A True Servant

 Today was one of those days I just want to close out and forget....where I felt like nothing I did went quite right...kids weren't sleeping, weren't eating what I tried to feed them, weren't cleaning up their messes, weren't doing their school lessons.  There were plenty of fights between the older two.  Little one cried....A LOT.  Just a typical day in the life of any mom but for whatever reason, it really GOT to me.

In preparing for my Bible study all week, I've been reading about the disciples and how Christ called them to basically just pick up and walk away from everything they knew to come and follow Him...right there on the spot... no questions asked.  And they did.  What amazing faith!  I feel at times like it is impossible for me to have any sort of "ministry", being at home as I am and so tied up with the kids all the time.  But it's a good reminder for me, in a way, to be brought down a notch by my kids.  To be humbled by their attitudes and actions to the point where I do have to just say, "God, I need Your help and wisdom to make it through this situation."  I can't will them or force them to act or behave in a certain way all the time...at some point I have to just give it up to God in prayer.

Christ called us to serve others and what better way can I serve right now than by being a servant for my children?  It is so easy and tempting for me to feel burdened by them.  I mean, yea, they are a HUGE burden, to be sure, in every possible way.  But rather than drowning in a self-made pity party I need to keep reminding myself of the enormous privilege it is to have them and raise them.  My kids can be a constant reminder to me of what it means to "take up my cross and follow Him".  Because really, the things I valued before...the free time, additional income, nicer wardrobe...how could any of that compare to the joy of having these three precious ones?

Best car commercial ever...

A friend shared this with me today.  I'm not really sure how you could even fit 3 kids into a Fiat...but it is the funniest car commercial I've seen...

Survival

Well, little did I know I was jinxing myself saying we were getting better last time I wrote on my blog.  I ended up getting it too last Friday.  But thankfully, I got a much less severe version of what Derrick and the kids had so I'm pretty much back to normal now.  So yes, after 2 weeks of fending off nasty germs I think we have fulfilled our quota for this winter.  The kids have been fine since later last week and that's been the real kicker.  They are insane from being cooped up for 2 weeks with no friends to play with and Derrick and I are exhausted from trying to keep them entertained.  And of course Sienna is still waking up 2 or 3 times every night.  Truly no rest for the weary!  You really don't fully appreciate your health until you've been sick for a while.

To say I'm ready for spring would be an understatement.  I'd be willing to give up dark chocolate and chai tea for a year just to get a couple nice sunny 70-degree days in a row.  Sigh...

Reese has been giving us SUCH a hard time about eating her meals lately.  Around 4 pm I was just starting to get dinner ready and she very emphatically said to me, "I am not eating dinner tonight!"  Then 15 minutes later, she asked me in her sweet sing-song voice, "When is dinner going to be ready?"  When we did sit down to eat, I offered her some carrot souffle...a dish both kids have devoured in the past.  Her comment was,  "I won't eat anything that doesn't have M&M's in it!"  Um yea...not sure where that came from.  Not like anything else I made had M&M's in it.  When she did finally try it, she loved it and asked if she could have it for her bedtime snack and for dinner tomorrow too.  Oh how I love trying to rationalize with the completely irrational and ever-changing mind of a 3-year-old.

Carter said to us at dinner tonight, "When I grow up and have kids, I will let them play Mario Kart whenever they want."  We'll just see about that...

Not over yet...

Well, just when we thought everyone was over the worst...the sickness has returned.  Both kids were coughing more today and Carter ended the night with another fever.  Ugh...will it never end??  Poor kiddos.  I see a trip to the pediatrician in our future tomorrow.

Carter's day was significantly brightened when he received not one, but four packages from Uncle Ed in the mail.  He is thrilled with the new tool set!!!  He immediately asked Derrick what project they could work on together with his new tools.

At dinner tonight, frustrated that the kids once again were not eating what I had cooked, I asked them, "If there is anything I could cook for you for dinner that you would really like to eat, what would it be."  Reese answered, "Candy!"  Carter answered, "A chocolate bar bigger than our house!"  Anyone have a good recipe for candy bar casserole??

On the mend...

We are ever so slowly getting back on track in the Berad household.  The flu hit us hard, that is for sure.  Carter and Reese are mostly better and Derrick is slowly getting there too.  Thank you, everyone for your prayers.  We are so thankful that Sienna escaped it!

