A Run at Night by Firefly Light...

I was listening to the radio while driving this morning and a question the host asked caught my attention.  "What do you absolutely love about parenting?"  I listened as people started to call in with their answers...."my kids make me laugh"  "I love seeing my kids having fun together"...and then, I heard this, "I love how they help me to see things through a different set of eyes."  Wow...just take a minute to let that soak in.  Yes, for me, that is truly what I value most in parenting.  I can't imagine who I would be today were it not for the perspective changing journey of parenting.



A change of perspective is often very eye-opening and revealing.  A few nights ago I decided to go for a run after 9 pm...definitely not typical for me.  There was still some lingering daylight as I started out, but as the light quickly faded, I was greeted by numerous fireflies, beginning their light show for the evening.  I watched as the pink and purple sky grew darker and darker.  Streetlights began to flicker on, the neighborhood was quiet and the air was still...my senses were tuned in to so many things I would normally have ignored altogether.  The sidewalk in my neighborhood, which I have walked countless times, was transformed into a flickering light show for me to enjoy...

Beautiful Scarlet Tanager in our yard

I appreciate these opportunities to see things from a different perspective, whether I'm granted them through my kids or through other experiences I have.  It reminds me that life here on this earth is just a dim shadow of what it will someday be.  Our view, our perspective here on earth, is so shallow and small compared with the reality of what awaits us someday.  I am humbled and amazed when God reveals a new truth to me...when something ordinary becomes...extraordinary.

I love 1 Corinthians  13:12 (MSG) which says, "We don't yet see things clearly.  We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!  We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!"

Open my eyes, God, to what it is You want me to see each day.  Help me not to put my focus on the wrong things, but only on You.

More...

"We Christians must simplify our lives 

or lose untold treasures on earth and in eternity.  Modern civilization is so complex as to make the devotional life all but impossible.  

It wears us out by multiplying distractions 

and beats us down by destroying our solitude, where otherwise we might drink 

and renew our strength before going out

to face the world again."  

A. W. Tozer

Hearing the hummingbird's heartbeat

  This past Wednesday, we reveled in the incredible colors and variety of birds in our annual bird banding event.  To be able to see, up close, what is usually only visible from far away is an eye-opening experience to be sure.  Two favorites this year were the hummingbird, which everyone had a chance to touch and to listen to its heartbeat, and a red eyed vireo.  The vireo, normally a forest-dweller, happened to be flying through the yard on the wrong morning, but we loved the opportunity to see him!

This week, I've been studying scripture passages about finding rest from the demands of the world and making time to focus on God daily.

Part of my reading included a portion of a William Wordsworth poem that read:

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

Whenever I take the time to stop and truly appreciate the things around me, my family, Creation and all its wonders, the beautiful words of Scripture and the promises I read there, and stop worrying about the things of this world, I am always blessed.  Why do I worry so much about more...more activities, more material possessions, more projects...more "stuff" that crowds my calendar, fatigues my body, and wearies my soul?  I read The Message translation of Psalm 4:6-8 which reads:

Why is everyone hungry for more?  "More, more," they say.  "More, more."  I have God's more-than-enough, 
More joy in one ordinary day
Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.

Red Eyed Vireo

God, give me eyes to see what is real and true and of value in this life and help me to focus less on the things of this world that will only cause me to lie awake at night in torment. Give me joy in the ordinary, give me hope, give me peace.  Give me eyes to appreciate all the blessings you bestow on my everyday...the things I often miss because I am always so busy...  These tiny wonders I miss, every single day...even right in my own backyard, because I am too busy.

So today, instead of more, I am striving for less...

Less distractions that draw my mind away from God...
Less activities that, though they may not be "bad"...waste much of my time and energy...
Less worrying about things that I cannot change or that are unimportant...

And then, I will have so very much more...

The Keeper of Light

We spent the day in Erie, PA on Friday...a wonderful opportunity to get away from our crazy lives...to be crazy somewhere new!! The kids had a blast, first at the Erie Zoo and then at Presque Isle State Park. Though the winds were whipping and the waves were crashing on the beach, they still managed to have fun for almost 2 chilly hours. The girls and I decided it would be fun to do the tour of the small lighthouse and we greatly enjoyed our time learning about the history of the lighthouse and the keepers. 

