so blown away...the first woman wanted me to have flowers just to brighten my day. I walked back over and she just gave me a big hug and said, "We all have those days." Seriously...best part of my week, hands down! You just never know what a few kind words or an act of kindness can do for someone.