For the Birds

 The kids wanted some pictures with their Angry Birds yesterday and I was happy to oblige.  I didn't get a chance to look through them until now.  I really needed a smile after this long and difficult day.  My poor hubby has the flu and it looks like Reese may also.  Please send up a prayer for all of us right now!

 I just can't stand this picture...it makes me smile after even the most stressful day!

 There's that combover again!

4 Months

 Well I missed the 4-month "anniversary" by a week or so....but better late than never.  There comes a point in the new life of each newborn baby that you look at them and...suddenly, they aren't that teeny tiny baby anymore.  We have hit that point.  Sienna is holding that little head up strong, she can roll over, she can pick up toys and put them right in her mouth.  She is growing up SO fast...too fast!

Fashion

 My kids both LOOOOOVE to pick out their own clothes.  Which really wouldn't be such a bad thing...I mean they are doing something for themselves, right?  Except that they tend to pick the worst possible outfits.  In Carter's case, we rotate through the same three angry birds shirts over and over until none are clean.  For Reese, she'll pick the most un-matching things in her closet and put them all together.  Well, their outfits today topped it all.  This is the actual outfits they wore to go to Costco today.  Carter has his angry birds shirt under his basketball pinny and his superhero cape.  Reese is wearing red polka dot pants with a lime green tshirt (which is mostly hidden), a sequined dance leotard/tutu, her pink sparkly boots, pink velvet gloves, her Pinkalicious cupcake purse, a Hawaiian lei around her waist. and of course her purple superhero cape.

She did not want me to take a picture of her...see facial expressions...and then Derrick told her if she would just smile she'd get a treat.  See last picture.  Oh how they have us under their little thumbs!

Pageantry

I was already having one of those weekends where I just didn't feel very good about myself.  The kids were crazy, the baby woke up very early each morning, and I just felt generally...blah!  When I finally did manage to drag my sorry butt down to exercise at 9 pm on Saturday night I was faced with some pretty grim prospects to watch on TV while I worked out.  It was either a rerun of the Biggest Loser, which might seem like a good choice if I hadn't just watched it a couple days earlier, or the Miss America Pageant, which is truly like the antithesis of the Biggest Loser.  So I watched the Pageant.  Now if you are already feeling a little less than enthusiastic about your physique, I really do not recommend this.

But it did get me to thinking...why isn't there a Miss Mom-Merica Pageant.  I think there must be a requirement of at least one or maybe even two pregnancies to enter and a minimum age of 30.  Instead of the swimsuit competition, it could be the sweatpants/shirt competition.  Stretchmarks, varicose veins, gray hairs, and of course wrinkles would earn you extra points with the judges.  Yea, who am I kidding???  Who would watch that. :)

In other news, Sienna is now starting to grab/hold toys.  She can pick something up and bring it up to her mouth to chew on it.  I'm quite sure she is teething.  Sleep hasn't really gotten any better...I keep hoping soon...

The Age of Innocence

Well, I've been trying to compose this post for about 3 days unsuccessfully and I'm not sure how successful this attempt will be either.  Hours of sleep each night have been faaaaar less that I'd like, and checking myself into a mental institution sounds like a decadent vacation in many ways.  Haha!

But as I put Reese to bed tonight, on the verge of falling asleep myself, I experienced a "moment."  You know...one of those brief occurances where time seems to stand still and you think to yourself....this is a time I will always remember.  And indeed I will.  Reese has been asking me lately to sing songs to her right before I kiss her goodnight.  For a while we were singing Christmas songs and I've been throwing in some other favorites of mine as we get further past the holiday.  I can remember so clearly as a little girl how my grandmother would hold me on her lap while sitting on her rocking chair and sing the old hymns to me.  There are so many of them that I haven't heard in years, but when I hear one in church, it will literally bring a tingle to my spine as I'm instantly transported back to her dimly lit living room where I'd nestle in her warm lap.  Those songs were like a comforting blanket draped over me as I drifted toward sleep.  And tonight I was able to witness the same effect with my own daughter. As I laid beside her in bed, singing to her and stroking her soft forehead, she drifted softly and peacefully to sleep.

The innocence of my children is not something I take lightly.  Indeed, I've been more acutely aware of it now than ever before as the countdown to school has officially begun. (less than 8 months).  With each new milestone, the kids become more self-sufficient, which is a good thing, but also lose some of that childish innocence.  Christmas was a difficult time as Carter began really asking some tough questions about death and evil in the world.  The combination of our cat dying and the school shootings brought on a lot of questions and while I'd like to shelter him completely from anything like this for about the next decade, the reality is, this is life and this is the world we live in.  As much as I want my kids to think that the world is all flowers and sunshine, that can only last for so long.  And it's hard to face that, as a parent.  At least for me it is.