It was by no means an easy or glamorous job, being a lighthouse keeper. In fact it was one of the most isolating and demanding jobs you could do for the meager pay of $500 per YEAR back in the mid 1800's. From April to November, you began working at sunset and worked until daybreak, ascending the very steep stairway to the top of the 57 foot tower with new kerosene to keep the lamp burning bright. The light could be seen from up to 15 miles away and warned ships that they were nearing the coastline.

There was no room for error.  The light had to shine brightly, night after night, or ships would be in grave peril.  As soon as the captain saw the beam, he recognized it as a warning and paid heed to it's message.  No one was foolish enough to forge onward toward the coast once they had received that warning message to turn back.

I've been to the top of many lighthouses over the years and always appreciate the beautiful imagery that can be drawn between a lighthouse and Jesus. He is our Light in this dark, dark World.  He came to warn us, to guide us in the right path, to try to prevent us from making choices that would cause us to shipwreck our lives.

I am so thankful for that life saving, life giving Light. 

John 8:12 say “I am the light of the world. 

Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, 

but will have the light of life.”

Psalm 118:27  "The Lord is God 

and He has made His light shine on us."

Heavy...

What are Heavy

What are heavy? Sea-sand and sorrow:
What are brief? To-day and to-morrow:
What are frail? Spring blossoms and youth:
What are deep? The ocean and truth.

Christina Rosetti

I happened upon a lovely little poem the other day. Its short and simple lines seemed so very innocent at first. But as I reflected on the meaning more and more, I grew to appreciate it on a deeper level. After a long day trying to juggle seemingly never-ending chores, school, cooking meals, and enjoying some time outdoors with the kids, I was exhausted. The baby was crying non-stop, everyone was asking for something different... it was all too much for me to deal with simultaneously. I needed to take a deep breath and reflect... and it was then that I remembered this little poem.

Heaviness and sorrow...my ever-present companions.

Today and tomorrow.... I barely seem to wake up and start my day and I blink...and it's over.

Youth...ever so frail. Daily I watch my children sprouting up before my eyes...becoming more and more independent. Daily they learn more, grow more, and need me less and less. I struggle to care for them, to meet their needs, to be a good parent, wondering how I'll make it another hour at times...and then I realize...in the blink of an eye it will all soon be over.

And finally, I am awed day in and day out by the Truth I find in God's Word. He takes all of these things...the sorrows, the fleeting moments, passing youth. He brings meaning to all of it...meaning beyond my comprehension....deep as the ocean.

Heavy....Brief...Frail...and Deep. Life is filled by challenges, but in those moments where I feel I am at the end of my rope, I know that I am not alone. I call out to God..."Take this burden from me, Lord! Thank you for each and every day that You give me. Thank You for carrying me in my most difficult moments. Thank You for the truths You have revealed to me in Your Word and how they give me great hope."

John 8:31-32 “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

The Simplicity and Purity of Devotion to Christ...

I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, 

your minds will be led astray from 

the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.

2 Corinthians 11:3

I've begun working through a summer Bible Study on Simplicity this week and have been trying to meditate on this verse throughout the course of the week.  Can I be totally honest though?  Nothing in my life...NOTHING...seems to be very simple right now.  I yearn for peace, for calm, for quiet, for healing, for less "stuff" cluttering my life (and house!) that distracts me from what is truly important.  But I have also come to terms with this being a season of life where I have to relinquish many of my wishes and desires and accept things as they are as a mother of 5 young kids...not simple!

We arrived about 30 minutes early to my son's soccer game this morning and I decided to take the three girls for a little walk through the woods to pass the time.  As we got closer to the woods, the sound of cicadas grew louder and louder.  Our paced slowed as we stopped over and over again to admire thousands of these amazing insects crawling on grass and leaves and tree trunks and flying through the sky.  We stopped to breath in the intoxicating sweetness of some honeysuckle.  We enjoyed pops of color from blooming wildflowers.  And I even stopped to appreciate the beauty and delicacy of one lone dandelion puffball blooming in some purple flowers...right before Eva picked it!!