Snow creations!

We got outside for a bit today and were able to build some fun snow creatures in the front yard...a snow man and a snow Snoopy.  Sienna got a little snow bed to lay in while we put the finishing touches on Snoopy.

I think the cold winter weather is getting to everyone in this house.  Sienna's good day yesterday was not repeated today.  Ugh!  Derrick was asking the kids at dinner if they wanted to go on vacation somewhere this year.  The conversation went something like this:

Reese:  Yes!  I want to go to the beach!
Carter:  No not the beach!
Derrick: Why not the beach?
Carter: Because every time we go to the beach I get sand in my butt.
Derrick: Well you can rinse off in the ocean.
Carter: No, I want to go to Canada

Derrick: That is hard to drive to this time of year.
Carter: Well we can fly there in an airplane.
Derrick: Do you have enough money in your piggy bank to buy a plane ticket?
Carter: I have a lot of money but I'm saving it for something important.
Derrick: Like what?
Carter: Toys.

Better night...and day

 It is amazing what 9 straight hours of sleep can do for a crabby baby.  Yes folks, we have a new record!  She made it from 11 pm to 8 am without waking and is SOOOO much happier today.  Hallelujah!  There is hope...

Oh and don't you just love her combover!?!

From bad to worse

 Just when you think you've seen the worst...it gets a little worse!  Yes, this may just have been one of the hardest days yet with the kids.  Sienna was up at 4:45 am and cried about 75% of the day.  Is it sad that the highlight of my day was playing Just Dance on the Wii with Carter and another 5-year-old friend?  I know...it's pathetic.  Here's to a better day tomorrow!

The rugged path to simple obedience...

At my Bible study today, our leader used a phrase that I really liked.  She was wrapping up our study of Deuteronomy and was talking about Moses's obedience to God during his rise as a leader of the Israelites.  She spoke of the "rugged path to simple obedience" and how we all struggle in very similar ways to the ways that Moses and the Israelites struggled.  Obedience seems like a very straightforward thing.  You are given guidelines to follow and you are expected to follow them...no questions asked, right? Ah, but if it were only that simple.

I look at my children and I think of the ways I ask them and expect them to obey throughout the day every day.  I get so frustrated when they repeatedly disobey me...sometimes in complete and outright defiance...  It hurts me...it is painful anytime I see them making poor choices, like choosing to fight, rather than share, or choosing not to eat nutritious food and only wanting to eat junk, or choosing not to clean up a mess and then losing their toys as a punishment.  Some days it seems like all they do is disobey, even when I feel the guidelines are pretty simple...the rules are pretty straightforward, and the consequences not worth the risk.

But a little self-reflection is always a humbling thing.  In what areas has God laid down the law and I've not followed it as closely as I should?  Or what has He asked me to do that I just outright ignore.  Obedience seems simple when you read about it...but to really apply it to the every day...wow...the implications are almost staggering at times.

So I guess when I'm having a really tough day and feeling like the kids never listen to me...I'll try to remember that this is how God feels when I don't obey.  I'll try to remember to do a better job myself of modeling obedience so that my kids can have some concept of what it's about.  And I'll try to point them to the example Jesus set for us, of perfect obedience, even when it meant He had to give up his very life for a bunch of disobedient sinners.

Crybaby

 I really have a new appreciation for the word crybaby these days.  I mean, I think I'm a pretty tolerant person...I've learned what it means to be patient...you have to be patient if you spend all day every day with three kids.  But listening to a baby cry all day every day from 6 am until 7 or 8 pm...well that is the true test.  Listening to a baby scream all day while still trying to manage two other children...insane.  Not to mention, we still aren't sleeping through the night most nights...many nights we are waking up two, three....even 5 times when Carter and Reese also wake up.

She's bald everywhere but the top of her head!

We thought surely we'd get a break on the third child and she'd be at least a little more easy going, or like to sleep...but no.  She barely sleeps all day and cries whenever she is not being held.   Oh, and I failed to mention that it's not just holding her...you must be in constant motion.  Oh and it's not just any motion...it's like jumping up and down on a pogo stick, while walking, and jiggling a baby. UGH!!!  I will not fail to mention this to them over and over again when they are teenagers.