As I enjoyed these simple joys and wonders of nature, I began to ponder again what this verse is saying about simplicity...that it is so much more than a clean and decluttered house or days that run smoothly.  It is a mindset, an attitude that I must choose to embrace every single day.  It is a conscious decision I must make when I wake up in the morning to put my focus on Christ first, and nothing else.  There is a daily and ongoing supernatural battle for my mind...one I am scarcely even aware of at times.  It is a battle I am incapable of winning on my own. It requires me to trust in God, in His plan for me, and to relinquish my control over to Him.  Only in surrendering my will to Him do I find peace.  In reading and meditating on His Word, I find what my soul has been yearning for all along...rest for my weary soul.

You may wonder how I can say I found unhindered joy in staring at a bunch of bugs and weeds this morning...but I did.  And I am saying this is the context of some really trying circumstances in my life.  Though I walk through a very deep valley, there is still so much joy.  Though some prayers seem to go unanswered, I still see God working in miraculous ways.  Though I am in a place of great emotional, physical and spiritual pain, the peace that passes understanding is daily being poured out on me.  My cup runs over!

I urge you, if you are hurting, overwhelmed, confused, struggling with life, ask God to help you.  Choose to put your focus on and your trust in Him.  Many will brush God aside, looking for ways to work things out on their own.  Don't be one of them.  Embrace the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.  Do this, and you will begin to see the complexity and perfection of a world He specifically designed with our enjoyment and best interest in mind.   

I'll Be There if You Fall...

We had another whirlwind visit to the library the other morning to sign all the kids up for the summer reading program.  Two-year-old Eva was on a mission to make our visit as difficult for me, and as loud, as she could.  When it was time to go, she insisted on pushing the heavy doors open on her own and wanted to walk down a flight of about 8 cement steps to get down to the parking lot.  I tried to grab her hand, but she kept pulling it away and vehemently declaring, "I do it myself, Mama!"  And so I walked backwards in front of her, waiting to catch her should she fall down.

As I was watching her descend the steps on wobbly toddler legs, I longed for her to let me help her.  The last thing I wanted was to watch her fall and hurt herself, but she was so insistent, I relented and let her do it her way.

Yesterday, I asked Eva if she wanted help washing her sticky fingers before we sat down for a meal.  "Can I help you wash your hands?" Again, she brushed me aside and said "Me help me, Mama!"  In that moment I saw a picture of myself.  I saw God, reaching out to help me and very clearly could see myself holding up an overconfident hand and saying to Him, "I've got this God.  It's all under control.  I don't need Your help or direction in this because I can handle it on my own just fine."

And then I could see Him more closely...could see the sting of disappointment on the Father's face as His outstretched hand dropped back...could see Him, still near, but wishing to be closer, to be more intimately involved in my activities throughout the day.  And when the end of the day drew near, I was again reminded of Him and of that help He offered me.  As I struggled through difficult emotions about things that didn't go my way that day, I was reminded that He had offered to help me with those things.  The words of James 4:8 echoed in my head..."draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." 

He knows how stubborn I am by nature.  Just like my toddler, who I love so very much, He allows me to forge ahead on my own. 

We started to release some of our tadpoles this week...they've transformed into mini frogs now...so tiny and delicate and helpless still.  They are starting to become what they were meant to be...frogs instead of fish-like tadpoles.  Their transformation is well underway but not yet complete.  Isn't that so much like you and I?  We are undergoing a transformation process in our lives, one that will take a lifetime to complete.  God is with us every step of the way, urging us forward, picking us back up again when we fall down.  He is so patient and so loving that He allows us to choose our own way...but He ultimately knows the best way. 

God, help me!  Just when I think I have everything figured out, it all comes crashing down.  Take hold of my hand and lead me through these rough and uneven paths.  I am weak, but I know that You are strong and I know that You will NEVER leave me.